To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

[ApocalypseCheese]

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

mmmmmmmmmmm still think theres ressponsibility issues in more than 1 area here

can I just keep c&p ing my post......please

Sorry, I should say an NT 6yo.

Seeing an open door and assuming there is someone inside is not on. Otherwise the op's child might just as well hop on the bus.

Nomorebooze, if you stuck to your mumsnet name maybe you would have been able to read the thread properly and noticed that it is a face to face hand over, ie she is supposed to be handed to me directly.

There is help out there, all you have to do is look for it.

OP, I have said that I have now changed my mind, having followed this thread from the beginning, but IF you don't have a full understanding of what your DD's sn entails, and IF you have no understanding of how her school transports works, your OP doesn't make it 100% clear. You say

"DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home."

OK, so if a poster just reads your OP, and doesn't read the whole thread, the assumption (and I made it too) is that the statement covers her until she GETS home. There is no mention, until later, of the adult-to-adult handover clause. Now, I did not realise, and I am sure that many are in the same position, that this was how it is supposed to be done. So whilst you're flinging your accusations of lack of brain cells around, please bear in mind that what YOU take for granted (ie that a child with sn must be passed directly to an adult), and what I fully understand now, having learned it from this thread, is not obvious or a given for someone with no knowledge of sn who happens to come across this thread.

You can't put the onus for knowing about your specific situation on others. Had you put in your OP that the rule is that your DD must be handed over directly to you, then I don't imagine anyone would be questioning that you were NBU.

It's kind of like me posting "AIBU to be annoyed that my buggy wouldn't fit on the bus?" then when people disagree with me, shouting "yeah, but I've got TWINS, thicko".

Please don't tell me that having twins isn't the same as having a DC with sn - I know that - just making the point that if you don't supply all the information (especially on AIBU) you can hardly insult people when they respond in a way you didn't want.

That said, I do NOT think you were unreasonable. Just wanted to say that again before Tiredmum decides to make me her next target.

And I am fortunate to live in an area where it is perfectly safe to leave a door unlocked for 10 minutes. Hell, I could remove the damn door permanently and the only imposter we'd probably get is the neighbours elderly cat.

But that isnt the issue, the issue is/ was the fact that she wasnt handed over to an adult and had in fact been 10 minutes early.

End of.

Eviltwins the op also states that her dd should never be left unsupervised that's enough for me to say that its adult to adult handover my ds is 16 next month and is still not left unless his dad,older sister or I are here to make sure he is safe.

so she could be handed ova to tom dick or harry then?

Yes but my point is that if you don't have DC with sn, you can't KNOW that - she says the statement covers her DD until she GETS HOME. It's only later in the thread where it's made clear that an adult-to-adult handover must happen. Once I knew that, I was able to form a far more informed opinion - that the OP is NBU.

EvilTwins, the second sentence of the OP read "IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety". I would have thought this would have led most people to believe that there was some special reason why this child could not be left unsupervised in the way you would expect from a child her age. You would hardly say that of an NT child, would you, the kind of child who could be trusted with making her own way indoors?

Oh for gawds sake eviltwins, 'the moment she leaves home until the moment she gets home, ie she shouldnt be unsupervised at any time' makes it perfectly clear and you know it.How the hell could it be made any clearer

Honestly, some people

Your post makes sense to me EvilTwins, I still get caught out. I've been living in the Looking Glass World for so long that I sometimes forget what normality is like.
Sometimes the reminder is funny, sometimes it's shocking.
The look on a friend's face when I casually mention something that is completely alien to them...
Or the speed of light preemptive move to prevent disaster that startles some.

If a teacher lets a child out of school when their is no parent on the playground, whose fault is that? Should the teacher not at least make eye contact with the parent?

This is no different - the carer is responsible for the child until they are handed over. She shouldn't have been left to her own devices without the staff member at least checking their was a responsible adult.

OP, YANBU

I read that as - the school is responsible for her til she gets home, and then her parent is responsible for her after that. I didn't interpret that as the escort must hand her directly over to an adult - that's because of my lack of knowledge of sn issues. I have learned from this thread, but I really don't think it's implicit from the OP. It's very clear once you've read on a bit, but obviously people are now coming to this as a long thread, are only reading the OP, are interpreting it as I originally did, offering their opinion based only on the OP and getting told they're thick.

their there - twice!

Thanks Goblin

have fun

You don't need knowledge of SN issues. If it happened to an NT child in the playground it would be wrong too (at primary at least).

AC - sorry, I hope you will remember that I have been on your side from the very get-go - but this thread is now making me roffle. You know I know its not a funny situation, don't you?, but the way it personifies MN has just tickled me. Especially the helpful posts from people who have skipped the first 300+ messages to give us the benefit of their input.

Hang on a moment. When Ds1 and Ds2 are on the bus, the bus driver is responsible for opening the doors and he does not do so until he sees that I have gone up to them. So, despite clearly seeing that you were not at the bus, they opened the doors, saw your dd unbuckle her seatbelt, watched her get off the bus and then let her race into the house.
I don't think they are telling the full story here. But it sounds as though you have sorted things between them.
I really don't see how you can make it any clearer to be honest. Your dd needs to be handed over to a known adult at all times of her school day. She is handed over by you to the escort and bus driver in the morning. The bus driver and escort then hand her over to a teacher. At the end of the school day the teacher hands her over to the bus driver and escort and the escort and bus driver then hand her over to you. NOT to the front door, whether it is open or not.

Nope, no anger issues.

But do have an issue with ignorance, I will only put up with so much.

Yes, EvilTwins, but the OP did say "is never unsupervised for her own safety". Would you really say that of one of your own NT children? I can't imagine saying that of mine, precisely because they do not have this type of SN. I would therefore conclude that if someone did say it it would be because they were in a very different situation from the one I am used to.

smbk - you DO need some knowledge of sn issues. This didn't happen in a playgroup. Have you read the thread?

Oops, playGROUND.