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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they could have planned this better?

181 replies

bilandsildrivemecrazy · 20/04/2010 18:03

Have been stewing on this for a while and finally decided to brave AIBU with this

So, we have 2 DC and their birthdays are v close, less than 3 weeks apart.

We fell out with BIL and SIL a few years ago and none of us have any contact.

Also have a rocky relationship with PIL mainly due to their interfering behaviour but things are ok with them at the moment.

Anyway, BIL and SIL are having a 2nd child and the due date is slap bang in between my DC's birthdays, two days before my eldest birthday in fact!

I can just see years of conflict over PIL attending birthday parties etc and don't really understand why they absolutely had to plan it so they have a baby at this time, considering all the other months in the year there are!

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 20/04/2010 18:39

why didn't you abstain so that your two dc didn't have birthdays in the same month ??

very bad planning

posieparker · 20/04/2010 18:40

No you're right just before BIL was about to climax he should have thought about you and your DH, remembered when your dcs birthdays were and retreated unspent.

Original poster
bilandsildrivemecrazy · 20/04/2010 18:41

My DCs birthdays are nearly three weeks apart and it doesn't matter if they have parties on the same day (joint party!) as we all get along.

Not the same at all, stupid to say it is.

OP posts:
stripeyknickersspottysocks · 20/04/2010 18:44

Maybe they just don't give a shit about you to care if it causes you heartache.

Your SIL has beaten you by having the newest baby and she knows the grandparents will go and see the new baby over your kids. So she wins, actually I bet she did do it on purpose and is loving it.

BariatricObama · 20/04/2010 18:44

i wouldn't count on not falling out with your dc....

hocuspontas · 20/04/2010 18:45

But WHY would they abstain to avoid years of family heartache? It doesn't seem like they are experiencing any 'heartache' at all. Probably thankful that you are not on speaking terms I would imagine!

lovechoc · 20/04/2010 18:46

Why worry over something you have no control over? Be happy for them having their second baby and sadly you can't just time when you want to have a child - doesn't always work that way for many couples!

hocuspontas · 20/04/2010 18:47

Yikes! Can't believe I'm taking this seriously. I KNOW it's not real...

skidoodly · 20/04/2010 18:48

Why didn't you abstain entirely?

pointydog · 20/04/2010 18:49

op is so unreasonable. You are being irrational about all this.

runnybottom · 20/04/2010 18:49

I bet your sil did it on purpose, knowing you are a loon you would hate it.
If my sil was as bonkers as you, I would, just for the larf like.

posieparker · 20/04/2010 18:50

Imagine if it's twins.....

Scrudd · 20/04/2010 18:52

I doubt they even took you into consideration, considering YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY CONTACT WITH THEM FOR A FEW YEARS .

LOL!

Any chance that your prize winning children were born after you fell out with them? It's possible they don't even know when their birthdays are.

hocuspontas · 20/04/2010 18:53

at twins!

dolphin13 · 20/04/2010 18:54

This is a wind up isn't it.

BIL please tell us this is a joke, if not you are seriously deranged you need help.
What does your DP think about this.

expatinscotland · 20/04/2010 18:54

Even though this thread is just a larf, sadly, there are really people who think like this. Although thankfully, I have only encountered them among Americans .

I did know one woman was who particularly miffed that her brother's wife was going to have the first grandchild.

As if anyone else in the world gives a fuck.

DuelingFanjo · 20/04/2010 18:54

Assuming you are not a roll or some weird bloke from another site posting the sort of thing you think women give a shit about....

YABU and the reason is that you call them attention seeking and yet you are acting as if the whole world should revolve around you and your lives and needs. You need to seriously think about getting some counselling somewhere if this kind of thing causes you stress.

As someone who tried and tried and tried to get pregnant without success I can tell you that they'd be very lucky to plan a due date smack bang in the middle of two very close birthdays just to spite you.

You are being an idiot and a fool and need to find some techniques to deal with what can only be described as bizzare reactions to other people's lives.

DuelingFanjo · 20/04/2010 18:55

for roll read troll

posieparker · 20/04/2010 18:56

I'm liking the OP being a roll!

BariatricObama · 20/04/2010 18:59

the op is a floury bap

RedBlueRed · 20/04/2010 19:02

Get your self on Jeremy Kyle!

Feuding families
If you're having problems with relatives and need answers call Naomi on 0161 95 20747 or email [email protected]

purplefish · 20/04/2010 19:02

This is so funny

But sadly I have family members (cousins) who think like this too. One of them always ahs to have the baby...my aunt will end up with about 50 grandchildren at this rate...who has the prettiest, who has the cleverest, who has the most...I could go on!

I was reeally inconsiderate to my parents/inlaws etc as I had DS3 on DS2's 2nd birthday...a week before Christmas Funnily enough, when we were trying for DS3, I didn't even think about what month he would be born in, let alone the fact that they could have the same birthday.

I also hate this oneupmanship about who has girls/boys/one of each! I have all boys, I love it! I don't consider one of each to be the perfect family!

Can't you just be pleased for them. You will have a new nephew! Or maybe you can't but it doesn't really matter if you don't see them.

Oh but then they will get more attention than you.....

Maybe you should have another baby

purplefish · 20/04/2010 19:04

Ooh did someone mention twins? My sister has twins...she is winning!!!! I'd best get trying for twins then

Scrudd · 20/04/2010 19:05

God yes, purplefish! the perfect solution! If they could arrange to have a genius, that would be even better.

purplefish · 20/04/2010 19:07

They could have twin geniuses (is that a word?)