to wonder why people give their child a name then don't use it?

[LordVolAuVent]

A different thread reminded me of this but I've always wondered it.

My name is a "diminuitive", my parents didn't like the long version and knew they would never use it. I think this is quite sensible, but people often don't believe that it's my real name, even call me by the long version and wonder why I don't respond (which occasionally vexes me, but I understand why, because it's fairly unusual it seems).

So, I wonder, why do people name their kids a name like Katherine or Rebecca but never actually use it, always use the diminuitives? I understand if it's a family name or something, but perhaps you don't really like it. I also understand that short names and nicknames do come about (my neighbours for example called their DD Rebecca and I'm pretty sure her school friends call her Becky, but her parents have only ever called her Rebecca - because that's the name they chose and liked) but I also know a lot of people who called their child something and immediately used a diminuitive. Why bother?

Is it that they don't think it's a "real name"?

(not meaning to be arsey, genuinely wondering)

I've never met anyone who didn't use their child's full name at least occsaionally.

How strange!

Could be because they like the diminuitive version as a child's name, but want the child to have the option of a more serious-sounding name if they want to be taken more seriously in their career in later life?

I have wondered this too, especially when you see it in Birth Annoucements in the paper. I do ponder that if you've decided you want to call your child Becky (to use your example), why not give them the name Becky rather than Rebecca?

But then I speak as someone who has given their DD a long-ish name with loads of common diminuitives but who always uses the full moniker.

I was christened one name (after my grandma) but even on my christening bracelet it is the shortened version.

Only the medical profession call me by my proper name.

If our lo had been a girl she would have been abigail jessie but called abbie but only because abbie jessie just didnt sound right

My DS2 is hardly ever called by his full name unless he is in trouble so I agree it's a bit odd. His nametapes at school say his full name tho.

And I speak as someone very much not keen on diminutives, the thing I loved abotu DS1 and DD's names is that you don't generally shorten them!

I like a formal name and a nickname. We like Ellie for a girl, but to me it's not a name in itself, just a nickname. Probably wouldn't look that grown up on a job app in the future!

I have a James and have never called him that. I just feel he has more options as to what he wants to call himself later on. James is a bit more grown up for a glass plaque

when I was pg with ds1 the boys name I had was Joshua - so when he was a boy that's what he was called.
When pg I had never thought of using Josh as a nickname.
Within a few days of birth he was Joshie, and remained as either Joshie or Josh for a few years, now he is Josh - to everyone.
I never think of him as Joshua, and no one ever calls him Joshua. Even writing Joshua doesn't seem like him. But that's the name on his birth certificate because that's who he was when we registered him.

I always call my DS by his full name. Really annoys me that other people think it is ok to shorten it and carry on even after they have been told he's name is xxx and I'd like you to call him by the name we have given to him.

well, my uncle was called one name, but called by his middle name. why didn't they just name him the way round they were going to call him?

dsis has a long name & our ddad decided to call her one version of it. she decided she hated the short version, and went back to the long version once she was a teen, so maybe people think it gives their children more options for later in life?

I have never been known by my first name (it's a hideous granny one) and mum has always called me by my middle name. She still can't satisfactorily explain why. Even her own mother thought better of giving her the same name.
Reason to kill mother no. 1.

We've done this with both our children - our son has a 'grown-up' first name, of which we use the baby-form day-to-day (but then he is only 2!), and our daughter has a 'grown-up' first name and a more fun middle name. We call her the middle name now, and she can have the first name on her CV when she sends off applications to be a lawyer :-)

Oh I agree the middle name as first name thing is really odd.

My Mum's name is like that - apparently it looked better that way round than the other, although I don't see it myself

My son is christened Thomas but has always been called Tom. My H and I have never called him Thomas and we asked his teachers to call him Tom. I'm quite sure he wouldn't respond if someone called him Thomas. Only official documentation has Thomas on it.

The reason? We liked Tom and wanted him to be called it, but we also wanted him to have a "proper" name for official purposes.

DD1 is Jessica. We called her Jessi for the majority of the first 4yrs of her life.... she then decided herself after starting school that she was to be called Jessica. I still refer to her as Jess or Jessi every now and then, but she is Jessica a lot more than she used to be.

DD2 is Rebecca. We have called her all sorts since she was born (Boo,Becca,Becky) but she likes Rebecca. Nursery call her Rebecca. I prefer Becca but it has to be her decision at the end of the day.

DS is Daniel. I have not, and could not call him Dan or Danny. He will always be Daniel to me!

"well, my uncle was called one name, but called by his middle name. why didn't they just name him the way round they were going to call him?"

My dad and uncle are the same. I was confused quite a lot as a child!

My husband has that weird using the middle name going on. I have not heard a satifactory explanation from his mum as to why she didn't just called him Middlename Firstname if it was Middlename she really wanted him to be known by. But who said this baby naming business was logical?

I'm not sure - I am a Katherine always called Kate, named after an aunt (also a Katherine known as Kate)

My parents obviously liked the short version, and it goes well with my older siblings names when you say them in succession, but I think in those days (50yrs ago) diminutives weren't officially used as names in themselves as they are now.

None of us (out of four siblings) have ever been called by our proper names by our parents.

I have a Rebecca, she will always be a Rebecca but she usually gets called all sorts of nicknames from Becky, Becca, Beccabop, Boo and Bex, they change with her age.
I didn't know her personality when she was born, her nicknames evolve as her personality evolves.

She can call herself what she wants when she is older but at least she has the option. Beccabop really doesn't look good on a cv.

a Dad came to parent's evening in October. I'd never met him before, so asked him which child he belonged to. He said 'Keira'. I looked baffled and said 'I think you may have the wrong classroom.'

He paused and said: 'oh - I forget- her Mother calls her Jessica. You probably know her as Jessica then.'

So - she had a name on her birth certificate (don't know which one it is) and her parents call her by different names. Neither one is her middle name, by the way.

Is it just me or is that odd?

I have a case of this.

DS3 was always going to be Takunda, perhaps shortened to Kunda when I cba to say the whole thing.

But 2 days after he was born our vicar wanted to announce that he'd been born but couldn't get her head around Takunda - so exH told her "oh TK" is fine........and so it was announced that TK had been born. And it kinds of stuck. So much so that when I did the Christenning invites when he was 18 months old I realised I ought to put that they were invited to the Christening of Takunda FULL NAME (TK) in brackets as some people may not have actually known who he was

I do call him Kunda/Takunda sometimes, but generally he's TK and if you ask him what his name is he'll tell you TK

Having said that - my dad has always been known by a shortened version of his middle name..........I think I was about 12 when I discovered that my dad's actual name wasn't what I thought it was at all

Why don't you think Tom is a proper name Fayrazzled? I think Tom is perfectly respectable. Could kind of see your point if it was Tommy, but not Tom.

I do understand this point though, and it is a valid reason with some names I think, but others are fine in the shortened version (ie not "baby" names) IMHO - like Jenny, Katie, Will, Josh for example.

Take Prince Harry - isn't is real name Henry? WTF is that about?

my dd3 is called Serena. everyone, until she started nursery, called her Nina. I dont know why. Even we still call her Nina at home, but school calls her Serena.