AIBU to not want to breastfeed?

[VixeyV]

Hi this is my first post but I have been a lurker since the start of my pregnancy.

Anyway, my question is I'm 20 weeks pregnant and the midwife keeps pushing me into breastfeeding. I just don't want to and don't get why she won't stop asking me how I'll feed.

To be honest, the thought of it freaks me out. I didn't breastfeed my daughter and she's fine on formula, she has aptimal because that's the best.

So what do you think? Should my midwife stop nagging me?

Just nod and agree to your MW and then do what you want. Some MWs can be v pushy but remember that it's their job to promote BFing - so don't take it personally because she'll be telling other women in the town the same thing.

I had real probs bf'ing so ff my lo, but also expressed bm for her every day til she was 7months old. Assuaged my guilt for not being able to bf, and hopefully gave her some health benefits too. Hth.

Btw can't believe the crying by grave story - terrible! A friend of mine died of breast cancer when her lo was 7, she had breastfed her til she was 2.

at that crying by the grave story elusivemoose.
I breastfed and am proud that I did it, but have no issue with anyone else's decision as long as they are feeding their baby. at how sanctimonious and terrible people can be.

Yes agree Star as long as baby is being fed be it breast or formula so what!

YABU
You should at least try, especially for the first few days.
Why wouldn't you want to give your baby the best?

somebody posted a thread on here once recommending a new pro-bf campaign featuring the breast cancer link - something like "if you think bf hurts you should try breast cancer" or something like that

I would say I'm "pro-bf", but, after hearing some of the talk on here, I think I'm going to call myself "pro-choice" on bf matters.

greensleeves - unbelievable.

I remember that thread greeny, I had to step away from it in the end.

I hope BF goes better this time than it did with DD. The difference is I am not going to beat myself up and feel like a failure like I did last time if it doesn't.

"She was advised by the hospital to give him Aptamil as closest to breast milk"

Not sure the shock tactics (little girl by the grave) are remotely appropriate or useful.

OP, at least give it a go, and get to at least six weeks before you dedide either way. Six weeks is not long in the scheme of things (although it might feel like it at the time!) and then you can make not only an informed decision, but one based on your personal experience. You might love it and think it is the best thing you have ever done (once you get over the initial pain and exhaustion), and if you don't try it, you'll never know. You might hate it and decide its not for you, in which case you will have given your baby all those crazy immuno-long words-that-i-can't-spell factors that might help you baby in the long run.

sorry about the typos - i was a breastfed baby - clearly not very intelligent after all!

Aptamil is no closer to breastmilk than any of the others. Formula is an excellent way of feeding a baby, but no formula can or will ever compare to breastmilk. It just isn't possible.

No studies done - no company wants a study done - can you just imagine what would happen on the outcome! Formula can never match breastmilk as breastmilk is as unique as the individual baby it is feeding - it constantly changes to meet the needs.

As always - your body, your baby etc - but companies don't make formula for your baby's benefit only for themselves and the balance sheet at the end of the day - isn't it amazing that even without promotion/advertising they still manage to get a message across as 'ours is the best' - 'closest to breastmilk'. A wonderful con don't you think - potentially preying on those mums that are vunerable, exhausted etc.

Formula - there to serve a purpose. Not much to choose between them - although your baby might suit one over the other.

It amazes me that Mums will turn on each other so very quickly when it comes to this issue!

Whether you choose to BF or FF your baby, all that matters is that you are a loving caring mother who looks after her children and does what's best for both them and her!

BF when you are finding it very difficult, dreading every feed, exhausted and tearful is detremental to your own and your child's well being. I am speaking from experience. Any mother who struggles with BF or chooses not to BF at all does not need to be pressured and made to feel like a bad mother by the very people that claim to be there to support new mums on threads like this.

Equally, voicing that you feel 'freaked out' by BF or that it produces scrawny whingy kids is pathetic. Breastfeeding is natural and Mums should feel comfortable feeding where and when they like.

How about everyone just leaves each other alone, and realises that being a mum is a hard job, and BF or FF is only one small decision. There are many other decisions you make that affect your child's development far more!
No-one should be applauded or chastised for either! sorry for the long post but this really irritates me!

I didn't want to bf. Found the whole thing grim and a bit scary. Thought, though, that I should give it a go as I knew it was good for the baby. So I tried it, loved it and did it for 7 months. But also mixed in a few formula feeds as I started to cut back. I don't think it's anyone's place to judge what you choose - up to you. Plus DH got to do the 10.30 feed as formula from about 10 weeks onwards as I was totally knackered and it meant he got to do some bonding time with DD and I got to have a decent length of sleep from 8.30 onwards.

Only thing I would say is that at 4am, being able to just pop a nipple in their mouth is so much easier than having to make up bottles!

But really, I agree with linzi - being a mum is hard work, and it's full of difficult decisions. No one is going to agree that one thing or another is right or wrong. Every opinion you have will find people with strong views the opposite of what you think. Just put your baby first - and if that means for your own sanity that you ff, then do it.

Hear hear, Linzi, couldn't have put it better.

Well put, linzi. I like you a lot.

elusive

I have always had my suspicions about the "breafeeding nazis" and you have put me right!!!! PLEASE tell me where you used to work

Linzi hits the nail on head

FF get sneered at by the BF nazis
BF get sneered out for getting their baps out

Its SO depressing if you really think about it

did the Op ever come back?

No sign of the OP

hmmmmmmm that speaks volumes

Thanx guys

I have lots of mum friends, some bfed for 18 months, some for a couple, some mixed, some solely ff.
All of our kids are happy and healthy, None are scrawny, none are heading for obesity!

And one more thing...experienced MNetters shud realise that newcomers (like myself) who don't get the reference, will just see one group of mums calling a fellow mum a 'troll' This may well make new people not want to get involved with MN at all. So i have to agree with starexpat Just dont say anything anything at all, or think of a less offensive tag!

No matter what your angle here, the term "bf nazis" is deeply offensive and, more prosaically, knobbish in the extreme.

Please desist.

no! why should I?

Unless you can think of a better alternative?

BF zealots? BF disciples? BF ???

online thesaurus not working............

BF Evangelists good. As means they are spreading good news and infers positive intention rather than negative??!

It's insulting to those who dies at the hands of the actual Nazis for a start.