to wonder why people give their child a name then don't use it?

[LordVolAuVent]

A different thread reminded me of this but I've always wondered it.

My name is a "diminuitive", my parents didn't like the long version and knew they would never use it. I think this is quite sensible, but people often don't believe that it's my real name, even call me by the long version and wonder why I don't respond (which occasionally vexes me, but I understand why, because it's fairly unusual it seems).

So, I wonder, why do people name their kids a name like Katherine or Rebecca but never actually use it, always use the diminuitives? I understand if it's a family name or something, but perhaps you don't really like it. I also understand that short names and nicknames do come about (my neighbours for example called their DD Rebecca and I'm pretty sure her school friends call her Becky, but her parents have only ever called her Rebecca - because that's the name they chose and liked) but I also know a lot of people who called their child something and immediately used a diminuitive. Why bother?

Is it that they don't think it's a "real name"?

(not meaning to be arsey, genuinely wondering)

So I see I'm the first to have a child known by their middle name! It came about like this - the name we chose was Honey, and although we love it, we could see it might be a problem when applying for 'proper' jobs later in life, so we've given her a more traditional name for a first name (but a name which we also love) and call her Honey now :-)

I have a very long three syllable name and it has never been used in full by anyone I know, not even my parents when they were cross with me!

Tocattanfudge I've only just realised who you are!

I think Harry is a fairly accepted nn for Henry isn't it?

A friend of mine's dad is called firstname middlename Justin surname. His mum told him they gave him Justin as a stage name should he ever need it!

My eldest DS was christened Joshua but has always been Josh or Joshie (unless he's been naughty ), although school call him Joshua, even though they asked us what we preferred
I named him Joshua, knowing we would shorten it because a) our surnames also begins with J and is one syllable so Josh J... didn't sound right, and b) because I feel that the shortened version isn't a "proper" name IYKWIM.

However, my name has never been shortened, even though there are many diminuitives of it, and I hate it when people take it upon themselves to shorten my name!!

really bibbity! I am frequently occasionaly heard to spit out the DS's full (first, second and surname) when cross at them.

So in the case of DS1 10 syllables, DS2 7 syllables, and DS3 8 syllables.

Mind it is a bit of a mouthful

In our case:

• we like the full name AND the diminuitive and genuinely couldn't decide between them

• one is quite formal, one less so (and there are other diminuitves) - she can decide later what she wants to use

• we use both versions, so do her friends. School uses the long version, because we wanted her to learn to write her "proper" name and school is a formal environment.

• her naughty name is ALWAYS the long version

withorwithyou - I haven't got a clue who you are

I have a long name (Jennifer) that hardly anyone has ever called me, has always been Jen or Jenny. I am glad that my parents gave me the choice though and I always use Jennifer for formal/professional things which I prefer to Jenny. I think its just about giving the child a choice, as they might not want to be known as a 'nickname' all their life IYSWIM.

No you wouldn't toccata, I have namechanged a billion times!

dh and i were discussing this the other day we both like the name Katie. but Kate is better or a grown up, or do you go for Katherine...

I assume the custom arose because sons/daughters used to be named regularly after the father/mother years ago. So you'd need a Thomas/Tom/Tommy or Margaret/Maggie/Meg to distinguish them all.

withorwithoutyou - it may very well be, but my point is why? Just call him Harry if that's what you're going to call him.

Coming from a family where James Alan 'Smith' has always been known as Alan, where Arthur has been called Tony for the past 60-odd years and where Albert Edwith 'Smith' was known to all but his closest family as Ted, I really have no idea, LordVolAuVent.

Because it's a family name? Because you want to? Because it's entirely your own business how/what you choose to name your child.

I don't understand what you don't understand.

My name is Catherine.....there are 3 of us at work (one spelt Katherine), however I am the only one known by that name...one is Cathy, the other is Kate!!

YANBU. Some of my DC have the short form on their birth certs as I have a long name and never used it, only the doctors use it, it's too formal. Many a doctor goes by the name Tom or Jack these days anyway. I prefer short names. I also see shortened as different to nn. Nicknames to me are Dazza, Izzy etc which are fun made up around the name names and not shortened forms by chopping off letters eg Ben, Sam.

One of the DCs chose the name she's known as herself as a baby -- it's quite close to her 'real', 4-syllable name in some ways but much shorter.

I was named an English version of my name, but have always been known by the Irish version, and it's a pain in the neck.

Not as bad as poor Keira/Jessica though .

Misdee I think if you go for Katherine, you get the choice. I am Katherine at the hospital or bank, Kate to most friends and family, Katey to DH. 3 names for the price of one

Hi Ladyintheradiator - I approve of your friends taste in names! Happy to be your Mumsnet friend..

Lord VolauVent. at Justin.

I think if I decided my DC needed a stage name I might glam it up a little more than that.

Because you're giving birth to an actual human being who will one day be an adult with his/her own opinions, and it gives them options.

My brothers were always known by the diminutive forms of their names as children. As adults they have both chosen to use the full versions for work, at least under some circumstances, and they had the option to do that because they'd been officially given the longer name in the first place.

We named our DD Evelyn Boo. Evelyn as I loved the name, and Boo as that is what we'd called the "bump", when we didn't know if we were having a boy or call.
We always anticipated we'd call her Evie Boo. I spent the first few days chanting "Evelyn, Evelyn, Evelyn" in my head as I was so sleep deprived, I was terrified I'd forget what I called her.
We never really went down the route of Evie Boo as we expected we would do, she's just Evelyn. She is four now, and gets upset if people call her Evie. I do wonder what she will be like when she gets older, if she'll suddenly shorten when she's in her teens.

My DD is a Katharine who is commonly known as Kitty. It is a family name but more importantly she can call herself any diminuation she chooses when she is older - if I named her Kitty she would have no choice in the matter.