Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

606 replies

ApocalypseCheese · 23/06/2010 17:31

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

OP posts:
EvilTwins · 24/06/2010 23:25

Yes, cory, I did conclude that the OP's situation was very different to the one I'm used to. I just didn't get from the OP that her DD needed to be handed directly from one adult to another - I read it as the school has responsiblity on the journey home, and that the parent then has responsibility from the moment the child arrives home. It's a matter of interpretation, and I'm happy to conceded that I misinterpreted, due, as I've said, to my ignorance of sn issues. That doesn't make me thick or wrong - just lacking in facts.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 24/06/2010 23:26

I have read the thread yes. I used the playground as an example of the necessity to hand over to an adult.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 24/06/2010 23:27

I know Bibbity, thank you and everybody else too.

Just about sums up my life tbh,and others of course. How dare I step into other peoples precious neuro-typical world and make them think deeply for a second

OP posts:
toccatanfudge · 24/06/2010 23:27

"You don't need knowledge of SN issues. If it happened to an NT child in the playground it would be wrong too (at primary at least)."

ermm - nope - DS's is in YR4, as soon as he moved up to YR3 (the junior school - they're splut round here - but still primary age) they are let out of the classrooms, to get their bags from the lockers and allowed to leave the school building, and the playground on their own.

cory · 24/06/2010 23:27

Ah to me it was the words "never left unsupervised for her own safety" that gave the clue. I took it that the OP meant this literally. As indeed she did.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 24/06/2010 23:29

And I will repeat, if I want to post in AIBU about an issue regarding my sn child then I chuffin well will do !

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 24/06/2010 23:29

We throw our KS2 pupils out into the playground to meet parents at the end of day, unsupervised. There is an adult on the gates, loosely checking the traffic flow.

EvilTwins · 24/06/2010 23:31

I took it literally too, but IMO she didn't make it clear that the school has responsibility if she's not home - I also took "until she gets home" literally - as in gets home, through the door. Which in this case, she did. On account of the door being unlocked (and on it goes)

Stop nit-picking with me cory - I didn't read it wrong. The OP didn't make it clear enough for those of us who don't know enough about DCs with sn - those who are lacking in brain cells, those of us who live in "precious neuro-typical worlds" and need to be made to think deeply because of course our lives are just peachy.

toccatanfudge · 24/06/2010 23:31

ah you see Cory I took it in the not quite so literal sense, as in when I go and jump in the shower when DS3 is home with me during the day he is "supervised" - even though he's downstairs pottering around.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 24/06/2010 23:32

And if the child remains in the playground because his parent who usually collects him isn't there do the staff close the door and leave him there?

And would you turf out the children 10 minutes early and leave them to get on with it?

cory · 24/06/2010 23:32

My Yr 5 ds walks home on his own crossing a main road and has done for the last year. (Which is why I would assume that a child that has to have a statement that they can never be left unsupervised must indeed be rather different from him.)

toccatanfudge · 24/06/2010 23:33

Evil - but she did make it clear as the thread went on - it was explained in black and white about the requirement for an actual handover for those of us that live in the (not quite so peachy round these parts) NT world.

EvilTwins · 24/06/2010 23:34

Yes I know - I've already conceded that, about a million trillion times. And I've explained that, given my current knowledge of the full facts, I fully support the OP and do not think she was BU. I'm just getting pissed of at the constant sniping.

toccatanfudge · 24/06/2010 23:35

well yes if once most of the children have left, either on their own or with parents a child is still wandering around an adult will usually spot them and take them in.

Although, they are encouraged (if they don't walk home on their own.........many of them do - or at least walk down to the infanst to meet their parents and younger siblings there) to go back inside once the playground has cleared and their parent hasn't showed up.

There are no teachers in the playground "supervising" children being picked up/leaving the school gates though

toccatanfudge · 24/06/2010 23:36

I thought the sniping was at the exceedingly arrogant poster (note singular) on the thread???

Goblinchild · 24/06/2010 23:36

'And if the child remains in the playground because his parent who usually collects him isn't there do the staff close the door and leave him there?

And would you turf out the children 10 minutes early and leave them to get on with it?'

Uncollected children are supposed to report to the school office and remain there until picked up.
No, I have a hard enough time fitting the curriculum quart into a pint pot as it is, so I can't let them miss 10 mins. Plus there are parents who would not that I'd skived and complain.

borderslass · 24/06/2010 23:36

At the local school once the p1 kids are full time a lot of parents send them there and back again on their own , at the school where dd's went it was completely different mine went on the bus I put them on here and was there to collect them off the bus and the janitor saw them on and off at the other end,If I did collect them from school p1-3[5-7] weren't allowed out without a parent/carer.

thumbwitch · 25/06/2010 00:22

It's worth pointing out (again) for those who still think that the OP should have been home earlier (which is still irrelevant) - that if her bloody bus had come on time, she WOULD have been. And she would have been home before her DP left for work so there would have been no need to leave the door on the latch so she could get in. SO - why are some people still blaming the OP for something that was utterly beyond her control?? Perhaps AC should have put that in the opening post as well so that people who only read the op would have understood it better - but still!

Alouiseg - being dogmatic in the face of all the evidence just makes you look stupid and bigoted tbh.

salsmum · 25/06/2010 01:41

I am not on here to judge if YABU but just wanted to say that my daughter has transport in term time I have to fill out a form sent from local authority every 6 months or so to give 2 or 3 moby numbers that transport can contact me/ex-hubs or current partner in case of an emergency i.e. delay with transport or transport arriving early /emergency etc.... and a neighbour that DD can be left with (trusted widow next door) until i get home in case of any of the above. I think it would be a good idea to familiarise yourself with escort and driver and give an emergency phone number (moby) where they can reach you on and visa-versa. I f you get different drivers/escorts it's worth the time to get to know them when you put your DD on the bus and if your'e unsure if they'll be the same crew at the end of the school day ring up the transport provider and see if there is a number u can use to contact the 'return crew' IYKWIM i hope this makes sense {confused} x

5inthebackofthenet · 25/06/2010 07:05

Alouis, 20 posts in and 4 people agreed with the op, including myself. I wouldn't say the earlier posters have changed their stance to fit in with the majority. And for those people who did change their mind (it is allowed you know) they changed it because it was explained to them what was expected from the transport company, not because they wanted to fit in.

I can't believe the level of ignorance from some posters on here!

borderslass · 25/06/2010 07:36

5inthebackofthenet some of the earlier posts where shockingly bad, whilst I agree she can post where the hell she likes she would of had a lot more sympathy and understanding on the special needs board I am quite disgusted with some people on here.

JessRabbit · 25/06/2010 07:42

Long thread!

I'm not sure what to believe actually. There are a few twists and changes in the story.

Given the day it happened their appears to be more to this than meets the eye.

Doorto door and handover are completely different things but the venom on here is worse than the original problem.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 25/06/2010 07:45

Ladies, people didnt HAVE to agree with me, but they also didnt need to be so downright nasty and ignorant, tho I do see a bit of a pack mentality regarding ignorant thinkers.

Found it funny my 1 frustrated comment was leapt on tbh. Maybe they couldnt handle the truth ??

And the mention of the McCanns was just low.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 25/06/2010 07:47

Only some though borderslass. The majority needed to know a few more specifics of a situation they were unfamiliar with.
There are only a couple who are now very anti and unwilling to listen and think again.
That's why it's a good idea to post in the general population, if you can manage the fact that there will always be a few who will be aggressive.
I bet a lot more people know the criteria for an sn escort service now, and will next time they encounter someone using it. And most will be sympathetic to the idea, and understand the necessity for it.

My lad will be off to college soon, catching trains and interacting with the multitudes.
Educating the NT public by hook or by crook, hopefully in not too an exciting manner.

borderslass · 25/06/2010 07:50

ApocalypseCheese We often leave our door unlocked all our neighbours are brilliant and it is a very safe area,
Also noticed a lot of people are confusing the fact that you say this arrangement has been in place for 6 years with you having a 6 year old dd.
They should be thankful that they don't have to worry about the safety of their children as much as us and others do as they get older.