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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked by the nasty bullying style of some of the threads on MN.

348 replies

Dismayed · 26/05/2010 11:47

Having just read the thread about whether or not we should be ok about male nusery workers taking DDs to the toilet I have to say I am completely shocked at the aggressive, bullying comments that the poor OP received. FWIW I agree that we should not discriminate against males working in childcare but think that a lot of the battering comments were frankly out of order! As I read the thread I had that sick feeling that I recognised from my schooldays when I witnessed someone being bullied! I'm new to MN and have found a lot of the info and threads helpful but am so disappointed that, instead of finding a source that I had hoped would be non-judgemental and supportive, I have just connected myself to more of that cynical nastiness that I am so fed-up with on fb and in the media!

OP posts:
FranSanDisco · 26/05/2010 12:43

Hullygully, you are bad! Much respect and a high five coming your way

WombFrootShoot · 26/05/2010 12:44
Callisto · 26/05/2010 12:44

Actually, Thumbwitch, I thought the general tone of the answers was very lynch mob in a 'what the fuck are you on about' agressive way. There were plenty of personal insults too.

muddleduck · 26/05/2010 12:44

not against the rules.

teensy bit cliquey though

is there a record for number of threads referred to?

think we're at 5 so far...

thesunshinesbrightly · 26/05/2010 12:45

Don't post in AIBU if you don't wanna be flamed or don't post at all on MN.

muddleduck · 26/05/2010 12:45

now that is a silly rule

thumbwitch · 26/05/2010 12:47

I thought "piece" was breadnbutter rather than a sangwich - am I wrang?

Callisto - you are of course entitled to your opinion of the matter but it didn't read that way to me - but then I will admit I only read the first and last pages - it might have got more unpleasant on the second page, for e.g. Vehement disagreement is not necessarily lynch mobbish though.

Bucharest · 26/05/2010 12:47

"lynch mob" descended on the OP.

I daresay the nursery worker she's implying is a paedophile is thinking about lynch mobs as well.

Hullygully · 26/05/2010 12:47

Quiche? Nom nom.

Where's that LMNVH gone?

I need more rules.

Hullygully · 26/05/2010 12:49

Oh don't talk about that nursery groaning with rampant paedophiles (so sad to have such a hot topic centred on a word that so few can spell), it's boring.

Let's have more words and rules.

Bucharest · 26/05/2010 12:53

Rampant? Like up on their hind legs?

Callisto · 26/05/2010 12:53

It just seemed to go from a fairly innocent (if rather unbreasonable) AIBU question to lots of people screaminbg 'Oh my God I can't believe how unreasonable you are, are you an idiot?' It seemed a bit unpleasant and unnecessary to me.

Bucharest - I don't think the OP was implying that the nursery worker was a paedophile, however I was merely referring to the answers to her question.

Hullygully · 26/05/2010 12:54

Is it bad form to start a thread connected in a very tangential manner to another one or two?

SpringHeeledJack · 26/05/2010 12:54

be dead nice to LMH. She got a right kicking on an AIBU thread I saw tother day. (I prefer to go only on Skipping Thro Daisies type threads but wandered into AIBU by mistake)

Dear me! don't some people love to stick the boot in to complete strangers!

baffles me. I'm only hateful to me own

muddleduck · 26/05/2010 12:55

not bad form.
bit poncey though.

SpringHeeledJack · 26/05/2010 12:55
thesunshinesbrightly · 26/05/2010 12:56

I only posted on another thread about bloody fruitshoots and get lynched,so ridulous.

So me think's i should take note of my own advice.

Hullygully · 26/05/2010 12:56

SHJ - did she use any unusual words at all?

LetThereBeRock · 26/05/2010 12:56

A piece is a sandwich. You can have piece and jam,piece and cheese,piece and ham etc.

wannaBe · 26/05/2010 12:58

I think ibu has been mn's downfall.

I think the trend of "don't post in ibu if you don't want to be flamed/well this is ibu, what did you expect" has a really nasty undertone tbh. There might as well be a disclaimer on ibu that says "we reserve the right to be as nasty as we like here and it will still be your fault for posting here."

Would it be acceptable to have places in rl where it was ok to be as derogatory/nasty/abusive to people as you liked and the onus was on them not to go there rather than on the abusers to be civil?

UndomesticHousewife · 26/05/2010 12:58

thesunshinesbrightly, is that the answer then? Don't post on Mumsnet if you don't want to be flamed or bullied? Just because it's the AIBU section, doesn't mean it's a free for all to start on the abuse, it says a lot about the women (and men) who do that, and I'll bet in RL they wouldn't say boo to a goose.
It seems that beacause it's an anonymous forum people feel free to unleash their true personality.

LittleMrsHappy · 26/05/2010 12:58

maybe im just in a mood, but each to their own! As long as your all having fun...

wannaBe · 26/05/2010 13:02

and someone said further down that we get at least one of these threads a week. Doesn't that say something?

muddleduck · 26/05/2010 13:02

oh fgs LMH.

tis light hearted banter.

and I think bawbag is a great word.

thesunshinesbrightly · 26/05/2010 13:05

By UndomesticHousewife Wed 26-May-10 12:58:27
thesunshinesbrightly, is that the answer then? Don't post on Mumsnet if you don't want to be flamed or bullied? Just because it's the AIBU section, doesn't mean it's a free for all to start on the abuse, it says a lot about the women (and men) who do that, and I'll bet in RL they wouldn't say boo to a goose.
It seems that beacause it's an anonymous forum people feel free to unleash their true personality.

You are very welcome to know who i am if your really that interested, i don't say anything on here that i'm not prepared to say in real.