to think Heston Blumenthal - just roast a bloody chicken fgs you are not big and you are not clever

[SuSylvester]

with your stupid meals.

He thinks He's Willy Wonka.

He is nearly right. '

PMSL

I do like the way they only ever show the jelly willy/dildo on the credits

The shrieking slebs ruin the programme. Oh my God this and soooo amaaaaazing that...

And why why why does top end cheffing always have to involve offal?

YADNBU

I have only seen one HB programme - he cooked a spag bol ragu that took 7 hours or so, that's 7 FUCKING HOURS to cook. Now how shall I fit that into my busy day?

I saw that one Shelling, and then he served it up with the spaghetti already wound round a kebab skewer, I think, balanced across the plate. Twat.

A few years ago, before it became so well known my DH and I ate at The Fat Duck. We thought the name sounded delicious. It wasn't - it was pretentious as you might expect. We still laugh about it whenever we see him.

That's a relief Lilysmalls, there was some woman on here a while ago who told us about paying £500 for a meal at the Fat Duck and some of the courses were just so beautiful it made her "cry a little bit"

i like him.

he's ORIGINAL.

bbq
steak
grill

how fucking boring.

Boring but tasty.

Oh Greeny, I don't suppose you could possibly remember the name of that poster could you? She sounds right up my street.

Two words. Nouvelle Cuisine.

In ten years time we will be pissing ourselves at the thought of eating these wanky offerings (with apologies for mixed metaphors).

I am almost scared to raise my head above the pulpit and say that I like him

I know it is poncey but I am in awe of what he can do with dry ice, a bunch of chemicals and food.

The series he did on making the best of everything was superb. He explained why the meat was so good for the burgers, and about why mincing it a particular direction made it tastier etc.

I have been to the Little Chef he made over and yes it was poncey having sea mist sprayed over us when we ordered fish and chips but it was great fun.

I have also eaten in his pub in Bray, next door to the Fat Duck. His chips are the best I have ever had. And you only need to look at me sideways to know that I have eaten a lot of chips in my time.

Yes, his recipes are things that we will never replicate but they are fun to watch and sample when the price is right.

Not sure I would spend £500 for the Fat Duck though. Unless somebody else was paying!

I love heston too.
makes me wish I wasn't a veggie.

sorry bibbity, I must have brain-bleached it away...

we watched it by mistake and saw the 'seagulls crap on some ice' pudding. we couldn't identify the celebs apart from julia swahaliaiaiaialla's sister and him off the news.

AND he has a face like an arse.

I think he's great, and would love to eat at his restauarnt. Tis a bit silly saying 'oh he couldn't do that every day with two toddlers clinging to his ankles', talk about comparing apples and oranges! His Hansel and Gretel house last week was amazing. He is a bit fond of the bollock end of things though.

I used to think he was nuts but now I see him as a genius. I would love to be on the guest list for his programmes. If your reading this Heston I'm free anytime.

But it all ends up as poo. Sorry to lower the tone.

"And it's misleading. You go to my local garden centre and try and melt chocolate in one of their £250 water features. Do they all stand around admiringly? No, I'll tell you what they do, they call the police."

Heh!

But I'm going to raise my head above the parapet as well and say I think he is amazing. There's no way I'd cook his food at home - how could I? I don't have the skill or the equipment. But isn't that one of the reasons you'd go to a high end restaurant like his? If I went to an expensive restaurant and was served something I could make at home, it would all be a bit "what was the point of paying for THAT?"

And I love the fact that he is three times the chef Gordon Ramsay is, and yet doesn't shout at, swear at or bully his staff. He still cooks in his restaurant kitchen, rather than spending all his time poncing about the world making up menus and letting someone else do the actual cheffing.

Mind you, that twerp at Little Chef probably needed someone to shout at him - Gordon would have frightened the living daylights out of him, and then they would have treated him with a bit more respect.

If I had a Pound for all the people that wanted to cook a suckling pig in our hot tub after the last series......

I might have a whole fiver.

I love watching his programme purely for entertainment purposes, but TBH his food combos actually make me feel sick (and on occasion retch a little).

Getting a bit boring/repetitive too, I said to DP last night that there are only a few times he can make savoury things into sweet looking and sweet into savoury!

Expect future episodes to go as follows

Naff sleb - Oh look a lollipop I bet its made of kangaroo bollocks!

Heston - erm yes actually it is

NS - Wow that looks like a pork chop but I bet its marshmallow!

H - erm yes actually it is

And what is with the dry ice!

My friend took me to The Fat Duck last year as a surprise for my birthday. Lord knows why there, I am not exactly a foody or a Heston fan.

I looked at the menu and almost burst into tears. One, because of the price and two, because there was nothing I liked.

She had booked us the set menu, I think it was about a hundred each? I can't quite remeber, but she isn't well off, she had saved for three months, and she would not take a penny from me. I ate it all, telling her how amazing it was, I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

After I dropped her home, I went to KFC, I was bloody starving.

lol