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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

606 replies

ApocalypseCheese · 23/06/2010 17:31

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

OP posts:
silverfrog · 24/06/2010 18:39

really? why on earth?

EvilTwins · 24/06/2010 18:41

Some do it so that they can join in the school-gate cliques, surely.

silverfrog · 24/06/2010 18:44

oh yes, can see that.

but not this "you have to be there more than 10 minutes early otherwise you're practically late" message that has been coming across on this thread.

since when was 10 minutes cutting it fine?

toccatanfudge · 24/06/2010 18:45

I@m not sure ET on that ET.

I often used to get back from town (past the school to my house next door) and there would be a smattering of parents stood outside the inside gates..........not really talking to each other and certainly not any of the ones that I see ti be in the "in" crowds

Goblinchild · 24/06/2010 18:45

'And I repeat, anybody who thinks that makes me a neglectful parent can shove their head up their own arse and boil it !'

Now I'm happy that you posted in AIBU, you are robust enough to cope! I've never restricted myself to discussing sn only in the designated corner, in the same way that my son happily calls himself an Aspie and is comfortable with it rather than feeling pigeonholed.
I'm sorry that I pissed of silverfrog too.
I just think that AIBU is a bearpit, shark tank cage fight sort of arena for asking questions in. I know that some have said it shouldn't be, but it really is.
So anyone with an sn child needs to have flameproof knickers and an ability to deal with a certain level of aggressive ignorance or it just adds to the extra crap that we deal with every day and doesn't help at all.
So AC, post where you like, you can obviously deal with all comers. [cheering emoticon]

toccatanfudge · 24/06/2010 18:48

pah - you think you come anywhere near to getting the neglectful parenting award.........you're miles off the mark missus

silverfrog · 24/06/2010 18:49

not pissed off, goblinchild - just annoyed that posters think it is ok to jump in with half-baked assumptions because it is posted in AIBU

I agree, sadly, that you do need flameproof knickers. I was just saying I wish it wasn't so... (especially since there was rarely a clearer case of OP NBU [grin})

EvilTwins · 24/06/2010 18:49

I always assumed that would be the only conceivable reason. The dreadful mums at the dreadful playgroup my DTDs used to go to all did exactly that. Which is the main reason I will not be turning up 10 minutes early to pick them up when they start school in Septmeber.

Schoolgate mums...

toccatanfudge · 24/06/2010 18:55

ahhh now to be fair to some of us silvefrog - I go back justabouts point 1 further up the thread.

silverfrog · 24/06/2010 19:00

no, I get that, toccata. (I was in two minds as to whether to respond to goblin, as didn't want to drag it all up again, but didn't want her thinking I was annoyed with her!)

honestly, my origianl post was more aimed at the people who were piling in and were insistent the OP was BU, more because it was posted in AIBU.

I can see how people posted what they did (although I do think there was enough info in the OP to see that this was not a "normal" school bus arrangement), and yes, a lot of you have read through, taken stuff on board, thought about it and changed oyur mind.

I think I was musing that sometimes, when key words like ASD are in the OP, it might be worth thinking it through beofre leaping in (not saying you did, but some certainly did)

Goblinchild · 24/06/2010 19:08

'I was in two minds as to whether to respond to goblin, as didn't want to drag it all up again, but didn't want her thinking I was annoyed with her!'

It's appreciated, thank you.

silverfrog · 24/06/2010 19:11
Smile
Tiredmumno1 · 24/06/2010 19:17

I take it alouise ran for the hills

ILovePlayingDarts · 24/06/2010 19:30

IMO, turning up as the same time as the transport is cutting it fine. And I speak as one who frequently gets home from work and parks outside the house (which is 1 minute walk from dcs school) at about 3:14, when the school chucks 'em out at 3:15. I can't get home any earlier due to nature of work.

5 mins early is acceptable as far as I'm concerned, needing to ensure you're home 20 mins earlier than the normal drop off time is OTT, IMO

Alouiseg · 24/06/2010 21:33

Ran for the hills? I clarified that I stood by what I said and spent a lovely rl evening at the school summer concert.

Do you really want me reiterating my points every few posts?

Thought not, as you were.

Tiredmumno1 · 24/06/2010 21:57

And alouise does everyone need to keep explaining to you about statements and how they work, and that its legally binding.

the fact is the carer did not see an adult, therefore they are being negligent. which part of that did you not understand.

so we are all wrong and you are right

so as you were my dear.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 24/06/2010 22:08

Alouiseg is busy trying to shove her head up her own arse, I am more than willing to help with the boiling process.

OP posts:
Alouiseg · 24/06/2010 22:09

Unlike the rest of the earlier posters I don't change my stance to fit in with the majority.

They're like Italy during the war.

Tiredmumno1 · 24/06/2010 22:12

cheesey

so alouise you are saying you stand by your statement that cheesey should be grateful.

if thats the case you are a sick individual, you should be bloody ashamed.

Tiredmumno1 · 24/06/2010 22:13

Oh and grow up. heaven forbid you ever end up in that situation.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/06/2010 22:13

So you are saying that the escort did not have the responsibility, under the rules of handover - which are a set down, written down, formal procedure, well known in sn, to actually hand over?

I think that's the bit that people are finding hard to understand your pov on. Leave aside the she should have been in, door should be locked, etc, etc. The rules of handover are well set out in many documents. Surely that is worth your acknowledgement?

Tiredmumno1 · 24/06/2010 22:16

And the earlier posters aint as thick as you. they actually understood as more details emerged.

shame you cant obviously take in to much info in one hit.

2shoes · 24/06/2010 22:16

Alouiseg i am sure you arn't stupid.
it has been explained to you why the op was upset, so why can you not see it.
do you just like saying you are right??

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 24/06/2010 22:18

That's because you are an idiot woman.

An idiot who seems to think people who have special needs children, adults, pit ponies or whatever to care for should be 'grateful' for a so called 'bespoke'people delivery service !

And I will say again, I pay for my 'bespoke' service, it is not free.

Oooohhhh, I bet you think people who need wheelchairs should be grateful for accesible toilets and everyfink.

Idiot.

OP posts:
Alouiseg · 24/06/2010 22:19

Any sympathy I may have had in the beginning was tempered by op's rudeness and belligerence towards anyone who dared to think she was bu.

If you give it, be prepared to take it.