To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

[ApocalypseCheese]

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

Yanbu - I would be really cross if it was my dd.

YANBU they do have a duty of care, I am plesaed we have a sociery that allows for safe transportation for special needs

I would only advise, lose the heads will roll anger! you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so by all means reprimand them firmly but dont lose it!

Should add that I have also had real trouble with drivers wanting to alter the times of pickups/dropoffs at no notice without going through the LEA. Very bad idea in our case as dd selfharms if stressed in the mornings. But driver clearly sees it as an opportunity to fit extra fares in. Again, I blame the LEA for not being clear with the taxi firm and/or the taxi firm for not being clear with the driver.

In your case, Apocalypse, I would ask the LEA to have a word with the firm and telling them they have to explain the nature of your dd's SN and its implications to the driver.

Ive had escort problems before, i had one who turned up on two different occasions telling my son to behave as she had a hangover! The second time ds's godparents were with us and insisted i told Edu T. When they next dropped ds off(end of summer term) we had a screaming row in the street when they said "we hear that you dont like the way we look after your child" i turned round and calmly said "im sorry i wasnt brought up to scream at people in the street" and walked into my house. I rang Edu Transport and told them that ds would be walking to school in Kent before he got in a taxi with them! He was in new transport the following term.

Did you get to speak to them AC?

Mavis, could you ask the transport to drop your DD off at your DS school?

i posted earlier but just anted to add that is why i am my sons official escort bevaus of troubke we had with previous escort and driver telling lies aboot my ds who was having major problems at the time saying he was fine etc etc when in fact as we were informed by school he was trying to get out the taxi doors , being fed on haribo sweets to shut him up(escort admitted this) and generally getting more an more stressed. WQhen i confronted escort and river about this escort said she didnt want to lose her wee job so didnt want to tell me. when i became his escort she was fuming but i didnt care my ds comes before anyone

sorry about the spelling, getting carried away

YABU, there could have been a stranger in your house being the door was not secure. Just think of the consequences, I think you should let this one go. After all, you should have been there to meet her.

Weetabix, exactly, there could have been someone in her house. Thats why she is annoyed that the Escort just allowed her into the house without making sure she was with a known adult!

AC has already explained the bus was far earlier than normal, she was 10 minutes earlier home than the drop off time but was "late" because of traffic. These things do happen.

The Escort should have still handed over the child to an adult, regardless of if the door was open or not.

My good God. A certain poster has made a right TIT of herself on here, hasn't she? What an ignorant $%^&*@.

Had a chat with the morning escort, said I was aware that the door being unlocked was my fault etc however it is, and always has been a face to face handover and in future I need to be informed if the bus is going to be early/late.

Will be having the same chat this afternoon with the lady who drops her off.

Apocalypse, glad you've had a word. It's something that definitely needs to be stated again.

I'm glad your DD is ok too.

YANBU. As many have said, a handover means just that.

You can't make any assumptions with the care of someone vulnerable.

What if someone had broken in?
What if you had been inside and injured?
What if you had forgotten to lock the door and had had an accident in town?
What if you had been in the back garden and your dd had walked straight back out the front door?
What if someone had been in your house because you left the door open? (and I live in the same sort of place, a headline in the local paper once was "Outrage as residents find their Gnomes turned around" - I shit you not, our teenagers don't even smash or steal them, they just turn them around)

You cannot assume an adult is present unless they are standing in front of you.

I hope this doesn't happen again.

I hope you got an apology cheesey.

YANBU but twas daft to post about it on AIBU.

blinks - I don't get why it was daft to post in AIBU, actually.

Just because a post is in AIBU, doesn't mean posters can ignore the facts, make up ridiculous reasons why the OP was BU, and write utter drivel about "sense of entitlement" and "bespoke services"

THe fact is, the OP was NOT being unreasonable.

THe fact she was home a bit later than usual is neither here nor there - she was home before her dd's drop off time. She wasn't the one that changed that drop off time - she couldn't be home in time for something she didn't know was happening.

And apart form that - she could have been in, and on the loo - as previous poster just said, what exactly was stopping the OP's dd from turning around and walking back out of the house?

The most relevant fact here is that Transport services has a duty to physically hand over the child to a parent/designated adult. and they didn't do that.

there is no way AT ALL that anyone can say the OP was being unreasonable - but as is often the case on MN, why let the facts get in the way of a good flaming?

for those saying the op should be home for school finishing time - do you think her DD is teleported home??

she was there 10 minutes before the earliest she's ever been dropped off in the last 6 years! that should be more than good enough.

presumably we had world cup hysteria 4 years ago too? and her DD wasn't early then?

just out of curiosity, do you have a written contract with the company?
Their side is to do a personal handover, yours is - what? to be available for that to happen between certain times?

I asked that last night, SPB - funnily enough I didn't get an answer (re materialising on the doorstep the second after school finishes)

honestly, sometimes it really does seem as though posters are just looking for reasons to be nasty.

i agree with you SF and said YANBU.

AIBU almost always ends this way so as OP pointed out waaay at the beginning, she'd have been wiser posting it elsewhere.

What were they supposed to do? They got her home safely. Do they formally hand her over to you or just leave her at the door?

I know you agreed OP was NBU.

BUt I hate this "oh, you should know better than to post in AIBU" attitude.

AIBU is a perfectly reasonable questionto ask. It is not one that automatically assumes the vitriol and downright bitching that so often occurs.

Do you know what is really sad about all this? the amount of posters over on the SN board who only post in SN, because to post elsewhere means the ridiculous type of comments that have appeared here.

Why is it that posters, in general, cannot actually take half a second to absorb the facts of a situation, and then imagine walking a mile in OP (any OP, not just htis one) shoes?

I find it really disheartening that so many posters, with SN children, self-restrictin this way.

says a lot about general accptance of other people's difficulties, imo

Orm, OP has said several times that transport services are supposed ot personally hand over.

her dd is not safe ot be left without supervision.

Well said, Silverfrog.

I also hate this attitude AIBU = bunfight.

Have only read half the thread but come on guys - this is a no-brainer! Of COURSE the transport people should have waited until there was someone at home so they could make sure the OPs DD was handed over to an adult.

My (NT) DD has been going to school by taxi since she was 4, and they wil ALWAYS make sure that there's someone at home to meet the kids at the end of the day. My neighbour was late back once, and they waited - clearly they weren't pleased, and she was mortified, but they did the right thing.

It's the same as collecting your DCs at the end of school - they should wait for you (whilst swearing under their breath), and if you don't turn up within a reasonable time then they call SS - they don't just leave the kids by the side of the road!

I agree Silverfrog. I would hate to think that this sort of thing means parents of children with SN feel they can't post elsewhere. I don't have to deal with a bus service like this, but it was very clear that Apocalypse's dd's carers had a duty of care to her that they did not fulfill. Regardless of whether she was not home due to an unavoidably issue or was too busy gossiping with a friend whilst having her highlights done, those looking after her dd should have stayed with her until the handover occured.

They would then have been perfectly within their rights to have a word with the OP about making sure she was home earlier.