to try to find a full time out of the house job asap so I don't have to entertain my two DSs alone for 8 weeks over the summer?

[livethedream]

They are nearly 2 and nearly 4. DS is usually at playgroup 5 mornings awake but it's a training day today so they're both at home together.

Oh my god, they fight. It is so tedious, I am just constantly refereeing between them - no matter what games/activities I set up, they bicker and argue and physically hurt each other. DS1 sneakily tries to hit his brother or tread on his toes whereas DS2 retaliates by biting him so hard it nearly breaks the skin.

There will be 8 weeks between DS1 finishing playgroup and starting school. If we were minted and DH didn't work we could have a lovely time. But here in the real world it's just me and I'm skint and it's going to be a real struggle to think of somethign free to do every single day for 8 weeks. That's 56 days.

I have no idea if I could find a job that would pay enough to put them both with a childminder all summer but my god, I woudl probably run at a loss to get out of 8 whole weeks of these two.

Does this make m e a terrible mother? My mother thinks I should savour every second as these are the best years ever, which I find a bit demoralising. (And it rankles, as she ran off when me and my brother were this age!)

Just spotted Rollmops on this thread. I've said it before - I always find her posts very funny. Obviously not the ones where she is trying to be funny, as she doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humour, but the "bitchy" ones:

"foureleven, you nailed it. Clever girl[pats back]. Off you go now. "

and

"cold titz, come again.....?[whaaaat in earth was she trying to say with her little rant emoticon]"

Is it just me?

fyimate - you know nothing about my life so you have no idea whether or not I got a "proper upbringing."

Thank you Smith and lorelilee. We're just back from the park and a good run around always helps.

catinthehat - I'm not sure funny's quite the word...

Oh, how sweet, dear, so you do seem to live vicariously. Or do I have a little stalker?
I wish I could return the 'compliment', but you see, I don't find you funny. At all. Sorry again.

LOLOLOL

Er no, not stalking, you're not THAT funny, just noticed you on the same thread!

"Oh, how sweet, dear, so you do seem to live vicariously." very good!

Keep going! I shall dip in now & again to see how you are getting on.

Livethe..., would 'patronising' or 'smug' do?
Happy to help out you see...

You do that if it makes you feel better. [yaaawn]

Well I was actually going to say you sound like a bad mother for wanting to dump YOUR kids on a stranger just so you dont have to deal with them, they do learn their behaviour from the one they are with most.
You did create them, deal with them. Oh and word of advice, dont have anymore if you cant deal with the ones you have now. And tbh I dont care what attacks I get for saying that. It MY opinion. Sue me.

I love my DS.

I loathe the summer holidays.

Eight weeks of just us would drive us both insane.

I book him in 2 days a week (at least) into a play scheme. Realise this might not be do-able for tinies, but I bet there are at least some half-day activity things you can book for the elder one.

Oh, and we have our annual holiday in the second week of the holiday, and go away for the August bank holiday weekend, which breaks up the tedium (ie, 1 week at home, 1 week away, 3 weeks at home, 1 week with away in it, 1 week at home). Makes it seem more manageable.

If I could get a job, I would.

Not a terrible mother, no.

I completely understand the tedium of 8 weeks of relentless pre-schooler activities. And I'm a fabulous mother, have medals and everything. But, OP, you sound a bit desperate. On the extreme side of normal. Are you okay? If you were my friend, I'd be a little worried about you.

The suggestions to get out more are good and I think that will help you to better enjoy the days spent with your DCs. And these things are always worse in anticipation - ime, things I dread are never as bad when they actually happen.

wow, I really seem to be attracting all the random judgemental nutters to this thread. Glad you manage to make all these assumptions based on absolutely no knowledge of anything. fyi - you might want to think about your reaction to this thread/me and what's making you respond like that.

AvengingGerbil - you loathe the summer holidays? Clearly like me you must have had an incorrect upbringing and be a shit mother.

I've had enough of this thread actually, thanks to everyone who's been supportive but I don't really need the kind of abuse I seem to be attracting.

Live - don't worry about it, there's a lot of people who get what you are on about, and quite a few good suggestions.

And you've brought out my favourite comedy poster as well, so thanks for that! ("[yaaawn]" )

(cat - I can't work out if she's a troll, or completely barking, or both!)

woof every time I should think

catinthehat - are you playing phrase bingo again?

livethedream - most parents get fed up with the DCs sometimes, don't worry about it. There is some good advice here. I try and have something to do everyday - that might be something special like a trip out but often if can just be something like a friend coming over or a bug hunt, or the paddling pool. You'll be fine.

thank you isthatporridge. I was feeling a bit low this morning and a couple of posters on here made me question myself and feel like shit.

Should probably add that my style is quite flippant and getting a job is probably not really an option at the moment, just wishful thinking but obviously that has rubbed some people up the wrong way.

ANyway, am done defending myself now. Off out again with my poor unfortunate offspring.

Riven you are totally not. Am in awe of you actually.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, livethedream ...whatever abuse you've got on here, you've made me feel a whole lot better about my darker thoughts!

I find that the more I parent, the better I get at it. So thursday morning is awful (I work Mon-Wed), but by Friday lunchtime I'm actually producing something like competency.

What helps me: a routine. this is for me as much as them: it just helps me to have a plan in place, that I can then change a bit if necessary. Also: breaking up the time with small activities. Going out. Telly ;) Small treats at set times ("Oh, I don't think X wants their 11 o'clock biscuit because they're hitting their brother with a lorry! Only boys who play nicely get their 11 o'clock biscuit!" etc bloody etc). And do do do DO lower expectations re state of house and nutrition. If you feel bad about he biscuit, make it a Hobnob. That's almost porridge, you know.

Try to enjoy it. Grit your teeth and SWEAR to yourself that you will enjoy it for at least an hour a day. They're only children, however exhausting and irritating they can be. I remember my mum being miserable all the time and of course kids think it's their fault (well, the older ones do, unless they become immune to it).

Your local authority would've had masses to do, but all fun will be cancelled by Tories in forthcoming budget.

Anther shit mother with an incorrect upbringing here. A lone mother without support, I loath the summer holidays too.

I find it odd that women are on the one hand encouraged on MN to stretch their intellect and improve their circumstances and yet on the other livethedream is vilified for wanting more to life than being a mother and for finding dealing with fighting, bored children on a daily basis a miserable, thankless task.

Sisterly support eh?

Never believed in it myself anyway.

at Riven.

Where are you, btw? If you're in the Midlands, I have a few cheap days out I could recommend.

lol druzhok. Glad I cheered you up!

Valhalla yup, struggling with that paradox myself. Also booking myselef in for a hysterectomy to please fyimate prevent anymore shitmothering. (That should be turned into a verb in it's own right, I think.)

Riven - how the hell anyone would cope with 3 under 3 is beyond me.

I've had enough of this thread actually, thanks to everyone who's been supportive but I don't really need the kind of abuse I seem to be attracting.

WHAT DID YOU ERXPECT WOMAN!!!!! had you posted "dreading the looong holidays, any ideas" it would have been a different response I guess. but then you probably would not have had so many replies???

nonethless there are some good ideas on here so I hope you get to enjoy them and make plans for you too