...to not want to take my shoes off...

[BetterGetTheKidsTeaOn]

when I've arrived at someone's house for a dinner party having spent ages choosing what to wear, including footwear?
Surely you can't expect people to get dressed up to come round for a meal and then ask them to wander around in their socks/tights (or even worse, popsocks hiding under knee-length boots!)

that said - I do take my shoes off if I go to a friends house for coffee/general visit etc.

However, if I've got dressed up for a party then no I'd be upset to be asked to take my shoes off - I don't have a bag so the argument of "don't you put your bag down" doesn't apply to me. Hell I spend longer deciding which boots shoes to wear when I'm going out somewhere than I do on deciding what to wear

admittedly that's probably because I have a much bigger choice of footwear than I do clothes

Yes, to be fair, I do tend to take my shoes off for casual day time visits (just to avoid any embarrassment - I'm not in the business of making a point in other peoples houses - it's no skin off my nose)

Erm, i prob fogot to wipe feet, i was very very embarassed, as i should have been, obviously

YABU - Their house their rules, if you dont agree dont go.

I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes, people have all sorts of hangups about their feet and I hate smelly feet

we don't wear shoes in our house through choice and i usually take mine off at other people's but if I was togged up for a dinner party I woulnd't.

I do think it's a bit rude for hosts to ask you to take off your shoes. Equally I also think it's rude for a guest to just walk in if they can see signs that it's a shoe-free household. People have different opinions about being shoe-less inside, so if I go somewhere I always start taking off my shoes hoping to hear a "Don't worry just come in" .

If the only reason you object to taking off your shoes is because 'it completes your look', then YABU. I have to wear shoes on uncarpetted floors because otherwise I start to sneeze and sneeze and sneeze uncontrollably (no idea why), so I ask to keep it on or borrow some slippers.

I don't mind people wearing their shoes in my house the only person who drives me mad is FIL. He always always has muddy shoes. Feck knows why as he doesn't walk anywhere!

I usually make small children take their shoes off as they tend to run across the garden, in the rain, before they come in.

People would probably get dirty socks if they take their shoes off in my house!

I always ask if I need to remove my shoes, especially when I visit families(part of my job).
I agree with whoever it was that said it is a cultural thing too - mum from the Carribean and when she was growing up she walked around barefoot indoors, so I do. Hate the feeling of shoes on my feet when at home relaxing. I actually take them off at work as well and some of my colleagues worry about the 'dirty' carpet and tell me I should get some slippers. But I would hate that, so I don't. My feet look and smell lovely too, as I make a real effort because I know I will be removing my shoes

Must admit, for a dinner party at someone elses, I ask if I need to remove them, but I would never expect my guests to have to.

YANBU, I always remove my shoes if they're my tramping about the park/pavements shoes/boots but if I'm going to a party I'm usually wearing high heels or something dressy that's part of the outfit and I want to keep them on.

If this happened I would turn on my heel and leave, in fact I have done on one occassion. It's rude and precious.

Our good friends have this rule but I know them so well it doesn't bother me and we're always in and out of each other's house.

I'd be a bit more put-out if it was someone I didn't know as well.

Just to point out my wooden floor was the cheap option - just sanding down the boards.......Don't think they considered stiletto wearers when it was laid in the thirties. I like the 'distressed' look but there is a limit!

I have never ever been asked to take mine off at a party or dinner.
If I were to arrive during the day, and it was wet or muddy. I would of ocurse, take off my boots.

I have no desire to spend my evening looking at corns and long toe nails thank you very much.

I think it might depend on the flooring. A friend had just spent months having a beautiful 1920s parquet floor restored. Her SIL arrived in stilettos and refused to remove them, and caused irreparable damage.

That said, I've always made it obvious to people that we don't wear shoes in the house, and offered them a basket to put theirs in. Not everyone agrees to, but I wouldn't force the issue, unless it likely to cause the floor damage in some way.

We don't wear shoes indoors, but I don't insist on visitors removing their shoes, as we've got a dog. Maybe I should get some little slippers for the dog.

I come from a take the shoes off at the door household and continue the tradition in mine, it is common practice in many parts of the world as is taking them off before entering a temple in many religions.

It's showing respect to take your shoes off and also hygienic, I hate having to go around spraying the floor with disinfectant after someone has been in with shoes on or even worse having to spray and hoover the floor, thats why I will never have a dog or cat, outside dirt should stay outside.

YABU and selfish IMO.

From my experience, it's more of a working class thing. People couldn't afford to replace carpets/rugs easily if they became dirty, people understood and respected this, so removed their shoes when visiting.

I would feel rude if I didn't remove my shoes when visiting someones house. When I go to someones house, I go to see them, not to show off my shoes!

Also, I think research has found that most of the lead dust in houses is tracked in from outside on shoes, along with all sorts of other nasty things like pesticides. Not nice if there's small children crawling around on the floors.

Personally I would feel rude asking my guests to take their shoes off. I want my guests to feel comfortable.

But then, I'm not all that bothered by a few marks or a bit of dirt - I prefer the lived-in look to the show home look.

Anyway, don't forget that people might have verrucas or athlete's foot! So bare feet aren't necessarily better than shod feet.

fragola - I let my children crawl around/sit on the ground making mud pies, when they were small.....

ahhh the old shoe on or off debate ...I'm an 'offy'...

I let mine make mud pies too...outside. Which is where dirt belongs. My newly crawling and teething baby likes to lick my laminate floors....you really think your nice shoes are worth him licking the shit off the street?

oh you Brits, so uncivilised.

In most other countries, people bring their nice shoes with them in a shoe bag, and change shoes when they get to the dinner party.

so there's no shit in the mudpies...........and you've obviously not had a child with the shoe sucking/licking fetish yet (2/3 of my children went through a phase where they would actively seek out shoes - not on feet- and I'd find them sitting there sucking/chewing them - blurghh...........mind never did them any harm

There may be shit in the mudpies...outside. Not inside, outside. Where shit and mud, and shoes, belong. Not sure how much clearer I can be on that point.
And yes, 2 out of my 3 have had the shoe fetish, one currently so, which is all the more reason that the dirty shoes are downstairs by the front door and not upstairs in or around my living room.
I would never have guessed that not wanting small infants to lick dirt and dog shit would be so controversial!

"In most other countries, people bring their nice shoes with them in a shoe bag, and change shoes when they get to the dinner party."

QSincognito - seriously? where do they do this? not doubting you, just curious!