To be shocked by the nasty bullying style of some of the threads on MN.

[Dismayed]

Having just read the thread about whether or not we should be ok about male nusery workers taking DDs to the toilet I have to say I am completely shocked at the aggressive, bullying comments that the poor OP received. FWIW I agree that we should not discriminate against males working in childcare but think that a lot of the battering comments were frankly out of order! As I read the thread I had that sick feeling that I recognised from my schooldays when I witnessed someone being bullied! I'm new to MN and have found a lot of the info and threads helpful but am so disappointed that, instead of finding a source that I had hoped would be non-judgemental and supportive, I have just connected myself to more of that cynical nastiness that I am so fed-up with on fb and in the media!

If you really think bullying is taking place (and not just strongly expressed differences of opinion) then please report the posts to mumsnet HQ. That is more effective then starting a thread about a thread.

this sort of thing makes me so concerned about the state of the world today.

Was it in AIBU?

I think that's kind of generally expected isn't it, that people will give an opinion and sometimes it might be onoe which tells teh OP they are being unreasonable?

YANBU

"all's fair in love and AIBU" is not an excuse.

there is a lot of it about and it makes me quite sad.

Dismayed - there is plenty of good on mumsnet but you do have to have a slightly thick skin and be able to filter the good from the bad.

Arf at Hully

I do so admire people who bravely stand up to bullies by starting threads about them.

Dismayed - barely a week goes by when someone doesn't start a thread pretty much along these lines.

Yes, people can be harsh at times, but you have to balance that against the huge amount of support and advice that you also get here, and then you have to work out for yourself whether you think the good outweighs the bad. If so, stick around. If not - there are other forums.

again? OK, will look at the thread in q and see if it seems to amount to bullying, rather than strong differences of opinion before saying anything much.

OP - if you are new(ish), someone should have mentioned that it is generally considered poor form to start a thread about another thread.

why is it tho?

Yes, but then I would say that!, I reported a thread to MN, after I was told I had "borderline Munchausen, (sp) ", it might be AIBU, but its not a fofmum to slate, and be vile disgusting idiots.

Contact MN, its the best for all, and in my own experience they were very compilable.

but it hard to tell someone they're talking rubbish in a nice way especially when they actually want everyone to agree with them . I posted constructively on that thread (I hope) but she was talking shite imho

love mn being compilable.

I think any thread that mentions that hot potato of childcare and peados is going to kick off

what on earth did she expect tho????

why is it bad form to start a thread about another thread? says who? MN god? happens all the time IMO

sorry but this "its bad form on MN" things really annoys me! HUN, lotsluv

Hello happypiglet!

Mwah mwah

all this 'don't start a thread about a thread" stuff is bullshit.

I've been on here for ages under various names and I think this is a real issue.

I know I've been guilty of this in the past, but it really pisses me off when people feel the need to pile on to take the piss out of people who have already been told countless times that the are BU.

the thread about someone wanting prospective guardians was a classic case where someone had a genuinely upsetting issue that was responded to in a really rude and upsetting way.

I think we get so used to the tone of AIBU that we think this is a license to behave in a way that can (sometimes) be unnecessarily upsetting.

Some posters have the ability to do this with tact/comedy (yes hully I mean you) but others just come across as not giving a shit about the feelings of others.

I don't know why it's bad form - it just has been said since moldiegate for ages now. Was actually surprised no one else had said it before me. I think the general idea is that you take it up with the people on the thread in question rather than starting a separate one.

compilable

MN, removed the thread for me,

MN is like driving in your car and coming across a driver who annoys you. You react differently than you would face to face. Some wanabe bullies get to be bullies when in RL they are invisible nobodies, allegedly . Let it wash over you, enjoy the bits that are good and stick 2 fingers up to the bad.

why is it bad form to start a thread about another thread ?

Yellowskin monkeys

thats all I am prepared to say

why thank you. I try to act with love.

I often think people are a little too sheeplike. They are keen to fall in with the general tenor of the thread in the way they would follow the playground leader. But you can change it with love (sometimes).

Bitching about an OP off their original thread is rude.

Starting a new thread on a related topic is sensible.

Only reason I can think of for caring about what is the 'done thing' is to maake it clear you are not a miguided newbie who doesn't know the 'rules'

What is compilable and may I aspire to it? . I need to improve my academic vocabulary to insult intelligently

I am afraid you are too late, Fran (gt name btw). I have already compiled them into my scrapbook. Can you hear their little cries? They don't like being glued and squashed.

There have always been very opinionated people on MN, but I do think that some of the posters these days seem very aggressive and only post to insult and hurt people. Also, it is possible to disagree very strongly with someone without resorting to personal insults.

Bad form to start a thread about a thread is it? Who decides what is good or bad form then?