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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to breastfeed?

704 replies

VixeyV · 20/04/2010 23:04

Hi this is my first post but I have been a lurker since the start of my pregnancy.

Anyway, my question is I'm 20 weeks pregnant and the midwife keeps pushing me into breastfeeding. I just don't want to and don't get why she won't stop asking me how I'll feed.

To be honest, the thought of it freaks me out. I didn't breastfeed my daughter and she's fine on formula, she has aptimal because that's the best.

So what do you think? Should my midwife stop nagging me?

OP posts:
sparklycheerymummy · 24/04/2010 20:59

because of the way i have to bf my son..... under arm smothered by big boobs...... i get more eye contact when i ff him!!! i hold him close to my face!!

no one has mentioned about how important it is for dads to feed baby..... and not everyone is able to express!!!

rainbowinthesky · 24/04/2010 21:01

Why is it important for dad's to feed babies?

rainbowinthesky · 24/04/2010 21:01

dads not dad's

sparklycheerymummy · 24/04/2010 21:02

me and dp get pleasure from my boobs...... but not at moment.... he would get squirted in the eye but i do miss that!!!! ..... hope i am not the only one..... sex isnt the same without a bit of 'fiddling'!!! LOL

sparklycheerymummy · 24/04/2010 21:03

r u saying that its not important for a baby to bond with its father????

rainbowinthesky · 24/04/2010 21:04

No, I asked why it is important for dads to feed the baby?

Claire236 · 24/04/2010 21:04

hello sparkly

Of course it's important for dads to feed baby. Bonding for them, feeling involved. A lot of dads feel excluded & useless when baby is bf.

WinkyWinkola · 24/04/2010 21:04

Is feeding a baby the only way to bond with it?

rainbowinthesky · 24/04/2010 21:05

There are lots of ways to bond with a baby. I completely disagree that fathers cannot bond without feeding the baby.

booyhoo · 24/04/2010 21:06

it is very important for a baby to bond with it's father.

that doesn't mean it should take priority over the baby having it's basic nutritional needs met. which is what breastmilk does.

SloanyPony · 24/04/2010 21:06

I think it can be valuable for dad's to feed babies. My DH gives my daughter a bottle each night and if he didn't, he would not have seen her except on weekends for the first 6 months of her life. I think that was relatively important for their bond.

Though apparently the breastmilk being in a bottle means that he can't possibly bond and neither can she

Its certainly not a reason not to breastfeed, the dad feeding thing, and I do hate SMA use it in their ads...

Claire236 · 24/04/2010 21:06

Noone said dads couldn't bond without feeding just that being able to feed helps them to bond

WinkyWinkola · 24/04/2010 21:06

I bf'd all mine until 2 years of age and they adore their dad. In fact, they prefer him to me!

To say men feel useless because they can't feed the baby is ridiculous. It's only six months until the baby eats solids and he can feed it then.

Or the mother can express her excellent, superfine obesity busting, infection fighting, cancer reducing milk and he can give it to the baby in a bottle.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 24/04/2010 21:11

I loathe the term 'breastfeeding Nazis'.

It's coined by women who feel guilty about not bfing or other issues to get at those who do bf and do a grand job and who are enthusiastic about it.

The ones who should be targeted with vitriol are the formula companies whose marketing strategies have been so effective as to reduce breast feeding as non typical in our society. It's madness.

Trouble with breast milk is that you can't make money from it.

sparklycheerymummy · 24/04/2010 21:11

oh i am bored of this ridiculous discussion..... my dp LOVES coming home from work and giving ds a bottle.....ds rarely sits still so this is such a lovely time for dp to talk to him..... and look into his eyes. its more often than not a bottle of ebm...... or is that wrong now!!!!

sparklycheerymummy · 24/04/2010 21:12

dads often dont feel confident but feeding baby is something they can do easily!!

rainbowinthesky · 24/04/2010 21:13

Eh? No one said it was wrong. You said it was very important for fathers to feed their babies in order to bond. I asked why that is. It's perfectly possible to bond without feeding. That doesnt mean there's anything wrong with bottlefeeding.

WinkyWinkola · 24/04/2010 21:13

Is there something wrong with ebm? Surely not?

Great if you can someone to help with the feeding. But if you can't express or whatever, someone shouldn't feel they are depriving the baby's father of a bonding opportunity. Hugs and kisses and tickles and giggles are just as effective.

SloanyPony · 24/04/2010 21:13

So it can help a father to bond if they can feed baby from a bottle, yet if a mother feeds a baby from a bottle, she will (apparently) have a shit bond? Surely it doesn't work both ways? (I'm disputing the breastfeeding gives a better bond thing here)

Baby eats solids at 6 months - he can feed it then - clearly you have not partaken of a baby led weaning debate, you shoveller or forcefeeder

Joking by the way, but all things I have seen on this board in the past 6 weeks...

rainbowinthesky · 24/04/2010 21:14

Well, I know my dh wasnt nervous. In fact he was far more confident than me. He bonded perfectly well without ever needing to give a bottle. There are lots of ways to bond.
That's not teh same as saying there was anythign wrong with your dh giving a bottle but it doesnt mean that other dads have to do the same in order to bond.

booyhoo · 24/04/2010 21:16

OH was absent for teh 1st 3 years of ds1's life. they now have a closer bond than i do with ds1. no bottle required.

sparklycheerymummy · 24/04/2010 21:16

What is baby led weaning.... didnt have it when dd was a baby... i just fed her..... maybe its where the baby does the shopping ???? yes???? no????

rainbowinthesky · 24/04/2010 21:16

Bathing, nappy changes, carryign in a sling etc are fab ways to bond. All things dh did. I have never gotten up in the night for either of my dc.

rainbowinthesky · 24/04/2010 21:17

In fact the first time I gave ds a bath was when he was 6 months old.

sparklycheerymummy · 24/04/2010 21:17

ds doesnt do anything else .... feeding is all i can get him to do......long story but its something ok!

oh and dp is toooo large for the sling an dso is ds!!!

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