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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said no!!!!!!

132 replies

noddyholder · 03/05/2010 15:05

This is so cheeky and I am that I am being considered unreasonable.We agreed to take ds and 3 mates to barcelona when the exams are over for 3 days to skateboard.they are all 16.I have agreed it with the other parents and flights are easyjet £90 basic plus about 60 for an appartment." of the boys I know the 3rd I know but not teh parents.His parents have said they want him to fly BA as they have airmiles and tehy don't want to pay teh easyjet flight.His dad suggested we fly with tehm too and after realising they don't fly from gatwick and they are so much more £ I said no.He now wants his 16 yr old son to fly alone and meet us there!I have said no I don't want to have to track someone elses son down in a strange place he either comes as part of our group or forget it!

OP posts:
Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 10:29

Thanks fluffy I am being made to feel terrible but I wouldn't take this boy now if my life depended on it!I have been told that I need a letter of consent to take any under 18 out of the country plus permission to aithorise medical treatment.This is not going to happen with these people I am being mad to feel a bit anal and unliberal which maybe i am but am thinking safety etc

OP posts:
seeker · 04/05/2010 10:30

I am missing something - I thought all 3 boys were staying in your apartment with you, and this one was just travelling seperately. If he's staying somewhere else in Barcelona of course you can't be responsible for him. But travelling alone at 16 shouldn't be a problem.

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 10:30

made

OP posts:
Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 10:32

I am not being responsible for him seeker between his home and the appartment .Why would I risk that with parents who don't even want to discuss it The other 2 parents have both phoned agreed ground rules etc,he is too young imo to travel alone.If he had an accident who would deal with it

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seeker · 04/05/2010 10:39

Ok - I understand that he parents aren't bing helpful.

But I would be very disappointed in myself if I had a NT 16 year old who couldn't get himself from home to a known address in Barcelona without incident.

wishingchair · 04/05/2010 10:43

noddy - don't think yabu at all. Would also be very doubtful they could actually book an air miles flight at this short notice. If you are going to give their son a fun trip to Barcelona, it is completely not unreasonable for you to set all of the ground rules and that includes how to travel. Why should your trip be more stressful than it needs to be because you have to wait for their son who may or may not arrive at designated place at designated time because of countless things that could go wrong. If they're not happy wiht the arrangements, he doesn't go.

Shame it sounds like trip may now be off. What does your son feel about that?

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 10:45

He is 15 I am not sure what his bloody neuro status is as his parents are not forthcoming with any ing=fo at all.He has broken his leg twice in the last year and has only recently been out again.To travel from the south of england to barcelona is fine but I don't want to be onvolved in it and I certainly would be.It is not what we offered and now because of them its probably all off as the flights have meanwhile nearly doubled.

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wishingchair · 04/05/2010 10:45

seeker - completely agree, I would want my DCs to be able to do the same. But I wouldn't expect another parent to accommodate that.

PlumBumMum · 04/05/2010 12:09

Noddy I'm sorry you just didn't book the tickets for those of you who had agreed on the arrangements, it was a lovely thing you were doing

Seeker would you really be comfortable with your 16 year old travelling alone, what if his flight got delayed for hours on the way home, he would be stranded by himself.

And they are only going for 3 days they don't have time to be waiting around for the boy to arrive at the apartment

at least if they went as a group they would be all together

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 12:13

I am looking for alternative flights atm but not looking affordable atm as its only 3 days and we could have a weeks holiday for what it could cost now

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compo · 04/05/2010 12:14

So you're still going with ds and the other two boys?

MmeLindt · 04/05/2010 12:22

YANBU

Not because of his age, but because his parents don't even have the courtesy to meet with you and discuss the holiday.

Would any of you let your 15yo go on holiday with a family that you have never met, and never at least spoken to on the phone?

Hope you find reasonably priced flights and accommodation.

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 12:26

I have told other parents and ds that its off as i got up this am and found no flights etc that were in the budget.If something turns up I will try and book it but don't want to take this boy that I have no connection with without parental involvement

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Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 12:28

Mme Lint is right when I spoke to his mum she made me feel like a nuisance who was ott about discipline and arrangements She admitted it was a big responsibility but thought I shout be talking to her son not her.This partic boy is 15 not 16.

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compo · 04/05/2010 12:30

I agree with you
his parents sound wierd!

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 12:34

They are v liberal I thought I was but feel positively right wing compared.When i have expressed my concerns re safety and discipline etc with the other parents they have supported me and said they ahd told their kids how serious this is aand how they have to comply with us etc etc.

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thisisyesterday · 04/05/2010 14:01

i guess they are willing for him to sort this all out by himself.
which is fine IMO, but if it doesn't sit right with you then of course you can say no.

what a shame it's all had to be cancelled because of them shilly shallying around though
maybe you could book it for later in the year? just for your ds and the other 2 friends this time?

LittleSilver · 04/05/2010 14:09

OP, don't blame you at all. Other parents were way out of line ( and rude, ungrateful, ungracious, I could go on)

RunawayWife · 04/05/2010 14:11

You are not unreasonable at all

seeker · 04/05/2010 14:36

"Seeker would you really be comfortable with your 16 year old travelling alone, what if his flight got delayed for hours on the way home, he would be stranded by himself."

Yes, I would. If his flight was delayed, he would wait in the airport like everyone else, or be taken to an hotel like everyone else!

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 15:15

I really wish ds had never invited him as I do feel bad that he can't come now as dp has put his foot down and said no way!

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clam · 04/05/2010 15:47

I wouldn't be feeling bad. It's down to him (or his parents) that it looks like none of you is going!

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 15:55

I know My ds can't see that the flights which were £90 that I was waiting to book while his friend arsed about with airmiles are now 145+ and going up as we speak I think.Also appartment gone too!But I am a horrible old witch

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clam · 04/05/2010 17:03

Actually, I've now learnt from experience when trying to plan group trips with friends so I now say, "This is where we're flying from/to. See you there." But that's with adults and therefore completely different.
It's a shame for you though, as what started out as a lovely idea has now turned into An Issue, with you as the potential bad guy.

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 17:12

I know!Ds home from school and banging around in a right old mood.I am beginning to think he is not mature enough or respectful tbh for this.

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