To think they could have planned this better?

[bilandsildrivemecrazy]

Have been stewing on this for a while and finally decided to brave AIBU with this

So, we have 2 DC and their birthdays are v close, less than 3 weeks apart.

We fell out with BIL and SIL a few years ago and none of us have any contact.

Also have a rocky relationship with PIL mainly due to their interfering behaviour but things are ok with them at the moment.

Anyway, BIL and SIL are having a 2nd child and the due date is slap bang in between my DC's birthdays, two days before my eldest birthday in fact!

I can just see years of conflict over PIL attending birthday parties etc and don't really understand why they absolutely had to plan it so they have a baby at this time, considering all the other months in the year there are!

So, AIBU?

Right, well there is obviously no-one on mumsnet who has EVER planned a baby's birth month then

Whatever.

And calling me a loon or whatever is just childish. I have the interests of everyone in the family at heart.

Well make up with bil and sil then, you loon!

I been waiting for someone to "fess" up and admit this a joke. YABU I don't think anyone should consider birthdays or abstain from trying to get preganat to please a relative they have nothing to do with.

I feel a bit sad if this is true as as your think appears quite unstable. Don't see you children as a competition just enjoy them.

what did you and your bil/sil fall out over then?

'I have the interests of everyone in the family at heart.'

Ok OP, I think I understand where you're coming from. I do have some advice actually.

If you truly have the interests of the whole family at heart, here's what you must do. It's hard, but you must give up your DCs for adoption. Your BIL and SIL will be so bowled over by your generosity the sneaky gits will come crawling for forgiveness, and your children will be spirited away to start life in a normal, non-made family.

A couple of guinea-pigs or maybe goldfish would be an excellent substitute outlet for your maternal energies.

Must be hard to have the world revolve around you..

FWIW I did plan the months of my DC's births and consider myself very lucky that it worked out as I wanted..

First time round, I was willing to stop TTC for a couple of months so as not to coincide with my sister's wedding, which I could not have travelled home to if I had been about to pop, but not for birthdays FFS.

My DC's birthdays are only a week apart.. they could have shared a birthday, the horror! And, drumroll, my Dad's is bang in the middle of the two. He was quite chuffed actually.

Ooh, I forgot - this being how utterly unimportant it is to me - but my cousin and I share a birthday.

Oddly enough, I don't think either set of parents threw a strop about it.

My younger sisters birthday is the day before mine, how dare my mother?!
I didn't want to share the limelight!

Ok, well thank you for your responses.

I'm going to take on board everything that's been said and give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they've just been thoughtless.

I would have been more considerate but they haven't been, so I just have to accept that.

Maybe we will have another one and aim for their eldest's birthday

Seriously!!!??

erm..well then YABU!

How do you have the interests of everyone in the family at heart! From what I can make out, You and only you seem to actually think this is an issue! It will only cause heartache, as you will make it so!

I hadn't really thought about it before but dp's nephew was born 12 days after MIL's birthday. I then went on to have three dds born in between those two dates! SIL must have HATED me and thought we only PLANNED it to ANNOY her. Absolutely no planning at all though!

Maybe their chidren will be cleverer/better looking/better at sport than your 2. Then what? You need to get preggers again pronto to ensure that all the attention is on YOU.

OP, do you hear this as you close your eyes and drift off to sleep.
"They're coming to take me away ha ha,
They're coming to take me away ho ho,
Hee hee, ha ha, to the funny farm,
Where life is beautiful all the time,
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats,
Cos they're coming to take me away ha haaaa!"?

Cos keep up the bitterness and sense of self-importance, and thats just what'll happen me dear.

But WHY? WHY would they consider you when you don't even speak to one another? WHY would they consider you when they fancy a shag?

Yes, people plan around things they feel are important and you've established in your OP that they aren't important enough to be in contact with so I assume they feel the same about you and your DH.

Madness.

If BIL had thought about you and your DH I imagine the 'moment of climax' would have been delayed by at least a month!

I love this thread.

OP insane as you are, thankyou for lightening my day.

wow, i had never even heard of Narcissistic Syndrome until Mumsnet, and here you are with an actual living example to illustrate the condition to me.

MN has educated me in so many ways over the years.

Hahahahaha

Brilliant.

Oh. My. God.

My BIL and SIL are expecting a baby. The due date is the date my baby died last year. I never for one minute thought they'd done it on purpose (and we don't get on either).

You are being pathetic. Grow up and enjoy your own family instead of worrying about others.

Perhaps I haven't explained the practical side of things here - we don't live near to BIL and SIL so every year now if the baby has a similar or same day birthday there is going to be tension over what day the party is and which one PIL attend.

sibling, your post brings a little perspective, much more so than all the outrage on this thread put together

I am sorry for your loss x

Perhaps you haven't read the responses here - you are bonkers.

We are not stupid, we understand that people cannot be in two places at once, but we still think you are unreasonable.

You asked AIBU? We say YES.

Well said siblingrivalry.

siblingrivalry So sorry to hear that