Milamae - you have described breastfeeding as an 'optimal' parenting behaviour, like feeding a child on a perfectly balanced weaning diet, buying them educational toys and limiting television. If that's the case - how are we supposed to see bottlefeeding? As the 'good enough' standard against which breastfeeding should be measured? But breastfeeding isn't perfect parenting behaviour - it's simply the biologically normal way to feed babies, generally possible for all women - rich and poor, old and young, educated and uneducated.
Anyway - this summary of Diane Weissinger's essay 'mind your language' explains it better than me:
"Negative Messages In Breastfeeding Language@
People tend to use a pocketful of standard language when attempting to support a newly-breastfeeding mom. Words like ?best?, ?advantages?, ?special bond?, and a slew of adjectives to describe the breastfed baby that end in ?er: ?smarter, healthier, better-smelling?. While this sounds benign, even positive, there are hidden messages to these words that may undermine a woman?s breastfeeding efforts. Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC addresses these in her essay, ?Watch Your Language?, originally published in the Journal of Human Lactation, Vol. 12, No. 1, 1996.
Breast Is Best
How many breastfeeding supporters have spouted ?breast is best? or talked about the ?optimal? way to feed babies, the ?ideal? food? These words sound positive, but Wiessinger warns that the underlying message is that breastfeeding is something that perfect people, perfect moms aspire to, not regular people. Wiessinger asks if you are the ?best possible parent? or if your home is ?ideal?. Probably not. But ask yourself this: is your mothering ?inadequate?? Are your meals ?deficient??Those words have a completely different feel. Says Wiessinger, breastfeeding is not ?better? than formula feeding. Formula feeding is sub-standard as compared to the norm, which is breastfeeding.
Advantages of Breastfeeding
When encouraging a new mom to breastfeed, it seems perfectly fine and sensible to list the advantages of breastfeeding. However, Wiessinger points out that these advantages are often phrased in a way that establishes bottle and formula-feeding as the norm. When you talk about breastfed babies being smarter and healthier, you are essentially saying they are ?better than? what people normally are. In truth, many people are happy to just be normal. When the phrasing is changed to reflect breastfeeding as the norm, the sentiment again changes. Says Wiessinger, ?Breastfed babies are not ?healthier;? artificially-fed babies are ill more often and more seriously.? Breastfed babies are not smarter; artificially-fed children have lower IQs.
Special Bond Breastfeeding Brings
The special bond that breastfeeding brings is often spoken of. But should it be considered special, or should it be considered a basic, essential part of mothering? Wiessinger points out that the word ?special? often connotes something out of the ordinary. It?s a lot of work to build a ?special? relationship. Special means ?hard?, ?time-consuming?, ?above and beyond?. These are not words an exhausted new mom wants to contemplate. The bond between a nursing mom and her baby is nothing more than an extraordinary relationship that women were meant to have with their children. Artificially feeding robs them both of that bond.
Choice to Bottlefeed
Yes, the choice of how to feed your infant is there thanks to the billion-dollar formula industry. The medical community will often simply ask how a mother plans to feed her baby, and not intervene when the answer is ?bottle?. Wiessinger argues that if a woman confessed to her doctor that she had taken up smoking recently, he would do everything in his power to ensure she fully understood the hazards and risks of her choice, especially now when she had the greatest chance of making a change. Not giving parents the same treatment with regards to their feeding choice is at best hypocritical and at worst irresponsible. An uninformed choice is not a choice at all.