to think Heston Blumenthal - just roast a bloody chicken fgs you are not big and you are not clever

[SuSylvester]

with your stupid meals.

What was the idea of melting the chocolate egg last week?

That was the only thing I would have eaten!

yanbu the thought of him cooking bollocks of anykind makes my eye water

"Gregg Wallace is a barrow boy. A fat-headed barrow boy who is only ever 3 seconds away from stripping naked and rolling in the food. I've seen him sucking on his spoon. Don't tell me he's thinking about 'herby notes and shades of marjoram', he's thinking about rubbing it all over himself. "

Quote of the week!

I LOVE this trhead

A teacher wasn't she? Giving up her career to move in with him. I would imagine it is quite the fulltime job living with him and fighting the feelings of intense revulsion that come with it. Shall we set up a paypal account to pay her for her gargantuan efforts? I mean she's doing it so nobody else has to.

I took a look at one of Heston's cookery books once, thinking, ooh, that's a nice thick book, must have lots of recipes.

Nope. Each recipe is 10 - 15 pages long.

It went back on the shelf.

I think his experiment with Norovirus was a mistake.

I doubt that dish stayed on the menu.

Unless he sold the recipe to weight watchers.

I like the Hairy Bikers' cookbook. It's more a leaflet really:

1. Meat

1. Grill

1. Eat

Job done. Proper men.

pipette schmipette

Ha ha - I was shouting "just cook chicken breast you freak" at the TV during the chicken bollock episode too

And what was with the 'TV presenter' I've never heard of who was quite happy chowing down on balls but boaked at a bit of tounge!?!

Would have loved a bit of the Hansel and Gretel house though....or this weeks marshmallow, chocolate and ice cream icebergs. Mmmm

but the show is pointless
they cook stuff that is POINTLESS for everyone watching

And it's misleading. You go to my local garden centre and try and melt chocolate in one of their £250 water features. Do they all stand around admiringly? No, I'll tell you what they do, they call the police.

Did anyone see his show about how to bake the perfect black forest cake? Part of the perfect recipe involved doing something with large vacuum storage bags and, perhaps, a hoover. Who one earth (apart from Heston Blumenthal) is going to do that?

we are supposed to love his quirky enthusiasm
well we dont.
jsut desist HB

He thinks He's Willy Wonka.

He is nearly right.

..you cant trust a man who seems to permanently wear lab goggles

I did see the one where he talked about how to really 'taste' custard. I'm afraid 'just pop the tampon in your mouth' was about when I stopped paying attention. And I love custard.

He is trying to be the Jonny Ball of cookery. It's wrong and bad and he should be ashamed of himself.

he is a buffoon

get out of your arse, heston

I hope he shoves it up his arse next time.

Baldy twat.

well I love it, tids entertainment innit, doesn't hav3 to have a purpose.

imagine having sex with him

'lets just try simmering your fanny in a water bath first until its the right consistency'

I was looking forward to last nights Titanic one but it was rubbish

this thread is funny

esp showof hands melting her chocolate at the garden centre

and his vague obsession with 70s crap food is odd