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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that giving a 9 year old wine is outrageous?

150 replies

fannybanjo · 15/06/2010 20:59

well my neighbour and her ex-husband (who I informed) don't. Fuckers. This is the same neighbour who beat up her 13 year old step-daughter on Sunday and was arrested and the Police called me and asked me to mind 4 children. Supposedly Social Services were scratching their heads as to what to do with them. She was then released with a caution.

I am slowly losing faith with Child Protection systems in this country.

OP posts:
booyhoo · 15/06/2010 21:00

a sip of wine or a bottle? who gave the wine to the child, you or the parents?

a sip of wine will do no harm

smokinaces · 15/06/2010 21:01

It depends on the amount of wine. 1/2 a small glass with a sunday roast at that age isnt so bad. Its legal from 5, and I was about 10/11 when I had the odd bit.

From the rest of your post I guess this wasnt the situation though!

glasgowmandy · 15/06/2010 21:02

i think its a fuckin farse!! its disgusting! why the hell are these people employed? to pricisley sit about scratch their heeds while innocent children are being left to stand with abuse and cruelty!

those poor kids, they give their nine year old wine???

julybutterfly · 15/06/2010 21:02

Depends how much it was. It's not illegal but YANBU to think it's outrageous!

LuluF · 15/06/2010 21:03

You may not think it's a good idea, but I don't believe it's illegal. You are able to give alcohol to children 5 and over in your own home (and even in a pub garden or a restaurant, according to licensing laws), though I know recent guideline suggest not doing this under the age of 15.

Unless the law has changed recently, but I don't think it has.

LimaCharlie · 15/06/2010 21:03

DS asked for a sip of my wine this weekend - he's 11 - he got a sip to taste it and pronounced it foul - not the worst parenting in the world- I wouldn't let him have several glasses though

frasersmummy · 15/06/2010 21:03

legally you can give your child alcohol with your supervision in your home from age 5..

I know 5 is very very young but in france eg kids are brought up with wine on the table at dinner

depends on the circumstances..

hopalongdagger · 15/06/2010 21:03

YABU to think that giving any wine to a 9 year-old is wrong. I think a very small splash in the bottom of a glass is fine, for instance if adults are drinking wine as part of a sunday lunch or special occasion.

Allowing a 9 year-old to have wine often, or to have more than a taste is a different matter.

frasersmummy · 15/06/2010 21:04

sorry several x posts

Eglu · 15/06/2010 21:04

DS1 is 6 and occasionally has watered down wine at dinner so YABU.

However your neighbours sound like they may be a bit different to that.

Original poster
fannybanjo · 15/06/2010 21:04

well considering the mother is a raging alcoholic and her mother was also, I would say it is a sorry situation. I believe (her step sister who is 11 told me) that it was a small glass.

booyhoo - I would never offer a child alcohol, never mind a 9 year old one.

OP posts:
wahwah · 15/06/2010 21:05

Why are you losing faith? The Police took action and made sure the children stayed with someone they knew. You need to contact Social Services if you aren't talking to them at tje moment, to let them know exactly how bad things are.

Original poster
fannybanjo · 15/06/2010 21:06

OMG I am shocked at the amount of responses saying you think it is okay. Why give a child that young alcohol - for what benefit is it to the child?

OP posts:
Original poster
fannybanjo · 15/06/2010 21:07

wahwah - I could write a book on this family and how I have tried to help them.

Social Services have let these children go back to a mother who is in no fit state to look after them. She drinks on average 5-6 bottles of wine a day.

OP posts:
glasgowmandy · 15/06/2010 21:07

i dont think any child should be given alcohol.

arcticwind · 15/06/2010 21:07

My children are allowed small amounts of alcohol - I beleive the current taboo on alcohol is what causes the binge drinking culture once they get 'old enough'.

Of course I am also careful to explain the dangers and that everything in moderation is the best way.

booyhoo · 15/06/2010 21:09

and that is totally fine that you would never do that.

i dont drink wine but if i did and my dcs asked to taste it i would let them. idont think a sip of wine will do any damage. i may be wrong, feel free to let me know if i am anybody.

wahwah · 15/06/2010 21:09

In an ok family a splash of wine with a meal on a special occasion will not harm... I was raised like this and don't have any issues with alcohol. In a family where there is problem drinking then it's a really bad idea to do this.

smokinaces · 15/06/2010 21:09

I am of the opinion that small amounts of alchol at a younger age in a correct supervised situation lead to children growing into teens that dont binge drink or treat alcohol in a negative way. Thats how it worked for me and my friends brought up this way so this is how I will bring my children up.

I dont agree with toddlers being given sips of alcohol for adult amusement, but a child of 8/9 onwards having a small amount every now and then in social situations I dont have a problem with.

maltesers · 15/06/2010 21:10

YANBU . .my son is 9 and i would never offer him anything of the sort. However, if he insisted on trying a sip of wine/beer i guess i would let him taste it. . .but thats it.

My older dd is 19 yrs now and goes out and gets totally trollied. . .i think she started when she was about 14 yrs. . .naughty girl !

StarOfValkyrie · 15/06/2010 21:10

I don't agree with the beating or irresponsible handing out of alcohol to children, but a bit of wine in a controlled environment with food is perfectly fine for a 9yr old imo

hopalongdagger · 15/06/2010 21:10

I would give a child alcohol in order to de-mystify it, and teach them to drink it responsibly. I would hope that this would lessen the attraction of going out and getting drunk with their mates at the age of 13. I would never give them very much, but it's what my parents did with me and I think it worked quite well.

LuluF · 15/06/2010 21:11

I went to school with a girl whose parents kept alcohol under lock and key. When she was old enough to go out, she would regularly drink until she blacked out, would never know how she got home or what had happened.

My parents were relaxed about alcohol and would let me have a sip every now and then. I never did what my friend did.

As a parent you make a judgement. I think it's about education, personally.

I would worry as there is a history of alcohol abuse within your neighbour's family, though.

Original poster
fannybanjo · 15/06/2010 21:11

I truly am shocked at how many posters allow alcohol to be drunk by their children. I haven't been on Mumsnet for a few months. I was not expecting this response to be quite honest!

OP posts:
StarOfValkyrie · 15/06/2010 21:12

And I'm if the law is no alcohol under 5. My ds has been sipping beer since he was 2.

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