to expect good wanking etiquette?

[bashon]

eg thou shan't leave thine wanky tissues anywhere else but in thine bin.

Blather - of course! An access hole! How could I be so blind?
Let's not discuss possible causes of blindness, though, eh?

This thread is a whole nightmare waiting to happen, as I have a 3 year old.

My ex apparently used to wank sitting on the toilet, then stand up and fire into the bowl. Wouldn't that just be a little...distracting?

Chocolate - points for considerate hygienic self pleasuring. Talk of pint glasses and clingfilm has led dp to extend range of household goods and now talks of 'pleasuring a bowl' from the new bargain crockery set. Last seen doing something vigorous with a tea towel. Oh, dear god.
He still wants a definite answer on the glass of liver.

Oh god the knitted wank mitten, has made me think of the breakfast cereal that are 'knitted by nanas', puke!

This thread is hilarious, thank gord I've got a girl (although whole other set of issues to deal with at that age).

Am in process of patening my idea and am torn between calling it the Love Glove or the Happy Hand or possibly Your Five Fingered Friend...any preferences?^

Haha

I would love to see a 'Dragons' Den' pitch for the above

re: Dragons' Den

previously mentioned..
oops, hadn't read all thread at the time.....

A friend of mine at school had a 'wank bear'
Legend has it that at a house party it was thrown out of the window and the toddler from next door ran off with it

Morelli - just not as messy. Judging by reminiscences of being 12 ish on here on previous threads, you should be careful with electric toothbrushes.

My DP takes his boxers off and leaves them on the floor next to his bedside table. And if he feels the need to wank, he justs picks them up off the floor and mops up with them. Then he'll put them in the laundry when he gets up in the morning.

Anyone remember the "hedghog cam / wanking with sandpaper" thread? - now that was funny.

Cheers, Alan.

Only the ancient ones about wanking though.

But welcome nonetheless.

weird

alan48 How did you even find this thread. Did you join then decide to search for threads with wanking in the title? You are a weirdo methinks.

There's a wonderful episode on the subject in the incomparable 'Seinfeld', where the four friends have a contest to see who can go longest without doing 'it'. See
www.imdb.com/title/tt0697679/

Pretty sure I'm going to have to change my name now.

By the way, meant to add that I'm a keen knitter ... but a wank gloves is a new one. Most exotic thing I've made is a coat for a poorly cat that feels the cold.

smug thank fuck i have 2 DDs

One of my friends had a wank in the back of a car. His mum was driving the car, his gran was in the front passenger seat

Killed that thread Many apologies

Over the years I have had quite a few call outs, to fix guttering and down pipes, that are blocked, quite often the teenage boy of the house who has been given the roof conversion room, and has taken to lobbing the used tissues(and socks) out the velux window, it's a surprisingly common problem.

Does anyone have a knitting pattern for wank mittens? I've got loads of wool to use up and hubby usually uses my flange towel which is so annoying.