to think that its a bit much to let a 7 year old change a wet bed at night

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My dd is currently under the enurisis clinic for bedwetting. She is 7. We are following all the advice and instructions but, one of the things the doctor wants her to do is strip and change the wet bed at night and record the time, without help from me.

Now, I would almost certainly hear her fumbling around trying to do this and it breaks my heart to think that I could leave her struggling with all this. Also, she cant tell the time so she wouldnt be able to record it anyway.

I told the doctor that I didnt feel comfortable doing this but she just said that she was advising me what to do and thinks I should follow the advice.

Second opinion?

I've got older children who can barely make the bed let alone change the sheets. Seems unnecessarily harsh.

No, in a million years I would not do this, doctors advice or no doctors advice. She can't help it and this is a punishment, imagine how tired and sad she must be struggling to do that.

No, no, no, no!

YANBU, I think that's dreadful advice. Bedwetting is nothing to be ashamed of and making her change her own bed when she's still little is not on. Speaking from childhood experience I can say that a good old-fashioned star chart, calm atmosphere and lots of praise for dry bed worked for me.

I would just quietly ignore this part of the doctor's advice. 7 is far too young for this imho. Many doctors know very little about actual children.

Presumably this advice is based on some sort of research? I'd ask for the reason behind it before deciding.

Re. telling the time, couldn't you have a digital clock in her room, then all she has to do is copy down the numbers?

Agree 7 does seem young, but I suppose there must be some logic behind the advice.

I dont have experience of this.. but it seems harsh to me...almost like a punishment

surely a few reassuring words from a parent and a helping hand to get snuggled back down for the night is better??

like I say I have no experience so may be wrong

No, sounds cruel. Maybe do it with your help - but the poor wee thing will feel bad enough already

My friend's 8 year old dd bed-wets and she has to change her bed in the night.
I was a bit shocked when my friend told me this as agree with everyone else that it is a bit harsh.
I'd ignore it too and I would get up and change her bed.
By all means, she could help you, but i wouldn't like to leave her to do it on her own.

why on earth would anyone advise this anyway?

what does how quickly she can change a bed by herself in the middle of the night have ot do with her bedwetting?

honestly, some people have no clue (GP, not you!)

I agree ok for her to help but wouldnt like to think of her struggling on her own, 7 is still so little!

if you are not happy with it i would ignore that bit, if there is supposed to be some benefit in her doing it then why not comprimise and you both do it together
i second the suggestion of asking dr why do they recommend this? because without any reason then no wonder you dont feel happy with it

I know I couldnt let her do it alone.

It must be upsetting for her to wake up and find the bed wet but to then have to do all that in the dead of night alone? I dunno seems harsh to me

Could be preg hormones but it made me a lil upset to even think about her doing it all alone

no no no

how unkind, poor DD, how very dare the Dr suggest this

double dress the mattress - water proof/bottom sheet, water prooof/bottom sheet

whip off the wet linen to reveal fresh bed in double quick time

Are you:

increasing fluid intake in the daytime (school can help with promptin her to drink)
avoiding red and brown drinks (ribena/cola)
doing wee/teeth/wee before bed

My child had great success with desmo melts, what medication have you been given to try so far?

i think taht is terrible. it seems as though the doc thinks that having to change the bed will subconsciously teach your DD to stop bedwetting. i wouldn't do it and i w ould be telling the doc why. then i would ask for a second opinion.

oh the shame

PROMPTING

sorry

Shocking. It does sound cruel and like a punishment and the important thing is that if you feel the same, don't do it.

Just because the doctor has advised it does not mean you have to follow it in your home.

Maybe you could ask her to come and wake you so you can do it together?

Does she actually wake up?

YANB, I think the doing it together option is much much better.

a star chart will not help - the bedwetting is caused by a hormone that is produced as the child's body matures; the child obv has no more control over the production of the hormone than they have over when they get their teeth

I think the idea behind it is that in her subconcious she will come to associate wetting the bed with hard work, and this will stick in her brain even when she's asleep. It seems mean to me though, she is only little and changing a bed is pretty awkward even for an adult.

Our 7 year old DS still wets the bed sometimes cos he sleeps so deeply and doesn't realise he is weeing in his sleep.

I completely agree with you - It would absolutely break my heart to imagine him having to change the bed by himself.

As so many have said before, that makes it a punishment for something that is definitely not the child's fault.

I would not take that advise.

We lift him and take him to the toilet once a night at about midnight and restrict fluids after about 6pm and it does seem to be working.

Give your DD a big hug for me - I hate to think of how many parents are being given that advise and actually sticking to it .

hippy chick could you increase fluid intake in the day to stretch the bladder and thus improve capacity

lifting at night is not recommended but I totally get why folks do

I certainly did

I have experience in bedwetting, can you tell?

it is the sort of thing i have read in books written by victims of abusive parents/carers when they make them change their sheets in teh middle of the night.

I think it would be unreasonable to make a 7yr old do this, surely it would add to her embarrassment and seem like a punishment?

What is the doctors reasoning behind making her do it herself?

Could dd help you do it, or write the time down whilst you change the sheets? So it is a joint responsibility.

I was getting to the end of my tether with DS who is 6 and half and was wetting every night but did not want to wear nappies as they are for babies, his sister was dry from the age of 2 so he was quite self conscious about it. (The reason I was frustrated was I couldn't work out when he was peeing, a few mornings I would go through and wake him, and he would be dry, then go back through after he'd fallen asleep again to say you need to get up now and he'd be wet!)

He just stopped over night a few months ago and has only had a few wet beds since. We tried lifting, reducing drinks after dinner and nothing worked. It will happen in its own time.

YANBU. Ds (7 yo) wet his bed a few weeks ago and didn't wake me or dh. I heard him fumbling around. He was trying to make a bed on the floor with a sleeping bag . He was embarrassed to say anything. I canged his bed and he went back to sleep. It makes me sad to think of him trying to change his own bed poor mite. Can't believe this was suggested by a professional.