Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said no!!!!!!

132 replies

noddyholder · 03/05/2010 15:05

This is so cheeky and I am that I am being considered unreasonable.We agreed to take ds and 3 mates to barcelona when the exams are over for 3 days to skateboard.they are all 16.I have agreed it with the other parents and flights are easyjet £90 basic plus about 60 for an appartment." of the boys I know the 3rd I know but not teh parents.His parents have said they want him to fly BA as they have airmiles and tehy don't want to pay teh easyjet flight.His dad suggested we fly with tehm too and after realising they don't fly from gatwick and they are so much more £ I said no.He now wants his 16 yr old son to fly alone and meet us there!I have said no I don't want to have to track someone elses son down in a strange place he either comes as part of our group or forget it!

OP posts:
Original poster
noddyholder · 03/05/2010 22:01

I gave them until tonight to decide yes or no and have had no call.It is not a finacnial issue afaik.I am doing it as cheap as poss and we are eating in and in cheapy places.

OP posts:
thelunar66 · 03/05/2010 23:52

Any news from the other parents yet Noddy?

sunnydelight · 04/05/2010 00:11

Of course YANBU, it drives me nuts when you offer X and people say, oh yes please but I'll have Y. I also can't believe they voluntarily want him to fly from Heathrow with all the hassle of getting him there and back. Sounds like you're better off without - my tolerance for free range children certainly wouldn't run to a weekend!

outnumbered2to1 · 04/05/2010 00:12

ohmigod!!!are this family for real? Sorry but i would phoning them and saying that they are being UNBELIEVABLY unreasonable and that unfortunately as they are not happy with the arrangements you have made you have no choice but to rescind the invite for theirson.

God how bloody rude... basically they are saying "yes you can have our son, take him abroad for the weekend but you have to do it OUR way"

roselover · 04/05/2010 00:27

I really think you should all fly out together - I go to Barcelona frequently - sometimes easyjet, sometimes BA - the airport is miles and miles away from the airport and unlike our fab London cabbies - their taxi drivers dont all know every street - or even every hotel in the city - (as I have found to my cost) - you young friend could get quite panic-y also BA share that route with an other spanish airline so its really confusing - when you fly back sometimes its not always a BA flight you are looking for the departure board - even though you have bought a BA ticket - hey but what a nice parent you are - mum of the year I should think

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 04/05/2010 00:41

I was leaning towards YABalittlebitU if you weren't happy to accept Boy 3 flying out by BA and making his own arrangements at his own risk to get to you. A hypothetical mature and sensible 16yo should be perfectly capable of doing that (a 16yo can join the Army, let's remember, which ought to be more taxing than flying to Barcelona) and it needn't affect your plans at all.

But if his parents are trying to use airmiles to pay for his share of the apartment then they are just taking the piss and YANBU.

caramelwaffle · 04/05/2010 01:20

YANBU

Ohhhh - A sixteen year old is more than capable of getting themselves around a city, however, the parents don't seem to want to pay anything in cash towards the holiday. Do Spanish cabbies accept Airmiles? (honest question. Honest, honest guv')

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 06:00

Well it is just a nightmare! At 11 last night the boy rang to say he could go by easy jet and how much exactly.I told him and he sent a text to my son saying ok he could pay that and could we text flight details etc to him and his parents weren't going to have dialogiue with me(they don't need to).I have decided not to take him at all as we don't know them and can't set ground rules.They have left a number I can ring but have bever spoken to us only via their son.Dp v uncomfortable with this esp as there cold be comeback if anything happened to him and we weren;t clear with the parents.He is a lot more free than the others and we had an incident with them several years ago which I had forgotten about which has made me even more dubious,so either ds brings the 2 mates we know or its all off!!!!!!

OP posts:
clam · 04/05/2010 08:29

Why won't his parents "have a dialogue" with you? Because they don't see the need, or because they're hacked off? There is a need from your point of view, or he shouldn't come. Although it seems you already have come to that.

gingernutlover · 04/05/2010 08:38

i dont think you were ever unreasonable.

someone else offers to take your teenager abroad for a treat - you do it the way they have planned, or say no thanks. You do not start dictating their plans or demanding they do things differently - if it doesnt suit you then you say no thanks.

They sound extremely rude and full of their own entitlement.

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 08:44

Well becasue of all the delay the flights have rocketed in price.My dp got a bit hot under the collar about taking this boy with no aprental involvement and tbh he is right.i rang them this am just now to say trip off and no one answered and then 5 mins later the boy phoned back.i asked to speak to his mum and she came on the phone and i explained the situation re insurance boundaries etc and she said Its not me you should be speaking to it's x but I'll pass on the message????????he is 15 and home schooled and quite free from what i can gather.

OP posts:
GoingPostal · 04/05/2010 08:58

think you've done the right thing as far as this boy is concerned - but is the whole trip off, or just for him? hope you can still go ahead with the others.

if he's that free, why couldn't he organise his own flights, transfers, accomodation etc and meet up with you there? sounds like the parents just can't be arsed tbh - he does his own thing, but they still wanted someone on the BA flight with him!

clam · 04/05/2010 09:02

X as in the boy, or her DP?
Which flight prices have rocketed, yours (with EJ) or his (potential) BA ones? Hope yours are in the bag and you haven't missed the boat coz of their farting about.

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 09:07

x as in the boy!He obviously organises himself a lot better than ds which is good in the grand scheme of things but hopeless for me.The flights we looked at were 90 and now today are 145!!!!!!So think the other 2 parents will say no now but I will get the blame .

OP posts:
clam · 04/05/2010 09:08

How annoying! I would make sure they how this came about.

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 09:24

No hotel now either becoming a farce tbh

OP posts:
Rollmops · 04/05/2010 09:56

Barcelona airport is very close to the city. If they want their son to fly BA (boak) then why not tell them to give him taxi fare (return) to your apartment as well. In that way you are not responsible for his travel and they can still use their airmiles.

seeker · 04/05/2010 10:01

A lone voice here. i would have said "OK - make sure he's got the taxi fare and we'll see him at the apartment"

He's 16, not 6!

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 10:09

We don't know them from adam and we are responsible for their 15 yr old son and they don't want to be 'involved' like the other parents!This is the issue now tbh as we only realised this when we tried to finalise the arrangements.Dp point blank refusing to even discuss it now and much as I feel for the boy his mum did nothing to reassure me when I spoke to her.

OP posts:
Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 10:10

What would happen in the case of delays ey=tc as flights don't co incide plus o
if he wanted to do his own thing who would take the rap in the case of an accident etc?

OP posts:
compo · 04/05/2010 10:16

So is the whole thing called off? Maybe give ds some cash to go to the Reading Festival or similar?

seeker · 04/05/2010 10:17

But it was only the travelling bit he would be doing on his won, surely? Or am I missing something?

Original poster
noddyholder · 04/05/2010 10:22

He would be travelling from home to barcelona alone and I would have to meet him 6 hrs after our flight.Who would take him to hospital if he fell skating and bring him home etc It was not an open offer to stay in our appartment

OP posts:
Fluffyone · 04/05/2010 10:23

What a shame, and don't you let anyone blame you, it's not your fault. These parents caused the delay by trying to change the arrangements you had made, and then by refusing to speak to you to set up ground rules. Make that crystal clear when you speak to the other parents. You can't reasonably be expected to take someone's 15 year old son out of the country without his parents being prepared to even speak to you to give proper consent and discuss "boundaries".
We live in a litiginous (spelling??) society, loose arrangements are fine until something goes wrong.
The bottom line though is that these parents were out of order trying to reorganise the trip in the first place. You offered a "package". If they weren't happy with it then, rather than start negotiating with bloody airmiles and setting conditions, they should have just said no.

Fluffyone · 04/05/2010 10:29

Just another thought, for those who are saying it's only a matter of him travelling on his own. Picture this. You're on a 3 day trip with your son and two mates. On the first day there you need to make sure that you are at the appartment at a certain time so that the third mate can get in. So, you hang around and nothing happens. You ring the airline. The flight was on time. He's now over an hour late. What do you do?
Apart from the fact that it would spoil your precious day and waste time, assuming he turned up eventually. What if he didn't arrive? He's 15 years old. You are in Barcelona.