to be updset at friends bullying me about baby care AND baby name???

[jaabaar]

I really really got upset when my friend visited me last week. Baby is 4 months old.

THis is what happened:

• Friend: Can I feed a banana? Me: No, we didnt start weaning yet. Friend: OK. AND feeds the banana! Same happened next day

• My baby has two first names. The second name is in honour of my mum. But we call the baby by the first first name.

Friend: DO NOT call her the first name. It is horrible, where did you find it out of the blue???? Why do you give such a meaning less name??? You MUST call her by the second name. And during her stay whenver I called baby by first first name we had the same story.....

• Friend: What name will you give priest when you baptise? (I say both names). Friend: NO NO NO, If you do that I will not baptise the baby!

• Friend: WHY dont you put honey on the dummy if she doesnt take dummy?

Me: Because honey should not be fed before 1 year! Friend: WHY are you being so difficult??? For centuries it was like that! My God how you have changed!!!

And it goes on and on and on....

I am exhausted from swallowing all of this without getting into arguments just for peace sake.

WHAT could I have done and what can I do NEXT time????

Surely a baby's name is a parents business....

Bearcrumble: What is the story of the poor frankfurter baby?

Eglu: I was not in the room with her and baby when she fed! I went back into the room and saw the baby licking the banana and she said: you see, she likes it! That was besides the point if she liked it or not! I did NOT want to give her the banana.

Next time?

Tell her to get fucked, then punch her one. Using a banana covered in honey.

I think it sounds like this woman is envious of your baby. The name stuff is hurtful, but the banana feeding is actually invasive and as such I would find it worrying and totally unacceptable. I think you need to assert yourself to protect you and your baby. What would you do if she slapped your baby's reaching hand at 6m, saying that's how its been done for centuries?

Be strong.

Honey paralyses babies?? Seriously?

I must agree with everyone else. People have been making fun of the name we have picked for DD (flora) and I've toldeveryone if they can't be happy about it (or at least shut up about it) I will tell them all to get f**d.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/berkshire/10241928.stm

It is horrible. A mum told her friend not to feed her baby a piece of frankfuter - so she waited unto mum was out of the room and did it anyway and the baby choked to death.

unto = until.

Thank you very much for all your comments. Made me feel that I am not exagerating as if I say something to her (in a nice, diplomatic way) she explodes and says how OTT I am and how "abnormal" I am etc.

Praminthehall: Good point.. Made me think...

Stop being sad about the way shes acting.

Start being strong and telling her to eff off.

20 years doesn't make a friend, being nice to you and having a good time with you that you both enjoy makes a friend. Cut down the eamount you see her and try to see her out of the house on neutral territory.

Or just try saying "you are annoying me - you may be entitled to your opinion but I'm not obliged to sit and listen to it so I suggest if you want to stay friends that you learn a little more tact"

OMG bearcrumble: That is a horrible, sad story

Next time she explodes at you ask her why is she friends with you if she finds you OTT about everything. And suggest she leaves you alone if she doesn't like your personality. Turn it back on her, I think.

Its not the case, obviously, that honey will paralyse a baby, but it can (and does) cause infant botulism, one complication of which can be paralysis.

Kewcumber: I really dont mind anyone telling me their opinions, even if they are the total oposite that I believe.

I do mind to be bullied into having the same opinion and if someone takes action with my baby to carry them out.

TELEVISION: I said I do NOT want her to watch television several times. What does she do?? Sits the baby exactly oposite TV and says: look how much she likes it!!
I say: There was a recent study that letting baby watch tv is not that good...
Friend: Uhhhhh there you go again, my friends say it stimulates the brain!
After me switching off the tv, she switches it back on..

Sorry I am going on about it....

Jaabaar, this woman dopes sound a bit envious of your baby (think that because you say she's changed since you had your lo)

Do you think she might have some fertility issues that she is dealing with (not that it makes her behaviour ok at ALL because it doesn't)

Just saying if she normally is a good friend I would sit down and have a real talk with her..

If she can't sort her behaviour I would leave the friendship.

Should say DOES not dopes!

show her this thread
or tell her she is no longer behaving like a friend
or if you see her, don't let her be alone with your baby, you can't trust her. If she asks why, tell her

OP, why on earth are you still giving this woman house room? She sounds like a major drain and a loon.

20yrs or 20minutes she would still be shown the door from me.

No she doesnt have fertility issues. She always said that she never wanted children as she does not want the hassle.

Another thing: I am 40 when I had my baby this january. Friend: OMG, why did you have a baby at this age??? You will not be able to keep up with her. When she is 10 you are 50!! You should not have done this etc etc etc.

But I have waited all his yers to have a baby and I am MORE than happy to get tired like a dog for my baby as it IS WHAT i always wanted!!!

It really takes part of the joy away listening to all this comments. And whne you hear it for a while you think that maybe there is some truth in it.

Was even thinking, my God I hope my baby does not suffer to much for me being old (((

I do hope you show her this thread. She is not a friend to you. She is 1) a bully 2) jealous of you and your lovely baby, and probably also of your knowing more about how to bring up a baby than she does 3) a dangerous maniac loon.

I agree with Kewcumber- just because she has been your friend for 20 years doesn't mean you have to keep her.

If you really don't want to lose her "friendship" then at least tell her the risks she insists on putting your baby under by encouraging early weaning/honey/tv watching etc.

Just enjoy your baby and try to be around supportive people not bossy bullies like this freak.

You don't sound like the sort of person that likes an argument but I think it is time for one. If you say something as a parent she should respect your wishes and not continue to badger you and this is what should say to her.

oh tell her to take her nasty comments somewhere else, that you don't want to hear any more.
If she can't be happy for you then she isn't worth bothering with.

Just read your latest post. Meh to the age thing. I was 38 when dd was born, and at almost 45 still haven't completely ruled out another. Tell her to fuck off.

and plenty of people have babies at your age. Plenty of grandparents bring up children for one reaon or another. My mum is 54 but would be able to bring up my DCs (baby and toddler) if she needed to. When you're that age, your DD will be a teenager.

Sorry but knowing someone 20 years or 20 minutes makes no difference, shes a bitch plain and simple, tell her to piss off. She's undermining you just now, are you going to let her carry on doing it as your little one gets older and can understand what shes saying to you, it will have an effect on how your litte one views you if you do.

What's stopping you from telling her to cut it out?