...to not want to take my shoes off...

[BetterGetTheKidsTeaOn]

when I've arrived at someone's house for a dinner party having spent ages choosing what to wear, including footwear?
Surely you can't expect people to get dressed up to come round for a meal and then ask them to wander around in their socks/tights (or even worse, popsocks hiding under knee-length boots!)

A lot of our friends are Asian so taking shoes off in each other's houses is just normal.

In our house there are usually shoes near the door, we have impractical cream carpets and crawling babies - so whilst I would never ask a guest to take their shoes off (unless traipsing mud) - most do take off their shoes.

We had a bed delivered and assembled from Holland and the delivery men automatically took off their clogs at the door!

I want visitors to feel comfortable and relaxed-they are far more important than the floor. I also trust my friends and relations to make their own decisions about where they have been and the state of their shoes.

but I do often walk around my house (which regularly has shoes "trodden" through it and don't actually get mucky socks.........sticky ones perhaps - but not mucky and my washing my floors occures approx once in a blue moon

Not wearing shoes in a rented place does not guarantee a clean carpet.....food, drinks, sick, toddlerin the midst of potty training. There are so many things that will visibly stain your carpets.

I visit families as part of my job and there's no way I would remove my shoes routinely. They often are fairly "lived in" houses and I'd be more worried about the dirt on their floors than on their shoes. Neither do i walk around at work with my shoes off , I used to work on a psychiatric ward fgs, we MADE the patients wear shoes because of the rancid state of the floor. I now work in an office and it would be considered bizarre and unprofessional for any member of staff to walk around shoeless.

I usually remove shoes out of habit at peoples houses and so does dd but if I was asked/made to I'd think it rude. V ungracious imo.

If you had a pile of slippers by the door ( cultural norms excepting e.g Japan where they are laundered every day) I'd think you exceptionally odd and we'd end up having an argument because I'd refuse to wear slippers that other people had worn.

YANBU - this is the first time I have seen so many who assume it OK to expect even the meter reader to remove their shoes. I thought it was taking it a bit far for them to insist at airports, but so, so, glad I'm unlikely to be invited to some homes, too. Maybe it's an aspirational thing which has led to this change, or class distinctions, perhaps.

"Not wearing shoes in a rented place does not guarantee a clean carpet.....food, drinks, sick, toddlerin the midst of potty training. There are so many things that will visibly stain your carpets. "

I quite agree, but for me it's a case of potentially minimising the damage, IYKWIM?**Oh, and although I'm ashamed to admit it, my mother disagrees with my parenting enough as it is, just for the sake of it- I don't want her to give me an info-dump about toxicariasis.

We have always rented houses with cream carpets. That is the other reason we do not wear shoes in the house and our children are not allowed to generally carry food and drinks about the house.

Hmmm, I naturally take my shoes off when popping into someone's house for tea, but I wouldn't expect to if I'm going to someone's house for a posh dinner. And vice versa. I certainly would never ask anyone to take their shoes off when entering mine, despite the fact that we do when we come in. (I don't walk around barefoot though, slippers.) We have all wooden or flagstone floors though so I would never expect anyone to walk around in their socks. Surely hospitality is about being hospitable...i.e.: making visitors feel comfortable in your home?

Floors should be the kind that looks nicer over time with wear - like the best kind of luggage.

Beige carpets? Ridiculously expensive vinyl? Boak.

We take our shoes off at home, but I wouldn't expect visitors to do so. I ask my DDs friends to remove theirs. But our admin lady tramps through the house with all sorts of hideous boots on and never gives it a second thought. If we replace the stair carpet I might buy her a pair of slippers.

I actually always say to people to keep their shoes on, because with 3 kids, 2 dogs and the odd chicken who seems to think it lives indoors rather than in the henhouse, socks always get a bit grubby!

I just think that when you've made an effort to look nice, it's a pity to have to expose your mismatched socks!

People wipe their feet on the way out of my house

minipie, it is custom throughout Scandinavia, for sure.

I'm Canadian and wearing shoes in someones' house is considered to be incredibly rude. You're walking through goodness knows what outside and then spreading it throughout someones home. Yuk! No one I know would even consider doing it. Taking your shoes off when you step inside the door is automatic. I would be horrified if someone wore their disgusting dirty shoes into my home. To me it would be as rude and disgusting as coming into the house and spitting on the floor. Guess it's all in what you're used to , but it totally grosses me out.

i am happy with general 'shoes off' houses but would feel awkward with taking shoes off for a dinner party or christmas drinks and nibbles or anything i'd been asked to dress up for - i don't have a lot of money for clothes and for these things often wear day or work dresses 'dressed up' with special accessories which includes the shoes.

if pre-warned then i could take a pair of ballet pumps that have not been outside or have been scrubbed up to be pristine. also if pre-warned i could plan the outfit accordingly and also make sure no wee holes in the toes of my tights

I see no point in people buying shoes if they have to take them off! Wellies and slippers cover it all!!
I am an adult and I think that I can decide for myself whether my shoes have been in the mud or just in the car. If they are dirty I take them off.

My dogs stand inside the door and wait until their little paws get wiped and then scurry off to do their thing.

Ultimately, I guess it's just a matter of common courtesy to respect what someone wants done in their home. I find it odd for people to think that it is rude to be asked to take off their shoes. The way I was brought up and the way both I and the people I interact with think is if you are a guest in someones home, it is your responsibility to be a gracious guest and show your appreciation for their hospitality. People are allowing you to enter into their personal space and you need to be respectful of that.

A bit of balance surely! My dc take shoes off automatically now,as do I. (DH less good). Friends round for a casual afternoon would too, although i wouldn't ask them. friends for dinner who have made an effort? Never. If i turned up in evening type clothes and a friend asked me to take shoes off I would feel awkward and as if they were suggesting I was slack in some way. I would be less keen to go there again. Maybe that is the cunning plan?
They are only there for a couple of hours, mostly sitting, in their best, probably quite clean shoes. It's not going to make a difference to your carpets, it's the day in day out tramping that does that.

So, overall, sorry OP, I rambled. YANBU

I leave my shoes by the front door, so the majority of people when they come in automatically take their shoes off (even Health Visitor and Occupational Therapist have)

However, when having a dinner party I have never asked people too. Similarly when family come round for birthdays etc.

Though I was rather pissed off last Christmas Eve when my uncle walked across the green out the front instead of round it and then trampled a huge amount of mud round my house.

Couple of times I have had to ask friends children to remove their shoes to go upstairs, but thats about it.

40denier, seems we are on the same wavelength!

and OP, YANBU!

I agree with 40dernier.., it is the day in and day out tramping that ruins carpets. I wouldn't dream of asking people to remove their shoes ( and my house has cream carpets)
My SIL places old rags and towels around the house when she has guests, which i find strange, but i suppose that this is better than asking them to remove their shoes.

I live in a farming village with no pavements. Friends who come walk ( not really parking on the street) or come from the village anyway, they are muddy cow shitty often) roads. We all remove shoes/wellies, even though the inside floors may be stone or not very clean. Oddly I often tell grown-ups not to worry but children always do it and I let them - they spend enough time mashing food into my carpets anyway without making tings worse [hgrin]

Having said that I have been caught with holey socks, stubbly legs after removing knee boots and similar horrors . So I have sympathy with the onnies.