to think she got what my friend deserved?

[mummysgoingmad]

Ok quick run down

She's been having an affair with a married man since October.

In may his wife found out and he "moved in" with my friend.

He moved in on the monday and by the following monday her house had been destroyed by this mans wife (who he let in while my friend was at work) and he left my friend and went back to his wife.

She told all her friends and family (even her 80 year old gran) that they were an item.
She lives in my home town and news travels very fast as its a little town in the middle of no where (I say its like living in a episode of eastenders which is why i moved.) so everyone knew in a matter of days.

Now everyones laughing at her, and he's made a complete fool of her.

Now i know she's my friend, but i cant help but think she got what she deserved.

ambu?

my grammer is awful. apologies!

YABU, yes.

There's something deeply unpleasant about people who enjoy seeing other people in misery.

YABVU. No-one deserves that - good grief.

YABU. You say this woman is your friend?! She may have done something awful, but it's horrible to be glad that she's suffering so much for it.

i take it she isnt actually your friend?

YABU. You are no friend.

YABU and you know it. Your friend was wrong, so was the husband, and the wife was wrong to damage property, but you are also wrong for being satistied at the outcome.

YABVVVVU - someone she thought cared for her let someone else into her house and they wrecked it? I hope the police are involved?

I dont agree with affairs AT ALL, but your friend was not the only one in the affair,and the fella seems to have got off scott free

and you sound like a fine "friend" TBH

You're such a nice person... NOT

YABU. Apart from the fact that you're condoning criminal damage, she wasn't the married one. He was. Like it or not, your friend made no promises to the wife and had no commitment to her, although of course some may argue that she had a moral duty to the other woman.

YABU. What a terrible friend you must be.

I must be a very slow typer as there were no replies when I started

i see everyone else agrees with me though!

i dont enjoy seeing her in misery far from it. In fact myself and my other friend have been the only 2 people who aren't laughing at her. I do feel sorry for her, but imagine how the other woman felt when she found out that her husband of 25 years had an affair with a girl the same age as her son.

Oh God, now you're gonna try to justify yourself.

Yes but you are still being awful. I am so gald I am not your friend. You sound smug and sanctimonious. Your poor friend - she is probably devastated and you are writing about it on an internet forum.

Well, here's a radical thought. Perhaps she should have been angry at him??

Is there not very much going on in this town for such a trivial event to cause so much net twitching and sneering? Name and shame, please, and remind me never to go there.

I never ment she deserved to get her house trashed..god no! i travelled home with my ds to help her clean it up and stayed with her over night to make sure she was ok.

Actually she's more than a friend, she's been in my life since i was born, i used to get her old clothes when she grew out of them.

I do not have the judgey pants of steel to decide what other people 'deserve'. I have no doubt the affair was a horrible shock to his wife. I know affairs are painful and damaging, but she is not the only one responsible here and I would be feeling bad for her if it were my friend. I would not be posting on MN with a tone that, frankly, sounded like an old crone watching a hanging and gloating.

the age difference is irrelevant to what happened, though you might have a problem with that personally, thats not the issue here

so, you say you are not laughing at her? but its Ok to say "she deserved it" on a public forum, giving details of her private life from which she could easily ID herself??

you are unbelievable!!!!!

and you still call yourself her friend

Actually OP (sticks neck out) I am with you. Little sympathy for your friend - however, if it was my friend consorting with a married man (and father?) she would have been given very short shrift from me; to her face, so I guess I wouldn't have been quietly happy at the outcome behind her back. She would have been under no illusions re. my views - having been given both barrels at an early stage.

Yes of course the husband has more guilt to bear than the single woman, but doesn't mean the single woman is innocent on all charges.

Maisiethemorningsidecat - i'm afraid not..this is the local gossip. This man and his family owned a shop which they are now selling and moving away.

so glad your not my fiend

She shouldn't have carried on an affair with a married man. He shouldn't have had an affair as a married man. If you act like this, and things go tits up, it's deserved. YANBU about that.

You shouldn't be gleeful or satisfied about it if she is your friend, but I'm not sure your OP suggests you are. If you are, YABU about that.

If it was my friend, I'd feel sorry for her out of compassion because it's hard not to when it's someone you care about upset. But I would have told her from the start that I thought what she was doing was shocking, that I disagreed with it totally and that she shouldn't be surprised if things ended badly.

Ih ate the way women round on women liie this.
The one who comes ot looking like an utter prick is him.

And you acually, Mummy, come to think of it.