To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

[ApocalypseCheese]

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

Weetabix -- you see, that's the thing. It doesn't seem unreasonable to most people to drop off a large 11-yr-old at their door, whether they appear to have a carer on hand or not. Very few of us would do the same with a tiny child. But with a child with complex needs, you HAVE to look past the outward appearance.

2shoes - I don't warrant being congratulaed.....I'm not the only one to have changed my mind during the thread just the only one with no life so still here as we go round again

For those that think that the OP was at fault and that the escort people had done enough letting the daughter into the house, the duty of care of the escort is to the child. It is irrelevant whether AC was not there because she was just doing other things in the 10 minutes she presumed she had spare, or because she was injured, or because she'd decided to give it all up and go tap dancing in Bavaria. The escort should not have let the child go in the house without checking there was a known and trusted adult there.

Just read this thread from start to finish. I don't get why people are so hasty in apportioning blame. Its like "Oh I'm so clever I'll be devils advocate!"
Parenthood is difficult enough, even more so with kids with sn.
I just hope op does not encounter such a situation again.

To clarify the front door was shut but not locked, it's a handle thingy. There are plenty of spare keys in the house which are of no use to me as i'd lost mine whilst out, dp left for work at 3.00 and I arrived home at 3.10.

So to summarise Alouiseg if you think me leaving my front door unlocked for 10 minutes makes me an unfit mother then so be it, your opinion means zero, in fact you can shove your head up your arse and boil it !

AC - hope you get a chance to work out what happened yesterday when your DD gets dropped off today. And that she's all right, no lasting effects.

Agree with your sentiments, btw.

AC don't let alouiseg bother you. You can see how abhorrent everyone has found her comments. I've left my door open for a lot longer than that The idea that that could make me an unfit mother is frankly ludicrous.

Maybe alouise does not understand the concept of being statemented.

if you didnt understand why not ask?

so lets see alouise, DO YOU KNOW WHAT A STATEMENT IS?

Tiredmum - she probably think it's something that people think they're "entitled" to

CLIT (it's the new LOL don't ya know )

tocc.

i wonder if we get an answer.

she's probably googling it as we speak

I'd've commented on the CLIT thread but I've been too busy laughing at lamebook all day. I never got past that link.

STFU is fabulous isn't it - need to have a sense of humour to read it if you're a parent though

naughty hijackers! Have now discovered what CLIT means, tocc - took a while.

AC - how'd you go with the escort today? ANy news? Is DD ok?

I was one of the posters at the beginning who thought the OP was definitely BU to blame the escort when it was in fact her responsibility to be at home. However, having read the whole thread, I am going to join in the change-of-opinioners. I don't think I fully understood (and I would say that it wasn't clear) that the OP's DD was supposed to be handed over from one adult to another, rather than it just being the escort's duty to make sure she gets safely home (ie inside her house) Now I have fully understood the facts, I don't think the OP is BU at all.

I'm a teacher, and, now I come to think of it, I've been in the situation (only twice, luckily) where I've brought children (secondary children, at that) home from a theatre visit and their parents have been late picking them up. One parent was nearly half an hour late. Of course I stayed with the child - I wouldn't just say "I've brought you back to school - that's as far as my duty goes".

So apologies, OP - I do still think it was a bit silly to leave the door unlocked, I do still think you ought to have been home with time to spare (SN or no SN - and I do wonder (though I'll get shot down in flames for this) how you were held up by traffic when the school transport was early because of lack of traffic), but the escort was totally at fault for not handing your DD over into the care of another adult.

I hope you got an apology and that the transport provider will think a bit more carefully about this in future.

the bus was there early because it had far fewer drop offs than usual, not lack of traffic.

Re the unlocked door. I may be wrong, but my understanding of the various posts is that the op lost her key during the trip out. So presumeably she left the house with a key, but came back to find dp had left door unlocked and dd home all on one afternoon. If so I can't clame Op for the unlocked door.

Evil - she washome with time to spare for the usual drop of time

Yes I know. I have now said that I agree the escort was at fault. Still, I'm not the only one who thinks she was cutting it fine with the timings.

ILPD - she was aware that her DP had to leave the door open for her.

I think there's an awful lot Alouiseg does not understand.

10 minutes is plenty of time, I live next door to a school and it's like a damn steeplechase at 3.30 quite simply because the mums have other children to pick up.

There was only one other child on the bus, i'm guessing a few had left early for the football, I didnt say the bus was late because of traffic, it was simply late for whatever reason, maybe a breakdown ?? As it happens the roads were dead, again probably because of the football.

So to clarify, yesterday I went out to buy some shopping, pay bills etc, sis phoned up and asked me to pick up her dds prescription, fine no problem had plenty of time, nipped to bank to get money out for builders, found i'd lost my key and asked dp to leave door unlocked when he left for work at 3.00 then ended up waiting 30 minutes for a bus which usually arrives in 10 mins, totally out of my control, and I quite reasonably believed i'd have been home with time to spare. I would have been if she'd been home at the usual time.

But the point still remains, she should NOT have been unattended by the adult in charge during my absence.

And I repeat, anybody who thinks that makes me a neglectful parent can shove their head up their own arse and boil it !

None of

can I ask, out of genuine curiosity (dd1 is at school, but SN school, and timings are a bit flexi, tbh )- what time do people usually arrive at school to pick up children?

other than for parking issues, do people really turn up more than 10 minutes early? every day? even when it's raining/hailing/snowing?

I don't understand the cutting t fine - OP said he was inplenty of time but a few things happened to stall her (bus gettig stuck being only one), and she still arrived 10 mins early.

I don't think I'm ever more than 10 minutes early to pick dd1 up...

So, AC, what did you say to them at drop off time this afternoon?

oh yes - some do turn up over 10 minutes early come any weather (used to live next door to the school).

Personally.............I'm lucky if I get through the school gates and round to DS2's classroom before the rest of his class have been let out