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AIBU?

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Original poster

more wwyd ... Dh, 22 week dd and 3 pints

68 replies

issysmilkbottle · 30/04/2010 19:50

ok, more of a wwyd... Dh agreed I needed some me time, first in 6 months so once dd asleep I was gonna go out...

Dh went into town at 4, back at 7 and has 3 pints! Should I cancel night out or do I trust him with dd... He had also promised to help with night wakings for first time tonight and give me a rest in morning yet suggested he goes and gets more beers...

Wwyd?

OP posts:
mrsbean78 · 30/04/2010 19:55

I would be raging. My blood is literally boiling for you.

My ds is 21 weeks and although my dh is a very capable and competent dad, there is no way I would be comfortable going out for the first time in six months with him suggesting extra beers and with alcohol in his system.

I am not very comfortable with people taking care of babies when they have any alcohol in their system, though. Others may view it differently.. but I would probably - in all honesty - have a massive arguent with my dh about this.

Yorky · 30/04/2010 19:56

I wouldn't go.

Sorry, but if that is his responsible parenting to response to being in sole charge of a child I would have a fairly serious sense of humour failure. I know how likely my DH would be to be any use at nigh wakings after 3pints - and then to suggest having more?

SirBoobAlot · 30/04/2010 19:57

I wouldn't. But I would be so angry!!! Fuming for you

thisisyesterday · 30/04/2010 19:58

i would not go out and leave him with the baby if he has already had 3 and planned more.

no way.

he needs to grow up and figure out where his responsibilities lie

waitingforbedtime · 30/04/2010 19:58

I wouldnt go either and would be fuming!

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 30/04/2010 19:59

I would throw the beer at him.

dinkystinky · 30/04/2010 20:00

Wouldnt go and would be really rather hacked off. What a selfish idiot.

racmac · 30/04/2010 20:00

depends on how much it affects him tbh - my dh could have 3 pints and be fine but others may not be

How does he seem? Would still be pissed off that he couldnt stay off the beer for 1 night though

preggersplayspop · 30/04/2010 20:00

I wouldn't go. You'll spend the whole evening fretting anyway and won't enjoy yourself.

Hopefully after this, he will realise its out of order and won't do it again.

diddl · 30/04/2010 20:01

What is it with men and fücking alcohol?

I just do not get it.

He went out at 4-why?-because you were going out on a friday so he had to also.

Will stop before I say something really rude.

I assume it´s too late too make the selfish irresponsible prat to pay for a babysitter?

MmeLindt · 30/04/2010 20:01

I would not go.

Three pints and planning more by the sound of things. He is not capable of looking after a baby.

He sounds very irresponsible. Is he always like this?

Original poster
issysmilkbottle · 30/04/2010 20:01

that's what I was thinking.... you can't drive on 3 pints so why the hell would I entrust dd in that state!

I am seething inside and want to really smack my selfish dh around the head.... I will sleep in spare room so he has to wake for dd and he will be up at 7 for her,,, I have had no sleep for two weeks and am dying on my feet so this is pushing me over... Bloody alcohol!

I'm not going out now but if he dares to open more beer he's gonna have to consider our future!

OP posts:
Original poster
issysmilkbottle · 30/04/2010 20:05

he insists on 'me time' 3-5 times a week, ranging from 2-5 hours! Its a big issue as when he's not at work he's supposed to look after dd so I can do my 35 hours a week work and then we need time together... He won't trust anyone else to look after dd and yet does this.... Stupid stupid man!

OP posts:
dinkystinky · 30/04/2010 20:08

Hmm, sounds like you and your DH need to have a talk - but when he's not pissed and you're calmer. Make the most of the idiot being in the house and go have a lovely luxurious bath and get to bed early so you get a good nights sleep hopefully for once. And FWIW I'd trust a sober professional babysitter over a parent who had drunk several pints and was planning to drink more....

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 30/04/2010 20:12

me time 3-5 times a week.

he has no idea about having a baby.

janajos · 30/04/2010 20:15

I agree that you need a chat when he is sober and you have calmed down. I suppose at least he came back at 7, my ex would have done the same and stayed out until 7 the next morning.....

I too would be furious however and it is NOT fair that he has me time and you don't when you are both working...

What idiots men can be

MmeLindt · 30/04/2010 20:25

That is a lot of me-time for him

And none for you?

thesecondcoming · 30/04/2010 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paisleyleaf · 30/04/2010 20:40

I hate to say this issy, but if you don't feel he can be trusted to take care of the baby - maybe he can't be left to do the nightfeeds.
Which is why I'd be so angry if I were you.

StayFrosty · 30/04/2010 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

posieparker · 30/04/2010 20:48

I wouldn't go out. Selfish twunt.

OnlyWantsOne · 30/04/2010 20:48

"if he dares to open more beer he's gonna have to consider our future! "

seriously????!!!

seeker · 30/04/2010 20:49

Surely most men aren't incapable after 3 pints are they? Particularly 3 pints drunk over 3 hours?

alicet · 30/04/2010 20:52

OK so I'm clearly going to get flamed since everyone else thinks he is BU.

I have to say I think you are over reacting. 3 pints isn't that much - sure he will be tipsy but not out of control. I would be asking him if he thought it was sensible to drink more though but unless he gets totally out of control regularly with alcohol and doesn't know his limits then I think you have to respect that he is an adult who loves his dd as much as you and wouldn't do anything to endanger her.

And if you are not happy to go out while he has had this much to drink then YABtotallyU to leave him to do the night feeds - if he is not fit to look after her for the evening then clearly he can't be trusted overnight can he?

That said I think it is clearly a very one sided arrangement with him having a LOT more 'me' time than you - think it would be worth addressing this when you are not so angry.

If its not too late go out. he will be fine.

diddl · 30/04/2010 20:53

He might be OK after three beers-it would be him intending to have more that would really p!ss me off.