To feel annoyed trees were cut down to print this anti-breastfeeding article

[cherrymama]

In the latest edition of Mother and Baby magazine (I bought it for the free gift) the deputy editor has an article about breastfeeding. In it she says that she "couldn't be fagged" to breastfeed and that breastfeeding her newborn using breasts that had previously been used for sex would feel "creepy". And that even the health benefits of breastfeeding "wouldn't induce her to stick her nipple in her bawling baby's mouth."

I think her attitude is horrible! I understand many people try to breastfeed and don't manage, but to say that it is creepy is another thing.

"I think it's great to see someone writing about her personal feelings on breastfeeding. Soooooo much angst and negative feelings of 'second-best' attached to the BF propaganda lobby's tactics."

BF propaganda?

FM IS second best for babies. Fact. It doesn't mean it's bad, or wrong, or will cause harm. It is just second best for babies - from a health point of view.

FF may be best for some parents and therefore for their babies if the parents are happier FF (on the basis that usually happier parents = happier babies).

But it doesn't change the fact that BM is the best food for babies' health. Propaganda = untruths or contortion of the truth. These are facts.

There is a good reason why people "lobby" on behalf of breastfeeding and it's not to make FF parents feel bad.

thethersend, clearly I should get out more and grow a harder skin and stop being so bloody sensitive...

Ticktockclock, you said: 'Harranguing women about their choice to FF is never going to advance BF in a positive way.'

Quite true and neither is saying offensive things about BFing in the media; whether it is someone's personal opinion or not.

Yes, we live in a democratic society but actually, this doesn't mean we always have to support others' decisions. Many of us do, fortunately, but clearly this journalist doesn't.

Re. the 52% of women stopping BFing by 6 weeks...the main reason given by women for this is 'not enough milk', rather than 'couldn't be fagged'.

'FF is poisoning their children' - Well that would be an out and out lie. FF does not poison children and to say so would be unacceptable. If someone said that they though FF was creepy then that would be their opinion and they would be entitled to express it. I would have no problem with that.

Everyone that states they have a problem with the term 'creepy' invalidates what this woman has felt. Many women do not think it is creepy or feel this way and that is fine, but this woman did feel that way and whether others like it or not many women have similar feelings about breastfeeding. By complaining about the way someone has expressed their feelings about an issue that is so obviously very emotional is harranguing them.

This article does not sneer at women who choose to breastfeed, she did not say I think that women who breastfeed are creepy or that breastfeeding is wrong or formula is better. She said nothing of the sort, there is alot of reading between the lines going on here. What she said was how SHE felt (no-one else) what HER choice was and the reasons why SHE made the choice she did. She is entitled to put across her opinion and feelings on what she chose to do and it is fine because it supports many other women who have similar feelings.

I didn't say that tiktok, and it is unfair of you to suggest I did.

I am merely stating that one's own views have a bearing as to how the tone of the article comes across.

As I previously said, had the article used the same language to describe something I felt passionately about, I would find the tone nasty, just as so many on this thread have.

Apropos dangly norks, I fed for a grand total of 8.5 years over a 10yr periods. Mine still pass the pencil test at 45yrs of age. So that concern is so much toss.

I also drank whilst bfing - not huge amounts but regularly.

I will admit to my nipples losing some sensitivity during the period I was feeding but I could live with that.

What bothers me about this article is that a lot of women reading who wanted to try it will feel put off because of the 'reasons' she lists, and those who weren't keen will feel more secure in their own prejudices to the extent they won't even try. Which may in turn give them ammunition to express their own prejudices to other new mothers.

If she had said 'I struggled with bfing and didn't feel as if it was worth persevering given the difficulties I experienced' it would have been different. But she didn't. She made unpleasant derogatory remarks.

""You suggest that BF supporters should concentrate their efforts encouraging and supporting those that want and choose to bf"

But if you weren't sure and were considering it, an article of this nature might well make up your mind for you.

No an article of this nature would not make up my mind for me, I am not a sheep and I like to think that most women are not.

She is entitled to express her opinion and others are entitled to think her opinion is completely wrong/stupid etc.

The joys of free speech.

Finding breastfeeding creepy is creepy.

On these threads when people pull out terms like "breastfeeding propaganda" etc. I always wonder what they think people have to gain from promoting breastfeeding? There is no money to be made, nothing for the supporter/propagandist to receive if they encourage someone to breastfeed.

The same cannot be said for formula promotion, plenty of people gain plenty of wealth from feeding babies formula, quite nicely taking that wealth from the pocket of struggling mothers.

I am honestly asking the question here, what possibly ulterior motive could someone have for talking about/promoting breastfeeding?

I agree with Morloth

I'm trying to work out exactly what she means by creepy. Dictionary definition:

creep·y (krp)
adj. creep·i·er, creep·i·est Informal

1. Of or producing a sensation of uneasiness or fear, as of things crawling on one's skin: a creepy feeling; a creepy story.
2. Annoyingly unpleasant; repulsive: the creepy kids next door.

So does she mean it makes her skin crawl? Or that she actually finds it repulsive? Repulsion is quite a strong emotion, but it's still valid if she feels it. I found the sensation of giving birth repulsive, as it happens.

hey OP - i read this article with utter disgust too. my aunt bought me a subscription for M&B as a gift but tbh i will be glad when it runs out. i complained about an article last month which they said they would print and didn't (it was the one claiming men dont want extra paternity leave) i read the 'i bottle fed - so what' and it made my blood boil but i really can't be fagged as it were to waste my time complaining about it.

People who are over the top about breastfeeding do not have anything to gain other than increasing numbers in their cause.

However women who cannot breastfeed for any multitude of reasons (and there are many, many women who cannot) are made to feel less than women who can, lesser mothers, failures, and admonished. This is not an acceptable way to treat other mothers who are unable to BF or choose not to BF.

I know many, many friends who were unable to do so who spent many hours in tears, feeling like horrible mothers, feeling like incomplete women because of how pro-bf women have spoken to them, expressed their views and made them feel. I breastfed for a short period of time, it did not work for me for many, many reasons, I am no less of a mother or woman. Women should support each other in this choice. I have no problem whatsoever with women that bf or that make that choice nor do I have any problem with women that ff. Unfortunately here-in lies the problem with the bf camp they do not support women who ff. This is a sad reflection of women.

"supposed health benefits"

yeah, if 15,000 studies about the various supposed health benefits are not enough to convince you then you are offically too stupid to voice an opinion about them in public.

its just the tone of the daft cow. 'i bottle fed and it worked out fine' with an aritcle about how it allowed others to help etc (whatever the other ff benefits are) would be totally fine. an article called 'bf was really great and not as hard as i expected' would be even better.

imo, M&B isn't very pro baby, let alone pro bf.

i wonder if they'd let me submit an article - its called 'i bf, even though i don't 'look like the type'' (something my daft hv said to me once

But why would they want to increase numbers to whose benefit?

Health benefits is kind of odd as well if you think about it.

Human animals are supposed to feed their young human milk, feeding a human infant the milk of a cow can't be as good. It isn't so much that breastfeeding has benefits, more that FF has detriments.

Women feeling shit about this and not wanting to hear it doesn't change the facts.

I had to stop bf my dd for 24 hours when I had a contrast dye injected to scan my kidneys

I could say that having to feed her with a bottle felt weird and unnatural, and I imagined that if that was how I always had to feed her, we probably wouldn't have such a strong bond, nor would she be such a happy baby

I could say that when I ran out of ebm to give her and had to give her a ff I wasn't surprised when she sicked it up almost immediately - it was no way as good as what she normally had and it was obvious

I could add that I then felt pity for those babies who only ever had this 'adequate' foodstuff

See, I could say these things, but it would be emotive, hurtful and pointless, and a real dig at other women and the situations they found themself in

a lot kinder to just say 'yup, had to use bottles, wasn't for me'

Disclaimer I don't actually think any of that stuff, just used it for rhetorical purposes

Well I guess that if you are blind or deaf you can hear or see and those are the facts so it's ok if you feel shit and so you should!! Seriously??

The facts are also many women CANNOT breastfeed, those are facts as well. That is why we have formula, so babies are fed the closest development that we have to human breastmilk. FF babies also grow and thrive. Generations were brought up on formula only and seem to be doing fine. If you can breastfeed and it is what you want to do then GREAT go for it, that is the best choice. However if you can't bf and it dosen't work for you there is another option available. You are still a mother and woman and you are not 'shit'.

But why are there so many women in the UK who can't? I don't get it.

The numbers are much higher here than in say Australia. Where I grew up everyone breastfed, most people were really poor and there wasn't any other option so they did it.

What is so different here if not the promotion and acceptance of FF?

There can't be that many physical differences from the people where I grew up and the people here.

?I breast fed. So what?? In which a mother chose to breastfeed from birth because ?I wanted my body back to normal quicker and I also wanted to give my boobs at least chance to do the job they were designed to do. Imagining seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby with a bottle teat shoved in it's mouth feels, well, a little creepy. I don?t think I?m the only one, either ? 52% of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn?t be fagged about making up bottles, sterilising etc.

?Breastfeeding: the most natural thing in the world. - JUST IMAGINE THE OUTCRY IF IT HAD BEEN WRITTEN THIS WAY!!

yeh but tiktock - the article isn't about being unable to bf its about actively choosing not to for imo quite weak reasons.

linden - love it - send it in!!

"But why are there so many women in the UK who can't? I don't get it."

How do you say not that many women physically can't without insinuating that the ones that failed didn't try hard enough?