To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

[ApocalypseCheese]

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

All my children are NT, and it's easy to take for granted that as they get older they acquire a new level of responsibility. But I still think the oft-CP'ed OP is clear enough.

Why oh why would anyone believe that Apoc's DD should be endangered even if (and I stress this is not what happened) she was late?! I can't understand that mentality at all.

And from what I understand it's not the case that Apoc was home 10 minutes before DD was due, she was home 10 minutes earlier than the earliest time DD has ever been dropped off in 6 years. How is that late?!

I'm a little flabbergasted; and it takes a lot to gast my flabber I can tell you!

silverfrog - it is possible to say that the OP was not entirely clear and still say YANBU. The fact that many people misinterpreted the OP and what supervision means surely evidences that it wasn't entirely clear.

Yes, AC was NBU, but neither was she totally clear about what the service entailed and what the agreement was in terms of person to person handover in the OP. Hence the confusion by some.

Have just read the whole thread. I found the op quite clear. I also don't think she was BU. I think that some people here have been thoroughly unpleasant and reading the thread, her Brain cells remark was probably justified! Fwiw I don't use AIBU often any more, I find it is so often used as an excuse to start a bunfight!

Saggy - if you had to read the whole thread to understand the story, then surely the OP (by which I mean orginal post) wasn't entirely clear?

Or does OP mean original poster? In which case the OP was clear, but her original post wasn't.

Oh God, I've even confused myself now!

TheBossofME -we'll have to agree to disagree on that one.

I simply cannot understand how anyone can misunderstand a sentence which sets out that a school age child has ASD, and cannot be left aone for their own safety.

what is there ot misunderstand?

how can "cannot be left alone for her own safety" be misinterpreted? especially once oyu add in SN

Youknownothing, my flabber is well and truly gasted too.

Tho tbh I do think some posters deliberately misread threads in the hope of a good old bunfight unfortunately .

silverfrog - she didn't say left alone, she said unsupervised. Not the same thing at all.

you're splitting hairs, now.

either way, it cannot happen for her own safety

so what is there to misunderstand?

OFGS, never mind. I'm not trying to have a bunfight, I'm saying that she was NBU. But it is OK to point out that she was a tad unclear in her OP. That's all.

Well, I wasn't the only one to misunderstand what the service entailed, so either half the posters on here are super-thick, or the OP was unclear.

Off to supervise my DD now.

OP YABU , in my opinion,(and you did ask!)

Sounds like you are angry with YOURSELF - you were cutting it fine to get back even for her usual time - a traffic jam or accident in front of you could have easily held you up a few minutes

I am sorry that your DD was left alone and you are understandably concerned/ but also relieved she came to no harm

the child went in an UNLOCKED front door and the driver naturally assumed this meant you were in.

if my child was coming home on a school bus i would make sure I was home before school ended, so that if I was NOT HOME for any reason, i could contact the school BEFORE she was stuck on the bus and sent off

Septictoe, that is fine, you are entitled to your opinion.

Given that I am also entitled to say your opinion is a big pile of horse poo.

And the only person I felt anger towards is the one who did not fulfill her duty of care towards my child.

BigFat - have you read the rest of the thread?

The OP's reason for being late?

The obligation of the escort to HANDOVER the DD to an adult?

I wouldn't say "super-thick" exactly. Just not good at English.

See this bit is exactly what this whole thread is about;

"the driver naturally assumed this meant you were in"

The driver was very very wrong to just assume someone was in when the whole point of the transport agreement is that there is a handover between two agreed adults.

Driver was negligent. Anything could have happened and the poor child in question was very frightened as it was.

As has been said the OP could have been having a pint in the pub and the driver would still have been wrong.

Anything else is immaterial really.

I've found this whole thread totally incomprehensible. We have a school bus service (because we live very rurally) and I would be horrified if my child was just deposited through an open door, regardless of whether or not I was there.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of being home in time for the bus (and I can't believe that posters really think the OP should be home 10 minutes before the bus is DUE! Presumably they turn up at the school gates 10 minutes early in case the children get let out early?) as a parent, if I am looking after a friend of one of the dcs I would NEVER just watch a child walk in through the front door without having actually seen that the parent was there. Surely that's just common sense?

Where I live, if a parent is not around when the bus gets to the stop the child is taken back to school. Until they have actually handed the child over to the parent the school/bus company are legally responsible

YANBU OP.

You cannot assume. It is against everything in the rules, guidelines, best practice of every service for or with vulnerable people. you are trained to not make assumptions.

Hell, you can't even write that X enjoyed such and such an activity if they haven't or can't tell you so! You have to say that X appeared to me to indicate enjoyment

You can't assume anything, certainly not something as important as the presence of a person who you have not seen

Nope, Thebossofme, I found the original post quite clear. As for ACs further posts, she was at home in good time, 10 minutes before arrival time. How many posters here dont get to school 10 minutes before colection? Would it be acceptible to just turn kids onto the street? As she says that she always makes herself visible to the escort, and this day, she was absent, the escort should have checked everything was okay. As for leaving the door unlocked in the first place, what bearing does that have on anything? AC pays for this service, although this is also irrelevant, if you provide a service, you have a responsibility. What if AC was hogtied and gagged whilst someone burgled her house? Or what if the builders she mentioned were dodgy and had assaulted her daughter? The escort was negligent!

I think that septic toe has perfectly summarised what happened. Apocalypse obviously came here to vent, went about it the wrong way, was a bit nasty and got a few peoples backs up.

She then came back with more detail and tried to make her point clearer. Most people then agreed with her.

It's a bit convenient that she got stuck in traffic while her daughter sailed home. I still don't think everything adds up.

PMSL!

FFS, at no point did I say I got stuck in traffic, I said the bus was late, I don't know why it was late, it could have been abducted by aliens for all I know (totally different route anyways)

And I got (quite rightly) annoyed when I was accused of neglect by a few ignorant fools.

Seriously !

Op has said she wasn't stuck in traffic, that her bus was 30 minute late

Jess she didn't say she was stuck in traffic. The bus was late. The school transport had almost no children on it for once and so DD was dropped home 10 minutes earlier than the earliest time she had ever been dropped.

The transport had a legal obligation to handover DD to a named adult.

I'm leaving this thread now as it's just going round and around. AC you have my complete support!

If you read the posts, her bus was late but she was still home 10 minutes before drop off time. being late herself would mean she was home after drop off time. she wasn't. Op I not at fault. Maybe the bus was late because everyone was rushing to get home for the world cupmatch. Maybe the school bus was early because lots of kids had been kept off so parents could watch it? Maybe the escort was in a hurry because they wanted to watch football?
I am assuming,.. Like the escort was. Escort was wrong to assume. Kids lives are at stake here.

PMSL - where on earth did this idea that the OP was stuck in traffic come from