Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think she got what my friend deserved?

116 replies

mummysgoingmad · 06/06/2010 22:53

Ok quick run down

She's been having an affair with a married man since October.

In may his wife found out and he "moved in" with my friend.

He moved in on the monday and by the following monday her house had been destroyed by this mans wife (who he let in while my friend was at work) and he left my friend and went back to his wife.

She told all her friends and family (even her 80 year old gran) that they were an item.
She lives in my home town and news travels very fast as its a little town in the middle of no where (I say its like living in a episode of eastenders which is why i moved.) so everyone knew in a matter of days.

Now everyones laughing at her, and he's made a complete fool of her.

Now i know she's my friend, but i cant help but think she got what she deserved.

ambu?

OP posts:
hmc · 06/06/2010 23:46

Oh fgs SolidGoldBrass - because people do not share your perspective does not make them 'twattish' - grow up! I don't agree with you that affairs are good things (people are welcome to jump ship from an unhappy marriage - but separate first before embarking on another relationship)..however because you believe that affairs are okay does not make you a twat in my eyes - just wrong (shrugs).

PortiaNovmerriment · 06/06/2010 23:46

And I happen to agree with SGB to a large extent. Relationships are complex messy things, and people shit on each other. Why everybody else feels entitled to pile in and 'punish' who they think are the wrongdoers is beyond me, really. Who else's business is it? We don't know the whole story, and while you can sympathise with somebody who seems to have been lied to, it is hardly right to say that they gives anyone carte blanche to trash their house, or weigh in with their uninformed judgements.

Magdelena · 06/06/2010 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellybeans · 06/06/2010 23:48

YANBU

Original poster
mummysgoingmad · 06/06/2010 23:49

lifeissweet - as i've said i dont agree with the wife trashing her house, she should never have been there and he should never have let her in. But she does deserve to have her feelings hurt and her ego bruised. This has hopefully shown her never to get involved with a married man again.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 06/06/2010 23:50

OMG what a dreadful friend?

I would defend my friend to teh death (even if I didnt think they were right and the only person I would be telling that to would be my friend!)

The bloke is in the wrong here as is his wife!
your friend is not married, not made any vows etc

and even if she was the one having the affair I would still support my friend even if I disapproved because thats what friends do

porcamiseria · 06/06/2010 23:50

nice friend you are

Vallhala · 06/06/2010 23:51

"This has hopefully shown her never to get involved with a married man again."

So, in anotherwords, you hope it's 'taught her a lesson'?

Nice.

maddy68 · 06/06/2010 23:51

and she HAS had her feelimgs hurt - her man has gone back to his wife and she hasn't got a loyal friend to support her

maddy68 · 06/06/2010 23:51

and she HAS had her feelimgs hurt - her man has gone back to his wife and she hasn't got a loyal friend to support her

Nancy66 · 06/06/2010 23:53

You sound vile.

If you're so into people getting what they deserve, maybe she'll have your husband next.

hmc · 06/06/2010 23:54

Ahem, her man??? (although why either woman would want him is beyond me)

hmc · 06/06/2010 23:55

Ouch, low shot Nancy. Proud of that one?

Original poster
mummysgoingmad · 06/06/2010 23:55

But i have been supporting her! I have told her in the past what she was doing was wrong, i didnt agree with it and i didn't want to discuss it. That said i traveled home with my ds to be with her and support her. She knows what i think about affairs, so i dont really have much pity when it goes tits up!

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 06/06/2010 23:56

maddy68: "I would defend my friend to teh death (even if I didnt think they were right and the only person I would be telling that to would be my friend!)"

So if you were in a hypothetical situation where you were in a room with your friend who was having an affair with a married man, and the man's wife came and confronted your friend about it, and asked YOU if you thought your friend had behaved badly, you would STILL defend your friend and say that what she was doing was perfectly ok?

porcamiseria · 06/06/2010 23:56

If I was friends with the wife I'd side with her (and buy her a gold club)
If I was friend with the mistress I'd defend her and support her

thats what friends are for. no?????

Magdelena · 06/06/2010 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mummysgoingmad · 06/06/2010 23:57

Nancy66 i'm not going to rise to you bait!

OP posts:
PortiaNovmerriment · 06/06/2010 23:58

Can't you see how unpleasant posting on a public forum in the spirit of schadenfraude looks though?

Although I have to say that your OP hasn't yanked my chain in anything like the same way as Magdelena's responses has.

hmc · 06/06/2010 23:58

Errr no! - I don't love my friends come what me. In fact I am not sure I love anyone completely unconditionally

hmc · 06/06/2010 23:58

'come what may'

Magdelena · 06/06/2010 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PortiaNovmerriment · 07/06/2010 00:01

Maybe, Magdelena- I will scroll back and check. But I think the red mist descended when I saw the word 'whore'.

hmc · 07/06/2010 00:01

Off to bed - I hope this discussion remains (relatively) civil. Always interesting (if frustrating) to hear different perspectives

Magdelena · 07/06/2010 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread