not to be attracted to any grown man who regularly plays a computer game

[secunda]

I just can't. Challenging the kids on the Wii on Boxing Day is one thing, but spending a significant amount of time immersing oneself in an imaginary world, and not even in a constructive way as reading a book is [says she, covering arse]. It's so immature. World of Warcraft, ProEvo, all tedious and unattractive time-sucks imo. If DP spent hours doing it, as some men seem to, it would be a dealbreaker (he doesn't play them at all)

AIBU?

They give me the infinte joy of knowing that you're getting your knickers all in a bunch over some people somewhere in the world "wasting" their time having a bit of fun.

I personally don't see the point in gardening, see the gym as a human-sized version of a hamster exercise ball (but still reluctantly go), have read some books where my only motivation to get to the end was to see if it got any better, have wasted umpteen hours on silly crafty projects that I really didn't NEED to do... reason people do them - they enjoy them.

Personally I like puzzle games (a la Tetris), strategy games (Civ and the like - consider them a more modern version of Chess - is that worthwhile enough for you?), RPGs which have some cracking storylines... there's much more to video games than WoW, the bajillion Halo wannabes and whatever footy game is out this season. It's a massive and growing way that a huge chunk of society chooses to relax and unwind and, however much scorn you pour on it, it's something that's not going to go away. My generation were the original NES/Master System gamers - and we've not grown out of gaming as we've got older - we're now the PS3 and 360 owners... many of us beating the kids at what they believe to be "their" games.

Alright, fair play, I'll refine it to it being unattractive if it takes time from other things you could be doing, including spending quality time with OH, children, friends. Not just playing a computer game per se.

Then there's the whole thing about games which are incredibly violent etc. but that's probably a separate issue

now tetris is MASSIVELY addictive! I can't even let myself play it, or it will go on and on

If I am reading a book and DH asks me a question, I can put the book down and answer.

If I ask DH a question and he is in the middle of some battle, he puts me off.

So yes, there is a difference between reading and gaming,.

Abe's Odyssey! Yes! Oh my God. I remember getting stuck on one bit for about a week, I was going spare

You're losing the argument so you want to move the goalposts.

My mother could be out visiting family when she spends hours in the garden - why? The weeds just grow back.

My father-in-law's an angling nut - again, he could be out seeing friends but he would rather be out catching fish.

ANY hobby when it becomes obsessional cuts into your life - to be honest, an hour thrashing my husband soundly over Civ is hardly going to ruin my life. If you're going to jump down the "OMG WOW RUINED MY LIFE" route, which seems to be what you're trying to cling to now you've lost the argument over your elitist snobbery, then consider the hundreds of thousands of people who subscribe to these online games and who go to work every day, have a family life and pop on for a couple of hours on an evening - and AREN'T the ones in the news blaming the world for their obsessional tendencies.

I am not a massive fan of TV either, so much of it is bollocks.

What elitist snobbery?

I must have missed that post.

It doesn't matter if its computers books tv music sport what matters is that they are ther secunda believe me

emptyshell, I never said anything about any computer games having any effect on my life! I never said no one should play them. I just said that it would bug the hell out of me to be with someone who spent hours on it, as many seem to do along with the majority who just spend a couple of hours on it or whatever as you say. Obviously if you BOTH enjoy it there isn't a problem. I don't know why you're being so defensive.

And this thread was actually inspired by another thread where the poster's husband was ignoring their sobbing 3 year old boy because he was too busy playing a computer game. It's the people who let it come between them and 'real life' in THAT way that I have an issue with, not just a normal hobby. And it does seem to be quite common

Right, I'm off to bed, but will just reiterate, secunda - YANBU.

I agree Secunda.

Unspeakably unattractive and puerile.

Bleurghhhhh.

Yes but come on, aren't we all narrowminded when it comes to what we are and are not sexually attracted to? Doesn't mean I think it should be eradicated from the planet. I expected it to be taken in a more lighthearted way, not as an attack on EVERYONE who EVER played a computer game. i take back 'immature' and 'teenage'

"They're not the same as reading a book or watching the telly. People get quite 'addicted' to them, and spend hours on them. They also seem to block out what's going on around them in a way that people don't when reading. It just seems so teenage."

It is completely the same as reading a book. "Addiction" to games is nowhere near as common as the media would have you believe, and in most cases what gets called "addiction" is actually more a case of avoidance of other things. Eg. depression. And in those cases it could just as easily be TV or books.

I can think of many many people who spend a huge amount of time watching TV and reading to the point where they can block out what goes on around them. This is not unique to games in any way.

"Yes but come on, aren't we all narrowminded when it comes to what we are and are not sexually attracted to?"

Some more than other evidently Plus, most of us aren't reacting the whether you fancy gamers or not, as someone else said earlier, more for us. What you do find issue with is

"It's so immature."

Which, strangely enough, we can understandably read as

"an attack on EVERYONE who EVER played a computer game"

So coming back later and saying "oh, well I didn't mean that", is a little late to wonder why we found your OP so ridiculous.

YANBU - I find it a huge turnoff. One of OH's best qualitites is he isn't remotely interested in anything like that & our realtionship would not have pregressed if he was. Of course he still likes his couch time (too much IMO) but at least he not dominating the entire room with war games.

I think it's perhaps an age thing - I think younger women (I'm 42) may be more tolerant/understanding of them? Some of my friends OH's are into them - don't know how they tolerate it.

But I find baseball caps a turn off too! Never ever fancied a man wearing one.

WEll I have to admit I don't find it an attractive trait either - and a friend of mine whose DH was a computergame addict had a horrible time with him as he would stay up regularly until anwhere between 3 and 5am and then be too tired to do anything with her - when they had a baby, it was even worse for a while and they nearly split up over it.

If I was looking for a new partner and they said they were heavily into computer games, it would make me think twice about starting a relationship with them, yes.

YANBU

There is nothing wrong with gaming as long as they don't ignore everyone else all the time and this applies to everything a person does. It's not immature to do something something they enjoy and there a billions of people who would disagree with you.

Anyway men in general are known for their interest in gadgets and gaming whatever age they are not to mention women also enjoy it also.

lol - I'm only online at this time of the morning cos I had to make sure my troops were okay!!

I get a lot of stick for being a geek in RL but it's certainly not an addiction I would spend more time on than my family. Possibly the OP should have talked about addiction to things that prevent you having a RL too, rather than specifying what the addiction was.

I wish I had time to read books to the same extent, but I like to really be able to get into a book and lose myself - a luxury that having 2DCs doesn't afford me, but the game is one that I can spend 2 or 20 minutes on without losing time and attention for my family.