...to not want to take my shoes off...

[BetterGetTheKidsTeaOn]

when I've arrived at someone's house for a dinner party having spent ages choosing what to wear, including footwear?
Surely you can't expect people to get dressed up to come round for a meal and then ask them to wander around in their socks/tights (or even worse, popsocks hiding under knee-length boots!)

There are so many cultures where keeping outdoor shoes on in the house is mildly/significantly offensive (Japan, New Zealand Maori, Korea, plus many other Asian countries for starterse). I suspect the UK is probably more the exception than the rule (although as this thread shows, actually there are also cultural norms in the UK around shoe wearing inside too)

Unless you know for certain that your host won't be offended, why run the risk? Better to ask and be told it's OK to leave them on than risk offending. If you don't like walking around in socks, bring some slippers or ballet pumps with you.

People always take off their shoes in my house.
except FIL who brought in a crushed slug under shoe then walked its guts through out my down stairs.

People i know ALWAYS take off their shoes when they come in my house becuase they all stick on the kettle, brew up then curl up on the sofa, relaxed and comfy.

We dont lock the front door so people we know just walk in, no one knocks, kick off shoes and head for kettle.

Dinner parties are casual affairs..not so much dinner party more like friends coming round for tea/take away what ever, we are not posh, not formal people so its more a relaxation and comfort measure in our house.

We are a shoes off house. As a child my mother always asked people to remove shoes in the hallway, I think it was a cultural thing, she grew up in a different country.

I have always been the same. I only ever have to ask FIL, everyone just automatically takes off shoes. Even people who have never been before just take off their shoes. Almost all the house I go to, are no shoe households too.

I hate the idea of walking dirrt and mud all over carpets and floors. UUrrggggh!

This will get me flamed but if I am honest I always feel houses where people wear shoes indoors are not clean!

YABU

I have carpet so therefore always ask visitors to remove their shoes.

It is a matter of hygiene. I always remove my shoes when visiting someone's house

I have an indoor cat and I hoover daily.

I also have a crawling DD

My carpets are cleaner and wear better for not having shoes rubbed all over them.

YABU. Shoes off in this house thank you. I don't want my baby crawling around amongst dirt and shit and whatever else thank you very much. There is one exception though, a friend of ours has very smelly feet, and thus he is excused .

I would not lose a friendship over it, as all my friends take their shoes off no question, and do so in their own houses too. Apart from the odd person who forgets, and DD remind them not me .

We have a basket to put shoes in as they come in, so its obvious they need to, or those who smoke automatically put them by the back door so they can easily put them on when they go outside for a smoke.

and if i go to a dinner party I know I am taking my shoes off, so i wear nice heals and make sure my toenails are looking good/painted to match my outfit.

As everyone says, it's cultural. In the UK, it's largely acceptable to wear shoes in the house. In most of the rest of the world, it's seen as 'yukky'. If you've lived in a 'shoes inside = yukky' culture, you really don't like having shoes on in the house. There's probably some psychological things about deliminating boundaries, claiming space, etc etc

in my experience, its only in the uk that people have this attitude towards their precious cream carpets. the rest of the world is more concerned about making their guests feel welcome

when i have gotten dressed up to go to a dinner party, taken my lovely shoes out of the box before putting them on, getting int he car, parking right near the house, and then going in, staying as far away form anything that will remotely damage my beautiful shoes, i am NOT then going to leave them in the hallway in a jumble sale and walk barefoot on cold marbled floors. Needless to say, i will NEVER be returning to that house again.

All of my Asian friends have this as part of their custom and we have the policy upstairs but wooden floors downstairs so would not expect it although I do encourage children to lose the shoes. Stupid idea to have cream stair carpet.

Apparently if you have an asthmatic child, wearing outdoor shoes inside can aggravate the problem.

I live in a flat with light carpets.

I will not lose my deposit because my "friends" can't be arsed to take their shoes off.

So think YABU

I also think it's grubby. You could have carpets for 10 years, it's where my friend's lay their babies, where I relax on the floor and pet cats.. I wouldn't lay outside on the pavement

Oh and one last thing cause clearly this is winding me up more than it should...

But just cause you have lovely virgin party shoes on....does not mean everyone has spotlessly clean shoes. The host can't make an exception for some that would be rude.

I always ask when I go to someone's houe

Its a class thing isn't it

You could have stepped in dog poo, wee or anything and then walk it in to a carpet that a child then sits and plays on. It is a bit disgusting when you think about it.

The UK is so far behind with respect to this. In Scandinavia, Japan, most of South East Asia you would never dream of walking into someone's home with your filthy outdoor shoes on (and yes they are filthy - our pavements are filthy).

I made this a rule when I had my first ever new carpet in my flat about 25 years ago and now I almost find it impossible to walk into carpeted places with my shoes on. (Even in hotels it feels strange!)

i dont remove my clothes when i go to someone elses house. i dont wash my hands with antispetic cream, unless visiting a newborn in hospital. i wont be removing my shoes either.
i clean my floors twice a week. i have limited carpets in my house because i believe carpets are harder to clean. I value my friends company.
in other countries, there are either special rooms that people keep shoe less, or they put sheets, carpets, rugs quilts down when they want to roll around on the floor. they dont make their guests feel unwelcome by removing their shoes. that ONLY happens in the uk.

There is a big country called the USA where they do it to Ladysbil... When I lived in Germany it was also standard. My french grandmother's head would have exploded if I'd tracked dirty shoes in to her house as well. It has also been mentioned that they do it in Asian countries too.

it is CLEANER that way

Goodness me you're all getting a bit het up over an old thread.

I don't understand people with dogs and cats who insist that people take off their shoes. Do they disinfect their pets whenever they come in the house?

People who worry about their babies crawling in a speck of dirt would hyperventilate if they went to soft play

I agree with traceybath!!

YANBU people seem to think there is some new, non-smelling version of dog poo that is automatically going to be scattered secretly throughout their houses (according to comments here).

That's ridiculous, it has a pungent STENCH that you cannot miss unless you have lost your sense of smell. Anyone entering a house with dog poo on their feet will know as will the owners of the house.

I don't like people taking their shoes off in my house. It feels too intimate and informal. They don't live here, I do.

(don't know why this one has got me so het up!

I would never ask people to remove their shoes. I assume when they come into my house they wipe their feet on the doormat first. I have valuable antique rugs and ancient floor boards, however I value my friends company and comfort first.

MamaVoo my cats are indoors only. I do ask they wip their feet when exiting the litter box.

It's only right.