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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

not to be attracted to any grown man who regularly plays a computer game

155 replies

secunda · 21/06/2010 00:06

I just can't. Challenging the kids on the Wii on Boxing Day is one thing, but spending a significant amount of time immersing oneself in an imaginary world, and not even in a constructive way as reading a book is [says she, covering arse]. It's so immature. World of Warcraft, ProEvo, all tedious and unattractive time-sucks imo. If DP spent hours doing it, as some men seem to, it would be a dealbreaker (he doesn't play them at all)

AIBU?

OP posts:
Rockbird · 21/06/2010 00:09

YABU. Why are games any different to slumping in front of the TV? Or reading a book? Or knitting?

And more fool you if you'd give up on a partner because he played computer games. (DH doesn't btw but my brother does and he's a top bloke)

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 21/06/2010 00:09

I'm a WoW widow, so couldn't possibly comment.

DSM · 21/06/2010 00:09

YABU.

Why is it different than reading a book?

Me and dp both play computer games, and read a lot. But we're geeks.

Colliecross · 21/06/2010 00:09

YANBU

MavisEnderby · 21/06/2010 00:11

Erm if your dh doesn't do it then fairplay.I guess as long as it doesn't take over ones life and interfere with day to day stuff then its ok.

my dp was a muso and obsessed with playing stuff and writing music.

i guess men need their hobbies,as long as it is not all consuming then it is ok

emptyshell · 21/06/2010 00:11

Fine, all the more men for the rest of us.

I'm a gamer and a geek, my husband's a gamer and a geek too - he's the most kind, intelligent, gentle, generous man you'd ever hope to come across. If you're so small-minded as to judge people by virtue of their pastimes before even getting to know them - you miss out on a heck of a lot of the nice people in the world. Surprisingly - he also reads books, has a degree, does housework - he (and me) both just tend to play games to unwind rather than stare idly into the TV for hours on end.

If you want to sit on your high horse and pat yourself on the back for being better than someone else - that just makes you a snob.

secunda · 21/06/2010 00:12

They're not the same as reading a book or watching the telly. People get quite 'addicted' to them, and spend hours on them. They also seem to block out what's going on around them in a way that people don't when reading. It just seems so teenage.

OP posts:
Tombliboob · 21/06/2010 00:13

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MavisEnderby · 21/06/2010 00:14

When i had time for reading i used to block out the world when engaged in a good plotline,lol

Colliecross · 21/06/2010 00:15

But it's a pretend world and the player presumably is a pretend hero?
I don't think that's the same as writing music is it? That's a creative skill that not everyone has?

DSM · 21/06/2010 00:15

Have you ever even played one?

Strange opinion, TBH.

It's no different than watching tv or films, reading, writing, listening to music, playing an instrument, talking on the phone, or say... Being on an online chat forum.

Tombliboob · 21/06/2010 00:15

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diplodoris · 21/06/2010 00:15

YABU. That's the point of most hobbies, they're not "useful" and most other people won't be interested in the same thing.

emptyshell · 21/06/2010 00:15

And you seem like quite a nasty bigotted person.

I'm also quite amused how you're such a qualified expert on them when you've got such an aversion to them.

Surprisingly I play one of the online games that isn't WoW (have you even heard of any of the others or are you jumping on the media bandwagon?), have done for a good few years, it kills a couple of hours on an evening, doesn't interfere with my ability to work or function in society, and it's just my unwind on an evening. Of course if it'll make you feel better about the world - we'll just go out and get wrecked every Friday and Saturday and urinate in your front garden as that's somewhat more socially acceptable for you.

Considering that half the entire nation at the moment are spending 3+ hours an evening staring at a rectangular box watching 22 idiots kick a ball around a field - I hardly think that people don't spend hours watching TV.

I pity your husband if you regard yourself as the supreme arbiter of what constitutes a "worthwhile" hobby.

DSM · 21/06/2010 00:18

So what do you and your dp do for fun?

secunda · 21/06/2010 00:18

I never said people who play computer games can't be nice or fun or interesting. You're just assuming things I never actually said. When I was younger, lots of my male friends/boyfriend played computer games and they were still all those things.

Computer games just don't seem to give anything - sport gives you exercise, reading makes you use your imagination, improves knowledge, vocabulary etc.

OP posts:
abbierhodes · 21/06/2010 00:19

"They're not the same as reading a book or watching the telly. People get quite 'addicted' to them, and spend hours on them. They also seem to block out what's going on around them in a way that people don't when reading. It just seems so teenage"

You could be describing sites like MN!

secunda · 21/06/2010 00:19

How am I a bigot?? How bizarre. It is clearly a subjective opinion. I never said 'If you play computer games you are x'. Don't be so defensive.

OP posts:
BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 21/06/2010 00:20

Empty - fair enough if it's a shared hobby.

DH and I share a workload, so that I work while he is at home, and vice versa.

We have 3 evenings together during the week and guess what he is doing for 2 of them?

That and the fact that he has to be sat down by 7 if he is raiding says to me , OP, YANBU.

secunda · 21/06/2010 00:20

I shared my stepbrother's playstation when I was about 14. I do remember getting completely obsessed with this one game, can't remember what it's called now, but you had to 'rescue' this little creature from a factory. It was fun, but I was aware that I could easily spend the entire day on it.

OP posts:
Tombliboob · 21/06/2010 00:21

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MavisEnderby · 21/06/2010 00:23

I guess it is the time factor.If you do your hobby all the time to the exclusion of your dp then yes that is sad.If it something you do for instance for a set amount of time per night or nights a week or if something you enjoy as a couple then fair play

lolapoppins · 21/06/2010 00:23

Dh spends hours on online Star Trek.

He was chatting to someone on line once, who suddenly said 'I have to go, my mums shouting me to get to bed'. That was really sad.

DSM · 21/06/2010 00:23

Abe's oddessy. Brilliant game.

Learn a decent bit o' problem solving playing that one secunda.

MavisEnderby · 21/06/2010 00:24

PMSL @ lolapoppins.