To get a teeny bit irritated by people who "parent loudly"

[Rollergirl1]

I was at the swimming baths yesterday and there was a mother with her toddler DD getting her dressed into her swimming costume. They were sat the bench just across from me and mother kept up a running commentary in a booming jovial voice the entire time...

" Come now Evie, shall we take your trousers off now? What colour are your trousers? Are they pink? Can you say pink? Oh good girl! Can you stand up for Mummy? No Evie, stay here like a good girl. Gosh you are a little monkey aren't you. What sound does a monkey make? That's right. Okay, shall we bring Ducky with us? What colour is Ducky? Is he yellow? Oh you clever thing. Can you say ducky? What sound do ducks make? Quack quack yellow ducky." And it went on. And on.

It really isn't a crime atall but I got the distinct impression that it was all for everyone else's benefit and she was expecting everyone in there to comment on her exceptional parenting and how well she interacts with her child, and isn't Evie just the cutest little thing and how old is she.........when instead I was just thinking SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

I know it probably makes me sound like a right cow but I just find the whole "look at what a great parent I am" thing kinda irksome.

?

I would be impressed if I saw a two year old actually swimming properly. And if that were my two year old, you can bet I would let everyone know about it

this one very funny

I am afraid I do this too but not for other peoples's benefit. Both my dc were slow to talk so trying to encourage speech.

Tbh I find it v irritating when people write "kinda" but I couldn't be arsed to start a thread about it.

2 all time faves from both sides of the divide...

Going into school nursery, very earnest daddy asking 3 year old 'And tell me the name of a third flying dinoasaur?'

And the irate mother in the street calling her daughter back 'Dignity! Get the f* back here!'

my righby kid
"Jasper ( or whatever) focus"

he was 5

rugby

PMSL at "Jasper.....Focus". . Has this been on here before? Sounds familiar.

Oh for goodness sake!!

How many times does it have to be spelt out - the issue is not with simply talking to your children!!!!!!

Just so it's clear.

Talking to your children is normal.

Talking to your children, even asking them questions about what they're seeing, loudly, is within the realms of normal.

Talking to your children then looking around for approval is not only abnormal, but annoying and likely to invite ridicule.

MintHumbug raises a very good point- one of the best techniques for teaching conversational skills to children with ASD is to ask open ended questions, and to let the conversation to fall silent rather than quizzing them about their knowledge and gleaning one-word answers.

The parents this thread is about are the ones who quiz their children to show off their knowledge, not parents who speak loudly and communicate with their SN children.

oh many a time
it wasnt Jasper though i cant remember hwat it was
and was abut 5 years ago!

I do this with my DD and she can't even talk yet.

I do it because I am suffering badly with pnd and anxiety, and I find it really hard to leave the house.

Talking to DD as we go about whatever it is we are doing helps me to keep calm and not have a panic attack.

It also helps me focus on what I am doing as when my anxiety levels are really high I struggle to stay on task.

Things aren't always how they seem.

People might see me and think I am over confident and being annoying.

The truth is I am dying inside and trying to keep my head straight enough to avoid a public meltdown

Just in case anyone is listening, which I suspect they're not, but how would one go about starting a thread on MN? I've been lurking/posting for about a month and I still don't know this. I cannot see a 'start thread' button anywhere

They really should throw me out now, I know.

Scrudd - look at the top of this thread. Just under "Am I Being Unreasonable" there is a link saying "Start a new thread in this topic" (on the same line as Flip this thread, Watch this thread, etc). So go to the relevant topic and then start a new thread!

Scudd You see where it says Mumsnet Talk at the top of the page, and then there are some links under that - then it says 'Talk: Am I being unreasonable' - well, right under the word 'talk' there is a link which says 'Start new thread within this topic'.

The bottom line is that 'swimming pool Evie' will have a high IQ, good verbal skills, powers of recall, enjoy learning and being tested and do well in school and life. Carry on judging her Mother if you think she was doing it for your benefit but I think it was for Evies benefit, and benefit she will. I was like this with my kids many moons ago when they were little and now they're all much older I'm reaping the benefits. The Mums like you who sneered at me then? I have no clue what happened to them, nor do I give a shit!!

'one of the best techniques for teaching conversational skills to children with ASD is to ask open ended questions, and to let the conversation to fall silent rather than quizzing them about their knowledge and gleaning one-word answers.'

Who says? It certainly doesn't work for us. DS has good imitation skills so the way to teach him conversation is to model the full version, prompting one concrete response at a time and using a subject that is interesting and motivation which is usually a topic far advance of what his peers will be likely to know.

I KNOW people keep saying that it is a particular type of parent that you are judging but you can't tell the difference, and I KNOW this because a)I have had eyes rolled at me and b)I have recently begun to model my approach on the parenting conversations I have heard in swimming booths etc because I am not a natural and need guidance.

Hmmmm...... I tend to talk to my DD all the time, and narrate things for her, talking to a child helps their language development.

YANBU to find it annoying that she was being so loud about it, unless she had to talk loudly to keep her child's attention over the noise in the changing room. I talk to DD all the time, but not at the top of my voice!

memoo, you don't quiz your DD in order to show the world at large how much information she has retained- nobody is saying that it isn't good to talk to babies. And nobody would put you in this category.

Hope you're ok, though- I know what PND can be like

Cat64 if you are a professional working with young children, then you ought to know that recognising colour is a tricky concept and one of the most variable milestones.Some children entering nursery or even reception will not be developmentally ready to do this and all the teaching in the world would make no difference to that fact.

Angrywasp, I said it was one of^, not the only or definitive technique.

You know what works best for your DS.

Conversational skills are more than rote learning a particular conversation.

I learnt my lesson many years ago when DS was very young. He could name every plant in my garden and I thought he was nothing short of a genius.

One day at a market flower stall, I pointed to a plant and asked him to name it (yes, to my utter shame, I admit I was showing off).

He very loudly stated "Fish Finger".

Taught me a valuable lesson