not to be attracted to any grown man who regularly plays a computer game

[secunda]

I just can't. Challenging the kids on the Wii on Boxing Day is one thing, but spending a significant amount of time immersing oneself in an imaginary world, and not even in a constructive way as reading a book is [says she, covering arse]. It's so immature. World of Warcraft, ProEvo, all tedious and unattractive time-sucks imo. If DP spent hours doing it, as some men seem to, it would be a dealbreaker (he doesn't play them at all)

AIBU?

"They're not the same as reading a book or watching the telly. People get quite 'addicted' to them, and spend hours on them"

Which makes them not the same as watching the telly... how? How many telly-less people do you know? How many people with tellies do you know that regularly have them switched off all day/evening? How many sitting rooms have you seen where the seating isn't entirely organised around the (huge) tv?

Books, I grant you, can be less habit forming (and don't take so long to get through as a game), but I still couldn't put down my Margaret Atwood yesterday - would say I spent a good three/four hours reading it.

OP I started a thread like this a couple of years ago and got my arse similarly kicked

I think it's my age. When I were a lass computer games were rubbish - think that tennis thing you hooked up to the telly. By the time they got better I was a grown up and not interested enough to start shelling out for all the equipment. So for me - and DH - computer games are forever assosciated with children.

I think the clue is in the word "game." If something is a game it is not to be taken seriously. So when people start to take games incredibly seriously (see also the game, I think it might be called "Football"), particularly to the exclusion of things that should be important in their life, I start to find them a bit odd.

I appreciate however that there are probably loads of online games out there that I would love if I ever tried them.

'I wish I had time to read books to the same extent, but I like to really be able to get into a book and lose myself - a luxury that having 2DCs doesn't afford me'

What????? What?

Priceless!

so you dont watch any of the rubbish on TV then?

each evening I am subjected to Neighbours, Home and Away, Hollyoaks, Eastenders, COronation Street, what ever crap reality show is doing the rounds, at moment it is Big Brother.

and now Come Dine with me, seems to be the latest thing I have to endure, and what is worst it is all sky+

so forgive me if I take myself off to play a video game!

pfft some women

Hello secunda. I can understand what you're trying to say, but think you're being (only slightly) unreasonable.

The average age of a gamer is actually 33 (fact) and it's a very popular hobby both with men and women. Of course there are people who are more likely to get addicted to a particular game and in extreme cases it CAN take over someone's life.

At it's best, gaming is a fun diversion (I used to love Tomb Raider and Resident Evil, now I only have the odd half-hour stint on Warhawk a couple of times a week. If I have time) and at it's worst a player can cut themselves off from reality (not to mention awful RSI and headaches from staring at a screen for ten hours solid)

God, I'm actually boring myself now. You get my gist, eh?

OMG, someone describing themselves as a 'gamer' is even more horrifying.

I can vaguely grasp some of the concepts the OP is trying to get across. But her tone is very unpleasant and demonstrates ignorance and intolerance. Not all who play games devote hours of family time to them, in the same way as every golfer doesn't spend all weekend on the fairway and every gardener doesn't choose weeding over sex. Games are a hugely common pastime now and that's why you think addiction is widespread. For some people the mental stimulation provided by games is the main attraction - less acceptable to you perhaps but many would say that's better than watching moving wallpaper on tv.

Do all 'gamers' have a complete sense of humour bypass too I wonder?

YANBU not to be attracted to someone who plays games because you can't control who you're attracted to.

YABU if you think them playing games makes them immature, or somehow worth less than you.

It's a creative hobby. Just like getting yourself lost in a book. Reading fiction doesn't get you anywhere unless you're reading really advanced things and so expanding your vocabulary. Most people don't, they just read for escapism. Games are the same sort of thing.

I don't play much but what I do play is a variety. Some of the games I play include things such as freerice, where you can [really] donate free rice to hungry people as you get the definitions of words right. That's a computer game. I don't see it as a waste of time at all.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all - your original statement was that you 'can't be attracted to a grown man who regularly plays computer games' - surely we all have different interests and hobbies and usually we are attracted to people who like/do the same sorts of things that we do.

I agree, I wouldn't be attracted to someone who spent time playing computer games, or watching TV, or fox hunting, or being involved in the BNP or lots of other things that don't interest me or I find really off-putting.

I don't understand why everyone seems to think its so unreasonable - you've got to have interests in common surely? Plenty of people like computer gaming - that's fine - stick together.

A recent thread said that a 'deal breaker' was someone who was a church goer - many MNetters agreed with that comment, A deal breaker for me would be someone who was totally uninterested in religion.

Having read the thread - projection much?

WandersOffToPlaySomeCivBeforeTheFamilyWakesUpTiggaxx

Imarriedafrog clearly watching TV was an example of "things that don't interest me" wheras fox hunting or being involved in the BNP were examples of "things I find really off-putting.".

When DH plays, usually violent, video games it can make him very snappy. He won't turn them off, e.g. If his tea is ready, it monopolises the living room with loud battle noise and makes me feel uncomfortable. Fortunately he rarely plays and is not at all snappy the rest of the time. I can sympathise with OP if she has had a similar experience. I think the games are just awful.

kk, nvm then.

Secunda, at the risk of becoming unpopular, YANBU.

YANBU - another one agreeing with you Secunda.

Actually, the guys I know who do play these games are immature & would probably admit it themselves.

OK if you are single as your habit/addiction doesn't impact much on others. But when you sit there gaming all day/night (unless you are watching sport), not making eye contact with your family, while your OH is left to sort all domestic duties and tidy up after the chaos you have created getting from bed to fridge to sofa you are REALLY immature, and inconsiderate AND extremely unattractive IMO.

Even if we had two sittings rooms, and a cleaner I would still find someone who played lots of games very UNATTRACTIVE - which is what the OP is proposing.

I am with the OP.

Especially re those games where you are playing from teh POV of someone with a gun, like COD and Grand Theft Auto.

I don't know an adult who plays these games but I have lots of friends with teenage sons and it causes no end of problems. It is almost as if the teenagers are sent into a trance.

I think just playing every so often is fine - but 3 hours every night as some people have said on this thread - surely not. 3 hours of such a solitary activity in the evening is selfish whatever it is - whether reading, watching TV, golf, whatever.

I once played FIFA with DP - we were both so useless the only way we could score goals was to deliberately foul one another.

YABU. You are also missing out on some awesome games (not to mention men...)

Dh and I find playing a game together much more satisfying than watching a movie or reading a book as we interact a lot more - and given that we only have a couple of hours to unwind after the dc have gone to bed, if each of us is reading our own book, we may as well not see each other at all.

lol at encrypt the runes. That just about sums it up to me.

have only read OP and couldn't agree more. I think 'loser alert!' whenever I hear about grown men playing PSPs etc.

YANBU grown men spending hours on computer games?cringey.

games is something which has passed my whole family by, thank god. We have got a Playstation 3 which is only ever used as a DVD player, and dd has a wii which she played on Christmas day and has barely touched since.