to think Heston Blumenthal - just roast a bloody chicken fgs you are not big and you are not clever

[SuSylvester]

with your stupid meals.

his smug little creepy grin and weirdy glasses make me feel odd.

stop painting food colours and being all sciencey
its annoying
bbq
steak
grill

YY. Stop trying to feed people wild boar encased in spatchcocked pheasants with borage and just give them a chuffing sausage.

YANBU

He's a smug tosspot and makes me shout at the TV

I feel your pain.

and painging chiekcn gonads.
what is wrong with boiling an egg

Thread title of the decade

painting

see i have gone nuts in anger.
and the slebs at themeals
do fark orf

he's ugly isn't he, puts me off

i dont see the point of watching someone cooking a meal you wont ever cook or eat.
its like the firs time we saw the lottery draw

they drew the numbers and we all went

now wot

Him and Gregg Wallace are fat head twins.

Couldn't agree more. He is so weirdly clinical and forensic about food. He is NOT a foodie. He's just strange.

yes their heads are odd.
you coudl imagine them in an egg cup

and they say "mm and ooh and ah"
oh shut up

OMFG!
Had the misfortune to see his programme last week.

I´d have to sue if I was fed that without a warning first!

Massively popular in the netherlands apparently... according to my boss anyway.

Am sure he is going to serve up dogs cock one of these days and then all the poncey people will go into tescos and ask for dogs cock and look for dogs cock recipe cards in sainbos.

"feed your family for a fiver, give them cock."

Gregg Wallace has a saddle-shaped indentation on the top of his turtle-waxed head

dh and I reckon John likes to ride bareback on it while playing "hunt the scallop" under the duvet (has anyone noticed how every time someone cooks scallops they chorus "all I'm getting is garlic, your flavours are good but your LOSING THE SCALLOP"

lol. and his reciped at waitrose are like

no i wont boil garic in milk four times you freak, I will ust have a bag of kettle chips in some prebought aoili

"And tonight, as the theme of my feast is politics, I'm taking a juvenile turkey, coating it in gold leaf and injecting it with camel bollock puree".

Cut to footage of newsreader sucking bollock puree out of a golden turkey and smacking her lips.

or if feeling saucy i will liberally squirt sweet chilli sauce on philadelphia and dip stufff in that considering myself quite au courant

his recipe for millionaires shortbread involves boiling the can of condensed milk for 3 hours! and egg in the shortbread.

just not practical for home cooking (the boiling of the can)

but i bet it tastes bloody gorgeous.

yes I think is going to be used in a soup in his next episode.

the thing is you dont KNOW if its really gorgeous.
i think his chicken balls painted to look like jelly beans were.. in fact.. just.. jeally beans

Gregg Wallace is a barrow boy. A fat-headed barrow boy who is only ever 3 seconds away from stripping naked and rolling in the food. I've seen him sucking on his spoon. Don't tell me he's thinking about 'herby notes and shades of marjoram', he's thinking about rubbing it all over himself.

His programme is one big long advert for his restaurant.

Who has liquid nitrogen kicking about the kitchen so you can whip up snail porridge or some such other nonsense?

And he looks like Phil Mitchell.

YANBU- I would like to see him boil his own head (for 3 hours) and serve it with devilled squirrel on the side and a wigglyworm jus

he got some desperate woman off the inteerweb didnt he
i wonder what attrracted her to him?
his grassy scents of lemon grass?