to think some of you are really nasty?

[Ilovemash]

That's it really, I can't see why some of you feel the need to be nasty/judgemental/vindictive and bitchy to some of the posters on here.

Some of what I read, I would class as bullying and we all know bullies have inferiority complexes and/or self loathing.

I thought we were all grown ups ? If you have children and they see you act like this at home then you are setting a terrible example.

This is not the school play ground, I think some of you need to grow up and realise it's not cool to be a bully.

I think Mumsnet should change it's name to BITCHNET !

Fanjo - at first glance I read the bis cuit as something else

I've posted lots of topics asking for advice, and been given lots.

Yes, I have. And I've said so on that thread, which the OP has an outside chance of seeing and reading. That is the point of it all.

YANBU in terms of having your own view.

However, we ALL have our own views... and will express them on the boards quite often.

People will disagree with each other - that's life - and people can learn from it. Quite often people will post things to get the views of others... that's the point of posting, you want the views of others who may agree with you, or disagree.

maybe I should have put that in it... [not brave enough]

yes, and I have stood up and said "oi, that's a bit unfair" and got a kicking for it. I have been (snidely) accused of being a troll, because I hadn't read other posts by the OP in question, but I still stood by my conviction.

Why not do the same? it garners a bit more respect than starting catty threads demanding we all be fluffy and huggy- that is not why MN is so popular.

Yes toccatanfudge, it is too nice to be indoors, I am out now too.

If this thread makes even just 1 person think about their actions today then it's worth it.

Rockbird - are you bullying me [cries]

I will hear nothing said against Mumsnet, I had the worst day ever yesterday (all ended well) and got so much support I was humbled.

(from the ladies on the SN boards, admittedly, who go a bit easier on each other than peeps on AIBU)

This isn't meant to be a catty thread, just to say how surprised I am by people - maybe I am naive?

I think sometimes people can be a bit abrasive, especially on AIBU. There is a message to say that this board in particular can be a bit like that, but I also think that sometimes people post here when they'd be better off using another one of the boards.

There are some big personalities on Mumsnet, each with their own posting styles and it takes a while to get to recognise them and take their posts in the way they are intended. Don't get me wrong, just because they are regulars and have been around for a long time doesn't mean I agree with all they say, or think they can say what they like, but I have found I'm less taken aback by some comments having had the chance to get to know them (in a superficial sense of course).

That said, I have seen incidents where thoughtless and nasty comments have been made (not necessarily by regulars btw) and on the whole those posters have been picked up on it. Sometimes too, an OP does get ganged up on, but usually the nature of the OP has ruffled feathers.

It's easy to use this forum to let off steam and to forget yourself a bit (especially after a glass or two of wine!). I know I have to watch myself sometimes and I wouldn't class myself and nasty or a bully.

It should not be called BITCHNET but BLOOMINLOVELYPEEPSNET.

I think there is no problem with differing opinions or a good debate. However when people come on and say things to a poster like why don't you just go and F* Off and nothing else, that is what I think is not necessary. We are all adults.

Ilove, it's making me think about my actions. Not in the way you wanted, I suspect.

Honestly, do threads like this ever do anything but annoy people and re-air bitchiness from other threads?

I'm off to the library.

actually you know what - that BitterAndTwisterChoreDodger keeps bullying me - she keeps coming (repeatedly) onto threads I'm on and rugby tackling me to the floor (and then buggering off again!)

ooh you lucky thing.

It's because it's a microcosm in a macrocosm Real life has people in it who will be bitchy, sometimes nasty, sometimes brutally honest, sometimes pink and fluffyhunnery. MN reflects RL.

What it is, above all, is honest. If you've been a buckethead (c/right SGB) someone will tell you so. Who knows, once you've done with the stampey-feety thing (c/right scottishmummy) you might even realise you deserved the rollicking.

I have been reduced to tears over bullying on another parenting website. One which prides itself on its hunny-ness and friendliness. Only this week in fact I found myself once more caught up in some shite over there, despite having left the site over a year ago, (I was back defending friends of mine) I personally, have never seen that over here.

My last post reads like I blame regulars for flaming/nasty comments and I don't (see how easy it is to get it wrong!).

I just mean that it takes time to get to know a site and part of that is understanding the culture, an important part of which is defined by it's regular posters.

OP- what sort of threads have you been reading?

Have you looked in Classics for example? Some bloody funny threads there.

Chat is very fast moving and some threads do get sidelined because they aren't as relevant to some people.

Were you around recently when some posters convinced another to go to hospital because of an ectopic pregnancy? She listened to some people who were being abrasive and as a result is now healthy and at home with her children, when it could have been worse.

Those sort of threads are amazing and really shows why MN is such a fantastic place to be.

I don't believe that you intended this to be a catty thread, but unfortunately it did- to me, at any rate.

Yes, i think it was saying it should be called "BITCHNET" that did it.

toccata- and your loving it!

I kind of agree atch, ad I admit I have been guilty of going too far myself which is sooo not me really. Think its the whole screen safety thing and I don't think the op should get slated for stating the ugly truth tbh.

People have been really vile to me, very personal on some threads.
When I first used to post years and years ago I was horrified.

Now I don't care. I realised that most of the problem stems from the fact that people only ever read the op, they don't care what else has been said in the interim. It makes them look like idiots.
I am aware that many of the opinions I hold are not held by the MN massive.
But yes some people do really enjoy having a dig and it tends to be the same old people again and again, sadly.

Someone was pretty vile to me the other day, and I WAS hurt by it, made some personal comments. But I then saw them posting and realised we are totally different, I don't like the way she posts to other people, and I don't really care what she thinks of me..bit like real life really.

Ilovemash YANBU in some respect but YABU on others. For example bullying and nastiness is not on and I agree with you on that one, but these forums are discussion forums in which people have different opionions to your own and some people say it how it is and thats fine after all we live in a democracy dont we, just because some dont agree with others opionion and feel quite strongly about it, does not mean that they are bullying and nasty tbh. Some OPs tbh really put themselves in that position by some of the things they right which can be judgemental and make sweeping assumptions about people, and of course people might disgree with them and say it how it is. Some of them do need it you know.

I remember a thread where a lady posted saying she was an experienced mum and granny,new to MN,and felt she could offer advice to other MNers.Naive,possibly.Thus ensued page after page of bullying mockery,quite disgusting and nasty.