to be considering abortion?

[aimee0211]

ok, so yes I know I am...but can't help thinking about it.

Background info -
I am 19 years old, and 17 weeks pregnant today. I have quit university and have moved back in with my parents (although my mother is less than happy with this arrangement), she has been pushing me towards abortion since she found out when i was 5 weeks.

My grandma has pancreatic cancer and my great-grandma died on monday, which means that timing for something as big as unplanned teenage pregnancy is not ideal.

I have A-level qualifications but no job prospects, no money and nowhere to live. Am currently on the list for council housing, which will be in a horrible area when i get one and will have to go on benefits to pay for it.

My boyfriend and I are still together (barely), he has no qualifications but does go to college full time and is planning on going back for another year in September, meaning he will have no income either and will have to claim benefits.

After feeling my baby moving and buying things for the baby, I don't know if I can go through with an abortion but I don't know whether I can bring a baby into this world in these circumstances.

Sorry it's so long...just really don't know what to do.

My cousin's Dd had a baby at just turned 15. She is now 22 and her Ds is 7. She is studying part time again as well as working pt and wouldn't change a thing.
You have to make your own decision here and whichever one you make, life will never be the same again. I hope you make the right one for you. Good luck.

really really feel for you Aimee, it's a horrible scary place to be.

try and be really kind to yourself, and as honest as you can be about what you want for yourself and what you can and can't live with.
take some time to really think hard about things - sometimes writing stuff down and then looking at it later can help.

i've been in a similiar situation.

all i can say is the sun will shine again. sending you a massive hug.

Aimee try and find a private let that will accept dss then you wont have to worry about hosuing lists etc, and you can pick and choose what area you wanrt to live in. You might qualify for the rent deposit scheme which means you wouldn't have to stump up a fortune for a deposit (dunno if they do this in england )

tbh i've read the whole thread and it doesn't sound like you want to get an abortion, so my adivce..dont! I did when i was the same age as you (now 25) and it took me years to come to terms with but its different for everyone, my friends had 2 now and it really didn't bother her as she was sure that what she wanted to do. This decision is totally yours and dont let anyone try to persuade you into doing something you dont want to at the end of the day it you that has to live with the decision you make.

You could still go back to uni next year part time and put the baby in a creche. there is funding and help for young mums the key is finding it. the CAB should be able to help and sure start if you want to continue the preganacy

I really feel for you, big hugs (((()))))

Hi Aimee. Like other posters, I think you really do not want to go ahead with an abortion. If it was what you truly wanted you would have made the arrangements by now. The reason why you are now in a dilemma is because you know the deadline for termination is looming and you feel that its now or never.

But as others have said, its not the only option. You could go ahead and have the baby, see how you feel, see what your situation is like then. You could still seek to have the baby adopted if you feel you've made a big mistake. One thing to consider though is that the father's views will be taken into consideration. If he (or even his parents) are able to raise the child - the Court will look favourably on them to do so. You really would benefit from professional advice as it is not simply two options.

I truly wish you well and I honestly believe it will all work out fine for you. (((hugs)))

The number of rooms in your mum's house shouldn't affect where you are on the list for a HA flat/house. You should be classed as sharing someone else's home as you are over 18 even though it is your mum's home. Me and DH were on the HA list for nearly two years and we were classed as sharing smeone else's home even though it was my parents.

If you've considered a hostel but don't like it (I did and would rather have lived rough) are there any mother and baby hostels in your area? I considered that as being at my parents for so long was driving everyone nuts. The one in our area was a lot nicer than the normal hostel. I'm not sure if you can go there before you have the baby (if you decide to keep it) but it moght be worth looking into.