...to not want to take my shoes off...

[BetterGetTheKidsTeaOn]

when I've arrived at someone's house for a dinner party having spent ages choosing what to wear, including footwear?
Surely you can't expect people to get dressed up to come round for a meal and then ask them to wander around in their socks/tights (or even worse, popsocks hiding under knee-length boots!)

I think if outdoor shoes (unless it's wet and muddy outside) are mkaing your house THAT dirty you need to invest in a better doormat.

I wash my floors far less often than I should do and the downstairs floors - where shoes are often frequently worn - aren't that much muckier than the upstairs floors - where they will have been taken off.

The worst muck from downstairs is from spilled drinks and food

I've become used to it here in NZ as it's the 'norm' you always take your shoes off unless occasionally the host/ess says don't worry. I guess at the end of the day it's what you're used to and I have to agree with the posters who have said - their house their rules - so YABU. SOrry.

I think its rude to walk into peoples houses with shoes on. If I go to someone's house and want to wear shoes, I always bring indoor shoes.

Which ever way you look at it it's just plain rude to ask guests to remove their shoes IMO. Fair enough if it's your kids muddy trainers, but not guests who've come for a dinner party. Either get dark coloured carpets or put wooden floors down if you're that bothered

What if your feet stink?

Normally we always take our shoes off on a day to day basis, but I would never expect to be asked (or ask my guests) to remove shoes at a dinner/supper/lunch party type event.
toccanatanfudge - I wipe my dog's paws

this NEVER happened when I was a child, and still doesn't in our house. No one has died from our disgraceful floors. We wipe our feet as we come in, and the floors are washed/hoovered. I think this is part of the modern obsession with extreme cleanliness, of killing all bacteria and germs, which will only lead to lack of immunity and resistant anti-biotics. Nothing wrong with normal germs, and if your floor is so precious then don't let anyone in.

It is rude.

Floors are for walking on.

Doormats are for wiping shoes on.

Mops and vacuums are for cleaning floors.

orienteerer - what every time they've been outside in the garden???????

I see your point but i did have a 2,0000 floor ruined by accident by stilotoes- had a dance party in the house and the next day the floor was literally full of marks - it never occured to me and its a real dilema because i want people to feel good when dressed up at my home,dont want to not be party animal for b day once a year, but dont want ruined floor -to hijack the post - what would others do ???

I've never been asked to take shoes off in a friend's house and would find it very weird to be honest. I do think it's a bit anal to expect people to do so, especially when they are guests. A bit of dirt won't kill anyone!

Dogs/cats usually will def not walk in poo, it would be very unusual, they seem to have sixth sense about it.
I don't mind if people wear shoes in house if they look like they haven't been walking anywhere muddy, eg just come from car to house. If they are children, i usually have quick look then say, if they look clean enough. If adults, would prob say 'no dirty shoes', hate it when folk (usually members of DP family grrr)expect me to take my shoes off in their house then just traipse all over mine in outdoor shoes!
Have bad experience of outdoor shoes/carpet incident(!), i went into friends v relaxed flat once, they has DS who was about 1 or 2, so crawling, on floor a lot, and was v embarrased to, after a bit of 'hmm, bit smelly in here', look at my shoes on their carpet and see big bit of dog poo, yuk. Friend was v chilled about it but really wouldn't that to happen again

I think it depends. I'm definitely more comfortable with my shoes off so I can curl up on the sofa. We take our shoes off inside but I wouldn't force anyone to do the same.

YABU

I'm the same as lincolnlass had a vinyl floor ruined at my 40th by stilletto heel marks - didn't even occur to me.

Now we have sanded the original floor boards and they appear to be soft wood. They are all pitted by one settee where a guest sat.

As I live in suburbia and it's not muddy I'm not so worried about dirt. If I had beige carpets I would ask people to take shoes off though!

you see I don't get this "we have wooden floors" thing either.

Some of the loveliest houses I have been in with wooden floors have had really old wooden floors with the little dents, and marks and "weathering" (indoor of course) that has occured naturall over time.

I love that "lived on" look on the floors.

In fact just before I moved in here the landlord happened to be here one day when I came round with the letting agent. He apologised for the "state" of the living room floor (varnished floorboards).

I think they look fab, worn and lived in. I'd have been gutted if he'd done something with them before I moved into make them look all new and pristine .

Iamreallysilly - did you not wipe your shoes on the mat on the way in?

Mind I've found even when we all remembered to take our shoes off when the DS's were little we'd still go and find them sucking on the damn things in the hall way

YANBU.

Theres lived in and then theres brand new expensive floors destroyed by someones hideous stilettos.

I don't see the problem. Shoes are for outside, to protect your feet from the dirt, shit, glass and stones etc from outside. I do not want dirt, shit, glass etc in my house, my children create enough of that. Its filthy wearing outside shoes indoors, on carpet and where babies crawl, and IMO its the height of rudeness to see your image as more important than your hosts home.

I knew it! Just a matter of time before the dreaded, 'They're trailing dog shit into the house!'

But they do. Maybe if so many dog owners weren't selfish cunts who let their dogs shit all over teh pavements, the shoe issue would be less contentious, but thats a whole other AIBU!

I never directly ask guests to take their shoes off when they come into my home. But we don't wear shoes in the house and I always think it's a little rude of guests not to follow the norms of the home they're visiting. We spent a long time living in Asia where it is simply unacceptable to wear shoes in the home - the whole idea of tramping in dirt and excrement from the streets is pretty disgusting (all the more so in countries where squat toilets are the norm!).

We have no shoes in the house (except the kitchen because that's where you come in). It isn't a recent thing as some posters have claimed, but more a cultural thing. I grew up in a household with no shoes and if you walked into either of my grandparent's houses with your shoes on you would be made to feel rather uncomfortable and not invited back! My inlaws are pretty much the same and we're from very different cultures but the shoes thing is a no no.

It isn't just about maintaining floors and bing prissy and over hygienic, it's about manners and when you're in someone's house you abide by their rules or don't go back.

On the other hand, wouldn't expect someone to take of their shoes at a party far more likely someone will spill a drink or food or desert and you'll have a big clean up the next day anyhow.

runny - as I said earlier - my floors are rarely washed , and the DS's rarely remember to take their shoes off. We walk EVERYWHERE. Yes my door mat get mucky, and it needs a good clean quite often........but the floors really do not get absolutely filthy. I can easily use the same bucket of water to wash the entire downstairs floors of my house (hallway, dining room, kitchen, living room) and the water isn't that mucky.

And I've never once had dog shit trailed into the house - because people either don't stand in it at all, or they wipe their shoes before entering the house.

as for the expensive floors - well if you're going to spend silly amounts of money for something that people walk on, children play on, drop food on, drinks get split on and in the potty training stages often shit on - well......................

No YANBU.

Who are all these people with shit all over their shoes? Why get flooring that you can't actually walk on with shoes without damaging it? Fair enough your choice, but then don't expect people to ever enjoy coming round to visit you.

If visitors wearing shoes indoors really brings anyone out in a cold sweat why not provide some kind of antiseptic wipe that they can wipe the soles of their shoes with (still a bit tosserish but at least they could get to keep their Manolos on). The bottoms of shoes aren't porous anyway and can easily be wiped clean on the door mat.