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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the Doctor to respect my wishes?

644 replies

loumum3 · 20/05/2010 18:45

I have not vaccinated my youngest child. I have done this after much research and made an informed decision. The Doctor's surgery has phoned me several times now and written requesting I go in for a discussion about this. I haven't got time for a visit to discuss this, nor do I want to so I said if I had to, I could talk about it on the phone....I have had the Doctor on the phone this afternoon grilling me about my choices, really trying to scare me into having the jabs done and trying to make me feel bad. She cannot see my point of view at all and has been very rude.

Is is really too much to expect a Doctor to respect the decisions I make about my own children ?

Has anyone else experienced this ?

OP posts:
gerontius · 20/05/2010 18:49

I think they're doing it with your child's best interests at heart. I presume you're talking about MMR? Could you not have single jabs instead?

Original poster
loumum3 · 20/05/2010 18:51

I thought this for the first few phone calls, but now I'm not so sure. He has hasn't had any jabs at all.

OP posts:
Thediaryofanobody · 20/05/2010 18:52

YANBU I've had this too due to us not vaccinating/delay vaccinating.
You have probably been too nice about it you need to be a lot more firm make sure they know it's not up for discussion.

When they have continued to call after that they no longer get the polite treatment I hang up. They aren't respecting me I'm not going to bother respecting him.
When they send letters I send them back.

JennyPiccolo · 20/05/2010 18:54

i like how you put the Doctor like it's Dr Who.

Original poster
loumum3 · 20/05/2010 18:55

Wish she was like Dr Who

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 20/05/2010 18:55

no, thankfully I haven't. I just rang them and told them my children wouldn't be vaccinated and that they needn't keepo making appts for them.
when ds3 had his 6 week check the GP asked me about it and agreed that it was too much too soon!!! i was scared of having a big confrontation but it just didn't happen

i was v. thankful

hopefully you won't hear any more from them now though OP!
i think GP's get paid a bonus or something for each child they get vaccinated, which is probably why they behave like this

JaneS · 20/05/2010 18:57

I think if the doctor is simply scaremongering and won't listen to your viewpoint, she's out of order. But it is unreasonable of you to refuse to listen to her or discuss it. You are not a medical professional (I take it), and you probably will make mistakes in your research. It's only fair to give her a chance to hear your reasons for refusing the jab, and to try to answer them. After all, you might find you both agree in the end.

Original poster
loumum3 · 20/05/2010 18:59

She was doing exactly that, scaremongering.
I have already discussed this with 2 other GP's and now this one starts, that's why I didn't want to discuss it again.

OP posts:
JaneS · 20/05/2010 19:01

Ah, ok.

I have a bit of sympathy with her as the not vaccinating scares me a bit, but she is being rude to keep on at you.

Cadders1 · 20/05/2010 19:16

Can I ask why you decided not to vaccinate - not judging - just interested.

BritFish · 20/05/2010 19:28

is that ALL starter vaccinations? im interested too, i havnt heard any horrible things about the usual starter vaccinations...

Reallytired · 20/05/2010 19:35

GPs should respect your decisions. My GP objects to me breastfeeding beyond a year, but frankly its none of their beeswax.

If they continue to pester you then contact PALS

They will help make it clear to your GP that the issue of vacinations is not up for discussion.

websticks · 20/05/2010 19:37

i work in a nursery, and i am 8 weeks pregnant and one of the children there is now in hospital in a serious condition with rebella (german measles) his mother also decided like you to not have the mmr and now her child is very poorly and my babys life is at risk. I completly agree that your doctor should be putting pressure on you to vacinate as its not just your child who you are putting at risk.

A very upset and worried mum to be.

BigFatSepticToe · 20/05/2010 19:41

websticks hope all goes Ok for you

thisisyesterday · 20/05/2010 19:44

websticks, most women of childbearing age have had the MMR themselves. you will also have been tested for rubella immunity as part of your first lot of blood tests and offered the MMR if you were not immune

children who have HAD the MMR can still get the diseases

Original poster
loumum3 · 20/05/2010 19:45

To start with I just felt that the 5 in 1 plus the Prevnar/Men C was too much for such a small body. We also have family members that have had bad reactions in the past. I decided to read up on what he was going to be injected with and was horrified at the ingredients. My Husband and I discussed everything and decided to decline the jabs (this is the short version!)

OP posts:
littleducks · 20/05/2010 19:45

have you not had rubella/been vaccinated against it websticks? it is very rare for preg women who have lived all their lives in the uk not to have rubella immunity (obv women who have immigrated from countries with different vax schedules may not be immune).

I dont think the dr should be pressurisng you, they should acting as responsible HCP layout the arguments for the vax, the risks of not having it, the other options available and let you make an informed choice

thisisyesterday · 20/05/2010 19:45

and, as I am sure you will agree, we all do what we feel is best for our children

personally I feel that there is a risk to my children by giving them vaccinations at a young age.
I feel for you, but my children come first, and I will NOT be emotioanlly blackmailed into putting them at risk to potentially save someone else

gwendolenlongstocking · 20/05/2010 19:46

I agree with websticks. Perhaps the doctors feel a responsibility to protect other people from the risk of infection should your unvaccinated children pick something up.

Sunshine78 · 20/05/2010 19:49

Agree with websticks not vaccinating can lead to a whole lot of heart ache for yourself GPs dont just pester you because they get a "bonus" for doing it they do it because it is important to the childrens health.

loumum I hope you and the others who decide not to vaccinate dont live to regret it.

thisisyesterday · 20/05/2010 19:49

how do you know the child in question doesn't have a very good reason for being unvaccinated?
in fact, do you KNOW he was unvaccinated?

my cousin nearly died from her first vaccination, and didn't have any more. she did have measles and mumps as a child, but is thankfully fine

some children cannot be vaccinated

Original poster
loumum3 · 20/05/2010 19:55

gwendolenlongstocking and Sunshine78, I hear what you are saying but being vaccinated doesn't stop you from getting the diseases. A boy I know has Measles at the moment and had his MMR.

OP posts:
websticks · 20/05/2010 19:55

Hi Sorry if i sounded harsh before, I am obviously very worried a, about my baby and b, about the child in my care at nusery. I was born in the uk and as far as my parents are concerned i have had all my injections. But the doctor cannot find it in my records so i have to have an early blood test tomorrow morning.

onwardsmummy · 20/05/2010 19:57

V interested in this - also feel uncomfortable giving such little ones jabs...

Is it true that GPs get a bonus from vaccinations? Surely not?!

Original poster
loumum3 · 20/05/2010 19:58

Yes it is true.

OP posts: