to be angry that my sister isnt breastfeeding

[jellytot92]

hi, im new on here. im having my first baby in november and im planning on breastfeeding. my sister just had a baby and she says she doesnt want to breastfeed. i just think thats soooo slefish. the leaflets my midwife gave me said its so much better for babys and i dont no why she doesnt want to. am i being unreasonable or is she just a selfish moo. she says she doesnt want saggy boobs.

YABU

It is absolutely 100% none of your business, even though she is your sister.

I do hope that your family are fully supportive of your decision to breastfeed though.

My step-mum told me breatfeeding was a 'fad' and I was 'starving' my baby (I breastfed my son for 14 months, and waited until he was 6.5 months old to wean him - he was 50th percentile the whole time and didn't even get a cold ). MIL was less vocal but was also very uncomfortable about it, which I found distintly weird and every so slightly pervy (when it came from FIL).

Anyway, my point is, it is horrible to be critised for how you feed your baby - no matter how you do it. Please don't do this to your sister and get all preachy.

I wonder if the reactions of my step-mum and MIL were actually defensive gestures, as by me not doing what they did [bottle-fed] they felt critised indirectly?

Definatly one to leave well alone!

Hmm havent read the whole thread but could i please ask you what sex the baby is as you started off saying it was your neice then you slipped up said it was a he?

Maybe you need to mind your own business & get your nursery under your bridge ready for your own baby troll?

I give this one 2/10.

"Formula ain't poison yano"

Yes very good...Neither's cherry coke let's give the poor lil bastards that shall we...

Born in '92

Huge at somebody who doesn't even have a baby yet thinks they know what is RIGHT for everyone.

And this 'I feel sad for arguement - since when did 'I feel sad' become a reason to say whatever you like?

Tsk, Tsk

the leaflets my midwife gave me said its so much better for babys

You aren't real are you

OP, get your beak out.

None of your business. Your sister will get saggy boobs no matter what - it's gravity. And so will you.

You, however, sound like a self-righteous busybody, who may, whatever your desires, be unable to breastfeed. Then what?

According to some posters - LeonieDelt for example, to do so is to deny them the "best start in life". So what if you can't, are you awarded a "good attitude" prize by her ilk for wanting to if not able to?

What a crock of shit.

Oh please dont feed the troll.

LeonieDelt you are entitled to your opinion as much as anyone but you are coming across as holier than thou,not everything in life is black & white you know?

In fact dont bother answering me cos i am hiding this pile of shite thread.

OP if you come back fuck off & grow up.

YABU

Come back when you're actually a mum and we'll see if you're still on your high horse.

Highly irresponsible and poor parenting IMHO.

PMSL

YABU

YABVU!!! Im glad your not my sister!

Poor OP - you are clealy trying to do what you consider to be best for your baby. Breastfeeding levels in women of your age group are not high so well done on making the decision to give it a go.

I can see why you might wonder why your sister won't even try breastfeeding and the reason that she has given you (doesn't want droopy boobs) does seem a bit 'non-baby' focussed but honestly in the sensitive world of parenting it is better to not judge anyone for their decision as long as their baby is happy and healthy. I'm sure midwifes and health visitors will chat to your sister and she will be able to explore her fears and make her decision with lots of advice. It is destructive for both of you for you to be thinking she is 'lazy' and 'selfish' but if you are pregnant yourself, you are probably full of protective mother-bear hormones so it is understandable you wanting what you see as the best for your neice. Just try to make sure your sister doesnt sense your disapproval or she is likely to push you away and you'll miss out on contact with your neice.

I do think some posters seem to be confusing people that try to breastfeed and do not achieve it (for whatever reason) and those that intending to formla feed from the start which are two slightly different issues IMO. I wish you the BEST of luck in bf your baby, I am BF my first... it is wonderful but it can be hard at times. My top tip would be to remember that whatever age your baby, if you have any problems, talk to an NCT breastfeeding councellor. They aren't just for newborns, I had no problems at all until 10weeks but my local NCT BF councellor helped me lots when we had a latch problem.

good luck and try to be there for your sister. You will both appriciate the support when you both have small babies.

Up to her.

I FF DS after 4 weeks and BF DD for 5 months (the mixed fed). Both had the same illnesses and frequency, DS is ahead of his class and DD is also very intelligent. Hasn't made a diff in their health or development...

You should get off your high horse and mind your own. Mothers have enough to worry about/feel guilty about without calling them selfish because they do something different to how you would. She is not hurting her baby.

Op are you for real? This must be a troll. If not, then you're very naive. Your post made me lol because you haven't even had your baby yet. You have a lot to learn about life.

Wow! I've just caught up with this thread. I agree with the general consensus but I do feel you are being a little unfair on the OP about her age.

Yes, breast milk is best (usually, except in cases where the mother takes certain drugs etc). Nobody can deny it, because it's a fact.

Human milk is best for humans
Cow milk is best for cows
Dog milk is best for dogs

etc etc

That's nature's design.

However, formula is not half arsenic half crack cocaine. It has been worked on and worked on and many many babies are raised on it and thrive.

There are many reasons why a woman does not want to breastfeed and you have to respect their decision. It would be best if they make an informed decision, but even if they dismiss it out of hand, it is still their choice and in no way means they will be a bad mother.

There are many reasons why a woman wants to breastfeed, but cannot and you will add to their feelings of guilt and inadequacy if you criticise them for it.

i really really hope that you are able to breastfeed successfully, i do, but prepare yourself because it really is not a case of deciding to bf and job done. You may find you need help and support or it even doesn't work for you.

'that they will struggle less with their weight than I do now. It seems to be true so far.'

Have your children turned 40?
I found limiting treats and increasing exercise worked will for me (BF), my sister (BF) and my SILS (FF)
All of our children are healthy, fit and a reasonable weight. Their ages range from 4-19.

OP, well done for you wanting to BF, but i would hate to be your sister. You have no right to be angry with her, she may have her own private reasons that she doesn't wish to discuss with you.
I FF my first 3 DC's, said I couldn't be bothered with BF, but in actual fact (only recently been able to admit the real reason why.) It's down to feeling shitty about my body (boobs in particular) because of an assault when younger. I wouldn't have wanted to talk to anyone about it, and if I had a sister like you, I think I'd have ended up with even worse PND.
Just try concentrating on yourself & your baby and not being such a judgemental madam.

I don't think you have any right to judge her.

'Its one thing to not be able to BF. Its another thing altogether to deliberately choose not to. Highly irresponsible and poor parenting IMHO.'

Get off your high horse Leonie - having a baby wired up in an incubator in SCBU being fed through an NG tube militates against breast feeding really - however, despite having an irresponsible and poor parent and being ff from the start, my ds has made it to 14, and is a bright and well mannered kid with whom it is a pleasure to spend time.