not to be attracted to any grown man who regularly plays a computer game

[secunda]

I just can't. Challenging the kids on the Wii on Boxing Day is one thing, but spending a significant amount of time immersing oneself in an imaginary world, and not even in a constructive way as reading a book is [says she, covering arse]. It's so immature. World of Warcraft, ProEvo, all tedious and unattractive time-sucks imo. If DP spent hours doing it, as some men seem to, it would be a dealbreaker (he doesn't play them at all)

AIBU?

YANBU, not to be attracted to a man because he likes playing computer games, that is just your personal taste.

But a lot of the posts on here ABU, assuming that all men who play computer games are immature, self-centred (eg leaving their partners to get on with domestic tasks, ignoring crying children, sitting in pool of own urine) idiots!

Dh usually plays computer games (unfathomable football/WWII strategy games) whilst I mumsnet in the evening, if there is nothing on the TV. But he also works outdoors all day, comes home plays with the children, does some gardening, reads books, cooks tea etc etc.

i guess most of these posters who are against are really old and don't remember the joy of a spectrum 48 game themselves or computer illiterate

i am not computer illiterate nor particularly old and i think the op is right.

Definitely not computer illiterate, probably old under your definition but we had the tennis game that plugged into the tv and the Atari games console (also plugs into the tv) - just feel that they were kids things, not things that I need to be wasting hours on now. I have friends who still stay up til 4am playing games, even when they need to be up for important meetings the next day - how is that mature and responsible?

Good, glad you feel that way OP, because that leaves all the more sweet, loving, intelligent and kind geeky boys for the rest of us.

There are gaming addicts who I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with. But that's not about the game, it's the addiction that's the problem. It would be equally a problem with a workaholic, alcoholic exercise addict etc, etc.

DH plays online games, in the evening after I go to sleep generally. He wouldn't dream of doing so when DD was awake and will always check with me if he wants to play before I go to bed because he's considerate and a good father.

sorry that should be "alcoholic, exercise addict".

Gosh, an alcoholic exercise addict would be a sight, eh?

I hate it and would def be a deal breaker for me. Cant really explain why as I find men reading books very attractive... it just seems sooo childish!

I love playing World of Warcraft. Maybe you should give it a go, you may like it.

i find men who play golf boring, don't start a whole thread saying how pathetic they are do i?

so what if you don't like it

No - am not computer illiterate and am not old, I have no idea what you are talking about re spectrum and atari , it was the megadrive and nintendo 64 when I was a teen!

YANBU

But golf is sociable, it gets you out in the sun, its phisically challenging..
I agree it is boring, but its not a waste of time like flippin world of wierdcraft

YANBU to an extent. It would put me off TBH, but then again so would any hobby if allowed to take over the majority of shared spare time.

SIL is a CoD widow and has to watch any TV she'd like up in the bedroom, as at one stage (not sure if it's still as bad) BIL was playing it every evening using the living room tv until he went to bed. It was really getting to her as he'd turn down nights out to stay in and play and she was worried that he was becoming a bit isolated because of it.

So for me it's not the playing of computer games in itself, but the ability to keep hobbies to a reasonable level!

I think the addict thing is key...if he couldn't do anything else, or switch off to pay attention to family/friends, etc., then it would be an issue.

My DH doesn't play games now, but we used to be big into computer games before we had our DCs...it was much more fun than watching stupid TV, and it was a different way for us to interact.

Games are no more a 'waste of time' than watching telly, IMO.

YANBU

What else can he do while he ignores you doing all the cooking, housework and childcare. Give the man a break!

Wow, there's an amazing amount of prejudice on this thread. I'm guessing most of you would not consider yourselves racist and would not think 'all black people are X'. Why on earth then can't you give gamers the same respect?

Not all gamers are addicted, get snappy when they're interrupted, have no other hobbies. I have a lot of friends who are gamers and only one of them fits into this stereotype [that's my cousin, and even he's getting better now he's got a job].

Those of you making mass generalisations about a group of people, you are being unreasonable.

First person shooters are the best, sovery cathartic.

We don't watch telly, it is only plugged in when D wants to watch a DVD.

How come watching TV for a couple of hours an evening is less of a waste of time then, solving puzzles/chatting to friends online?

It isn't just men who enjoy gaming.

I really dont know how I feel about computer games, online or PS3 or whatever - but I do know that at this point I'm glad my husband doesn't partake of them.

I expect at some point one of my children will want to play them or have a console or whatever, I will possibly have a stronger opinion of them then, be it positive or negative.

Any partner who spends literally hours doing something hobbyish every day leaving the other partner a "widow", is slightly unattractive, in my opinion, in that I would not want that person as my partner, and in that simple form I agree with the OP.

Teehee at glitter likening gamer-phobia to racism...

I think TV is a waste of time too. Well, half an hour a day maybe but someone who watched TV all evening would equally turn me off.