AIBU to not want to breastfeed?

[VixeyV]

Hi this is my first post but I have been a lurker since the start of my pregnancy.

Anyway, my question is I'm 20 weeks pregnant and the midwife keeps pushing me into breastfeeding. I just don't want to and don't get why she won't stop asking me how I'll feed.

To be honest, the thought of it freaks me out. I didn't breastfeed my daughter and she's fine on formula, she has aptimal because that's the best.

So what do you think? Should my midwife stop nagging me?

alle01 - wait....is it being suggested that breast milk is the best thing for babies? you can't say that...it might not be a mother's 'choice'!!

(runs)

ha ha ha sungirltan!!!!! TAKE COVER!!!!!

sungirl, it is a personal decission to bf your baby of not, but you cannot formulate something to be like a substance that keeps changing, but yes, especially colostrum is the best thing, if you can't or won't bf, then you need to find the best formula for your baby,

"aptimel closest to breast milk?, breast milk is individual to your baby in a moment in time, it changes with your baby's needs, there is not such a thing formulated as breast milk, you can promote a product but, making stuff up?"

Aptimal are not saying their product does everything breast milk does nor does it makes any claims about adapting itself to your baby's needs like breastmilk does.

"The closest thing to breastmilk" - is that such a bad thing to say? Its not saying it is breastmilk. Its saying its the closest thing.

So if breastmilk contains say 5 key ingredients, for arguments sake, I know it contains a lot more than that, but 5 key ingredients and other products on the market have 3 of these 5 and Aptimil has 4 of these 5, it is then closer to breastmilk.

I think Aptimil are promoting the fact that they have done various research into things like long chain polyunsaturates and probiotics etc and made a formula that they feel contains as many things as they can possibly get in an artificial milk that do occur in breastmilk as well.

They'll never be able to make it adapt to babies needs, or have the live enzymes, the antibodies, and all that jazz. But they are not really saying that are they? And to say they are trying to make us think that - are they? I suppose they might be but to just analyse the language, its not really trickery, they are basically saying, "breastmilk substitute" (which it is - not equal substitute, but substitue nevertheless) and "closest to breastmilk" i.e more so than perhaps SMA is because its lacking something or other or Cow and Gate which doesn't have this or that (dont know if that is the case by the way, but I know they are pretty bound by what claims they can make in terms of competitors as well)

If I were a mother who was trying to choose a milk, I'd want to know which one contained as much as possible of the good stuff that my breast milk would have contained. I'd want some kind of independent analysis on it, and wouldn't necessarily swallow the marketing without questioning it but is it really making stuff up?

it sounds just like a slogan to lure you in, sorry, as you say cannot have some of the essential qualities of breast milk,... but it might be the best thing if you are not breast feeding.
one thing makes me curious, why such a passionate defense of a trade mark? why you feel such a strong need to defend a product? especially when i didn't say it is bad or even it is not the best, i just said it cannot be close to breast milk for obvious reasons.

The closest formula to breastmilk has to be the one without all the additives in it, surely? No Immunofortis or whatever it is that they put in that faffs around with a newborn's digestive system.

That might be Hipp Organic, I don't know. I do know that it's cheaper than Aptamil. DS started having some formula at a year and it was the only one he would go near.

Aptamil made my baby constipated. We like SMA.

one bit of advice if you are mix feeding anyone.....dont do what i did and give hungry baby formula......it made ds constipated and is way too heavy on his tummy in comparison to breast milk!!

I use Aptamil but seeing as though its made in same factory as cow and gate and has the same style packaging who knows if it is actually any different inside!!!.....Its a bit like heinz or shops own ketchup LOL

"one thing makes me curious, why such a passionate defense of a trade mark"

Who me? I dont think its so much a passionate defence, it just seems a little unfair, like they are saying something they are actually not. I would have defended the other brands too for saying the same thing if they did.

Now someone else has mentioned it and jogged my memory though, the whole "Immunofortis" thing - now that really is making stuff up and that really gives me the shits to be honest. Calling something that is presumably natural (probiotic of some kind) a brand name or giving it a tag in its own right, is really really annoying. "immonofortis" what a load of pap. Its got probiotics in it. They may help boost your immune function. Why not just say that! Grrr.

I think they had to do something about that as a result of this, not sure if they've changed the packing, tagline or what though.

sparkly cherry Im sorry but you cannot say dont do this etc, as FF is very much trial and error, so the product suits individual needs, its not a one for all or nothing.

I thought it was well known that Apitimal and ow and gate are the same product, you only have to look at the "ingredients" to know this

That may be the case but Aptimil is being targeted here because of their tagline and branding of prebiotics. Cow and Gate dont say "immunofortis" or "closest to breastmilk" that I am aware...

When I was encouraged/pressured to give son a bottle in hospital, they trotted out the "closer to breastmilk" line about Aptamil. Tbh I can't actually remember the other brand being offered.

i thought the hospital is supposed to encourage you to breast feed?, and to tell you colostrum is all the baby need until you start producing milk

Depends how busy they are Alle!

When I had my most recent baby, I was in a bay with about 7 other women.

They were at full capacity. The ward was heaving. The delivery suite was closed for admissions. Midwives were running around like headless chickens.

There were a couple of women struggling to breastfeed, I think the main problem was that their babies were very hungry and very unsettled.

There was another women struggling to latch on at all.

By 6am the following morning, out of the 8 of us in there, 6 had given formula to their newborns, provided by the hosptial for free, the main brand being offered was SMA.

That's what I thought too...

see your point, i am about to give birth any day now, and all mw and hospital staff has told me so far that they want me to breast feed and i'll get all the support in the world,... i never actually thought of overworked midwives, trying to see everyone at once,... i am determined to breast feed, will have to make sure dh doesn't allow anybody with a bottle near the baby, i don't think i'll be in a condition to think straight.

i was being sarcastic.

but i'm a bf nazi. don't mind me

oh, sorry sungirl, i thought you were serious, i am planning to bf exclusively, so you'll be happy with me.

Congratulations alle01, keep us updated. There's always someone here to help though not sure if you're allowed to use laptops or internet phones in hospital these days

They'll need your permission to give formula to your baby. If your DH overrides you, they might not listen to him (it depends hopsital to hospital but in ours the father may as well be called the sperm donor. This is not always a bad thing though when you think about it, because some of them are a bit clueless about these sort of things and how they can impact long term the choices of the primary carer. They are a bit damned if they do and damned if they dont.

The fact is though when there are catheters literally overflowing onto the floor, medications that have not been given, blood pressure that has not been taken, women needing help with latching on and positioning dont get a lot of look in.

Its a shame that in some hospitals in these kinds of situations, formula is almost a first resort - I'm not talking about with the mothers here, but with midwives. If it were the mothers requesting it, you could argue that it is their right to choose etc, but these were mothers who had every intention of establishing exclusive breastfeeding and may well have been better off being told to hang in there, keep trying, and that things would hopefully die down soon enough. Or even to go for a walk and try and find a 2nd time mum who had breastfed to get tips off! (I say that because that's what I did when I had my first and was struggling, and couldn't get any sense out of the midwives. I sat next to a 2nd time mum and she let me watch her feed her baby and then she watched me latch on and gave me some tips - I was smothering poor child - sorted out the positioning and crooked neck thing and we were off...bit of a boob fest though...)

I really, really dislike aptamil's marketing strategy as I believe it's overpriced and aimed at mothers who feel guilty about not breastfeeding (for whatever reason, usually not free choice).

"she has aptimal because that's the best."

Is this a joke?