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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave DS alone in house while we go to pub?

332 replies

LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 20:57

Let me explain...

We are going on holiday with my parents and brother. We go every year and usually we camp but this year we're getting a house because DS 15months a bit young for camping (bad sleeper and noisy!). It's a tiny little village, v quiet, no crime ever as far as I know. The house has a garden, with a gate that leads onto road behind, where there is a pub.

Today my mum suggested that one night we could all go out together for a meal/drinks at the pub as it's so close we could take the baby monitor. The way things are positioned, it would be just like sitting out in the house garden, if the garden was a bit longer iyswim!

I'm not sure how I feel about this. She really sees no problem in it, we would obviously lock up the house, it would take barely a minute to get back if he woke (which he rarely does at that time), and anything untoward would be heard over the baby monitor. This all makes sense but a little thing in my mind is a bit [unsure emoticon]... I'm sure other nights we will stay in/BBQ, they will babysit so me and DH can go out, and we will stay in when they go out, but it would be nice to all go just one night.

It's not a big deal at all, she isn't going to get pissy or anything if we don't do it, but just wondering would you do it? Judge away

OP posts:

LJBrownie · 31/05/2010 00:17

sorry - it was too tempting not to make the joke

YouCantTeuchThis · 31/05/2010 00:17

See, RRW, few people advised that the OP go...just didn't see the need for all of the mccann references and suchlike!

Perhaps you have completely missed the vibe of this particular thread due to your Chablis, dear?

RedRedWine1980 · 31/05/2010 00:19

Nope, im replying to the 'oh nothing would happen, some people are so pathetic' type posts. How the feck do you know what is happening in a house your child is resident in but you aren't? Of course maybe im forgetting telepathy is a common talent for certain MN'ers...

YouCantTeuchThis · 31/05/2010 00:20

I live in a verrrrry large house! Telepathy is a must!

[off to west wing to check on DS's]

RedOnHerHead · 31/05/2010 00:22

Ladies, this is getting very nasty. Come on now.

HanBanan · 31/05/2010 00:24

It's just not safe.

You'd worry your arse off all night and with good reason.

YouCantTeuchThis · 31/05/2010 00:25

Ach, it's not nasty...OP has made up her mind, and has responded well to a bit of well-intentioned/well-lubricated angst

I'm still smiling! (see?)

Original poster

LordVolAuVent · 31/05/2010 00:33

I'm off to bed, didn't realise the time.

Thanks for responses, agree totally that if not 100% comfortable, I shouldn't do it, all other issues aside, and that goes for everything in life.

Take care of yourselves, and each other

OP posts:

RedOnHerHead · 31/05/2010 00:37

Night LVAV - have a fab holiday anyway!

differentnameforthis · 31/05/2010 01:32

The way I see it, is yes, the risk of fire/gas leak/kidnap etc is small. But it is a risk.

I bet the McCanns never thought it was a risk either, did they? They were happy to go off & eat because they didn't think anything would happen....and it did. Was that meal alone worth losing their first born for?

And there have been news articles about children left on own & a fire broke out, again I bet their parents didn't think it would happen to them, either.

The risk maybe small, but these things DO happen. I would ask myself if I could live with the consequences of my actions, should anything happen.

scottishmummy · 31/05/2010 01:42

i ask myself why people feel need to habitually berate McCann family rather than the perpetrator.guess it is easy and quick to drag detritus around internet

SolidGoldBrass · 31/05/2010 02:01

SM: It's mostly the people who have decided that now they are parents they can't have lives, and are bitter and envious of those who do, who squawk to this level ('Bwaaah! I haven't set foot out of the house since I conceived! How very dare you wonder about going to the shop by yourself? If I have to live in a cage, so should everyone else! Bwaaaah!)

differentnameforthis · 31/05/2010 04:10

If the last 2 posts are aimed at my post, I do have a life, thanks! I just don't feel the need to leave my child alone in the house while I have that life...

And SM, we don't actually KNOW what happened to Madeleine, so saying that we need to blame someone else isn't really helpful. For all we know, she could have walked off through the unlocked door!

I am not berating the McCanns, simply using them as a the typical 'it won't happen to me' attitude.

It can & it does happen & I prefer to lessen that risk by making sure my children always have a suitable guardian with them.

It has nothing to do with being envious not bitter.

differentnameforthis · 31/05/2010 04:12

envious nor bitter.

thumbwitch · 31/05/2010 04:29

I would take him with in a buggy. If you're in the pub garden, it should be ok (unless raining) and he'll probably sleep there quite happily.

But then DS gets pretty upset if he wakes up and no one's around - even the couple of minutes it takes to get back to the house could have Consequences, if it were my DS.

joanneg20 · 31/05/2010 06:06

I like to think I'm quite rational about risk, but for me the key factor would be that he'd be locked in a house and you don't know who else has keys to that house. So actually, you can't make a proper assessment of the risk. This is why it's different to being in your own back garden where (presumably) only you and trusted friends/family have your keys. I wouldn't do it.

joanneg20 · 31/05/2010 06:07

'key' factor - no pun intended!

chickenlickin · 31/05/2010 06:53

do what you feel is right. We have a really long garden and take our monitor with us, so yes probably not much difference. Sit in the garden and take loads of wine with you - much cheaper also!!!!!!!!!!!

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/05/2010 07:42

couldn't you go but take it in turns to have one of you sit in the house for half an hour at a time to babysit for DS, you are 5 adults so you would each only have to do it once on the basis you were at the pub for say 2.5 hours, and you could order the food staggered so 3 of you ate together and then another two of you afterwards IYSWIM....i know it isn't quite the same as all 5 of you being out and eating at the same time but it is a pub so quite relaxed and is still a night off the cooking....and peace of mind for you not worrying about DS.

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/05/2010 07:54

oh to add to the above, my mum and dad left my sister and i in a hotel room in the US 30 years ago and went across the road for dinner (we were a little older than your DS) and popped back every so often to check. when they got back they found us both wandering round the lobby together, to this day it still sends shivers down their spines about the whole thing.

when DD1 was 5 months we went to a wedding and the whole hotel was occupied with the wedding guests and we put DD to bed in the room and stayed downstairs at the reception with the monitor and went back to check every 20 mins or so but it wasn't relaxing at all and i have to say i definitely wouldn't do this again and have not done anything similar with DD2.

posieparker · 31/05/2010 07:59

I wouldn't do it. Risks may be small but imagine you took the risk and something bed happened? Even if it were a freak accident, not being there because you wanted to go to a pub garden instead of the actual garden would be soul destroying. Why don't you pay the extra prices of a pint, from the pub, and drink in your garden?

StealthPolarBear · 31/05/2010 08:03

"How the feck do you know what is happening in a house your child is resident in but you aren't?"
So you're another one who wouldn't sit in your own garden?

I've actually put my finger on what bothers me about this. If you're in your own garden, you have the doors / windows wide open, and you tend to be constantly nipping in for one reason or another. in this situation, presumably you'd lock up to go out

noshouting · 31/05/2010 08:17

Get a babysitter and enjoy your evening, you will have a much better time.

CaptainUnderpants · 31/05/2010 08:25

OK how about a comprimise..

If the garden is that close to the pub , stay at home but have a meal in the garden from the pub food. Explain to the landlord nicely what your position is ie have a young baby , don't want to leave it etc. Your inlaws if they are that desperate to use the pub can go there whilst waiting for the food then bring it over.

If the garden is that close to the pub then I see that that eating in your garden will be a good comprimise.

thesecondcoming · 31/05/2010 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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