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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said no!!!!!!

132 replies

noddyholder · 03/05/2010 15:05

This is so cheeky and I am that I am being considered unreasonable.We agreed to take ds and 3 mates to barcelona when the exams are over for 3 days to skateboard.they are all 16.I have agreed it with the other parents and flights are easyjet £90 basic plus about 60 for an appartment." of the boys I know the 3rd I know but not teh parents.His parents have said they want him to fly BA as they have airmiles and tehy don't want to pay teh easyjet flight.His dad suggested we fly with tehm too and after realising they don't fly from gatwick and they are so much more £ I said no.He now wants his 16 yr old son to fly alone and meet us there!I have said no I don't want to have to track someone elses son down in a strange place he either comes as part of our group or forget it!

OP posts:
thelunar66 · 03/05/2010 17:16

YANBU. I feel very sorry for the poor lad though. I bet he feels very embarrassed about his parents' behaviour.

£150 for flight and apartment in barcelona is fantastically good deal.

Have the parents factored in transfers and spending money? Or are they expecting you to pay for this kid's meals?

Original poster
noddyholder · 03/05/2010 17:18

No they are bringing spending money too.We are doing breakfast in appartment and cheap touristy food the rest of the time transfers need to be agreed actuall Will do that now!

OP posts:
BetsyBoop · 03/05/2010 17:48

YANBU, mad and brave in equal measure, but NU

reallytorn · 03/05/2010 18:06

YANBU, and they are rude to ask.

GoingPostal · 03/05/2010 18:19

YADNBU - how rude are his parents?!

If you're going as a group, you travel as a group (given the age of the boys and the fact you are arranging - not like being 2 or 3 families going on holiday together). Then if things go wrong you are all together, noone is lost or isolated - this works both ways. If something goes wrong for your arrangements, the other boy would be left on his own wondering what the hell to do. If things go wrong for him, you're going to spend your time arseing around sorting out his problems / lost luggage / lack of money for taxi into city etc etc.

You've found a good deal, booked and done the admin. They go with that or not at all.

And airmiles are not very good value on shorthaul flights by the time you factor in ttaxes. talk about making life difficult.

what have the parents said now you've said no?

cat88 · 03/05/2010 18:50

YADNBU

You are offering their son a lovely holiday and they are treating you more like a tour operator than a friend - quibbling over the arrangements is very rude.

If that is their attitude and outlook at the start what is likely to be their reaction if something does go wrong? I would rescind the offer immediately even if they were now to agree with your iternary and arrangements.

LittleSilver · 03/05/2010 19:19

Sounds very complicated with me.

LittleSilver · 03/05/2010 19:22

Oh yes, and def disinvite. YOU need to be comfortable, that is a lot of responsibility you are shouldering there.

mumbar · 03/05/2010 19:26

can understand where you are coming from but for different reasons. Getting there and meeting is fine but I would be concerned bout the end. What if he's delayed etc it's a lot to ask of you to leave him alone abroad as I'm sure you would not feel comfortable with this. Recent probs surely have highlighted how vunerable the connections can be.

Fluffyone · 03/05/2010 19:27

Just another YANBU. In a way it may be best if they decide he's not going, it's not a good start is it? They are being inconsiderate, say for example his flight is delayed, you're only there for 3 days, how much time would they expect you to waste waiting to meet up with him? Just daft and rather rude.
(Waits to find that the other parents are mumsneters...!).

mumbar · 03/05/2010 19:29

oh fluffy lol that would be an easy way for noddy to get the message to them that they ABU!!!!

Gashtray · 03/05/2010 19:30

YADNBU. I cannot believe that they are nitpicking over this. If they've got enough money to collect airmiles, they can afford £90. They should be effing grateful that you are prepared to take responsibility for their son for a few days.

To have to go back to the airport the next day takes a big chunk out of your holiday and is a complete pain in the arse.

The cheek of some people! Stick to your guns.

jenduff · 03/05/2010 19:35

YANBU - if someone were to offer for my DC to come on such a trip I would be immensely grateful, not quibbling.

You're very kind - you're doing them a favour and they are taking the piss

loobylu3 · 03/05/2010 19:51

You are doing them a favour taking their son away for a holiday. They are totally unreasonable asking you to change your plans without any good reason. If they have built up so many air miles, they can obviously afford an easy jet flight.
Unfortunately, you will just have to be firm and the teenager might loose out.

Original poster
noddyholder · 03/05/2010 19:52

This has caused an almighty row ,ds thinks I am unreasonable and now I am threatening to call the whole thing off!

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 03/05/2010 19:59

yanbu.

Fluffyone · 03/05/2010 20:04

Show ds this thread please. Then I can tell him to sort his act out and appreciate what you are doing for him and his mate(s) or he can stay at home (in the rain probably!) with the rest of us. I will avoid calling him an ungrateful little... I'll avoid that I promise.
Or... maybe the rude parents would like to take over the trip, at the same price as you have sorted, and one of them can take the gang themselves. After all, they were willing to pay for someone's ticket to go BA with their son.

thatsnotmymonkey · 03/05/2010 20:20

YANBU! The other family is. Completely off the wall unreasonableness. Am very impressed with your trip idea and I am sure you will have a great time. Three's a crowd and all that!

Wonder how it will all turn out?

MABS · 03/05/2010 20:37

yanbu, not a chance imo, either fit in or don't come x

ConnorTraceptive · 03/05/2010 20:48

Another YANBU

I can't believe the cheek of some people.

Oh and tell our ds to wind his neck in he's lucky to have a fab mum willing to do this.

ConnorTraceptive · 03/05/2010 20:49

not "our" ds obviously unless you want a five year old too?

MadamDeathstare · 03/05/2010 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

olderandwider · 03/05/2010 21:14

Show your ds the thread. Then he'll see how RUAB!

Original poster
noddyholder · 03/05/2010 21:18

Thanks everyone!Spoke to other 2 sets of parents tonight they are very much like me wrt discipline etc and totally back me.I also know these 2 families fairly well and have full permission to kick asses if need be!

OP posts:
mumbar · 03/05/2010 21:43

you sound like a fab mum - not sure I would want to do this and take responsibility for others children abroad.

YANBU you have got a trip booked to go on a certain plane at a cetain time to a certain city and a certain apt. Surely him flying alone is HIS trip and therefore his parents responsibilty to arrange accomadation etc and he can meet your DS and friends if he likes.

I understand they may not have the money, but if they don't they'll have to explain to their DS that this time they can't afford it. Not nice I know but it's a fact of life.

I also think if you already have concerns that this boy won't adhere to your rules I'd disinvite as it will make things hard etc.

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