To get a teeny bit irritated by people who "parent loudly"

[Rollergirl1]

I was at the swimming baths yesterday and there was a mother with her toddler DD getting her dressed into her swimming costume. They were sat the bench just across from me and mother kept up a running commentary in a booming jovial voice the entire time...

" Come now Evie, shall we take your trousers off now? What colour are your trousers? Are they pink? Can you say pink? Oh good girl! Can you stand up for Mummy? No Evie, stay here like a good girl. Gosh you are a little monkey aren't you. What sound does a monkey make? That's right. Okay, shall we bring Ducky with us? What colour is Ducky? Is he yellow? Oh you clever thing. Can you say ducky? What sound do ducks make? Quack quack yellow ducky." And it went on. And on.

It really isn't a crime atall but I got the distinct impression that it was all for everyone else's benefit and she was expecting everyone in there to comment on her exceptional parenting and how well she interacts with her child, and isn't Evie just the cutest little thing and how old is she.........when instead I was just thinking SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

I know it probably makes me sound like a right cow but I just find the whole "look at what a great parent I am" thing kinda irksome.

Ok well I certainly never look round - can't take my eyes off dd3 - so I will try to relax about this.

I agree with gramercy this is nothing to do with SN kids. I have a dd with SN and communication difficulties. I often have to speak very clearly and loudly to her to get her to focus and understand.

There was a woman in the library the other day helping her DS (who looked barely out of nappies) choose a book. He picked up an early reader which she quickly put back whilst shouting "Oh no Jasper you can read in the 9 - 12 age range that is much to easy for you" then takes a smug look around the room to check everyone heard. The librarian looked at me like this

And what do we call the donkey's 'tail' then?

i think the fact the child was called evie says it all. You often find loud talking to a child usually when it has a ghastly name spoken out loud as well as if to say we have a very special name here. like one a hundred years old. Nellie or maud etc. which by the way never ever seems to suit the child.

I get looks too- Only today on the bus, DD(18mo) decided to ask for chocolate. I said no. She sighed and said loudly "Oh God!".

We all get judged.

Hatty dearest that's what we call a DIRK DIGGLER

can you say DIRK DIGGLER hatty?
Oooooh you're so clever!!!!!!

I want to know what a donkey's tail is called too!

I'm really laughing about the librarian sharing a raised eyebrow moment

morecrack is that the scientific name?

'He was hung like a dirk diggler'

Noun diggler
verb to diggle
adverb digglerific

fyi hth

lol at donkey cock

edwardcullensotherwoman thankyou, I think that's an all time Mumsnet first for me!
Hey listen, I am totally not meaning to offend anyone whose children have SN, as others have said this is about loud, competitive parenting (in my experience confined to Dulwich Park - 'We love sharing, don't we Hercules?'
Herclues: 'NO'!
or my dd's own poncey nursery!)
lol @ Jasper in the library.

I have an Evie

I have to say that I'm with NL on this (except she's more eloquent than I am) as I would be exactly the same with my dc, esp dd2 who requires the constant interaction to allow me to get anything done.

I actually feel that the particular example given in the OP was the weakest example - it didn't even state the parent looked round for approval (which I'm sure we do all recognise as a form of performance parenting), just that it was felt it was for everyone else's benefit. There's nothing in the description to back that up apart from OP's feeling though. I think that particular example sounds exactly like I would sound if I were trying to get dd2 to cooperate with getting into her costume/out of her costume and back into nappy and clothes. I talk about colours, say "oh what's this" etc to distract.

Obviously I'd do all this from the seclusion of a separate changing booth if at all possible because of the horror I have of communal changing rooms

But I have to say that imo the particular example of the OP is probably contributing to several posters feeling it describes their style of talking to their children. And feeling a bit self-conscious about it.

Maybe some of us are looking around to see how many people are judging us.

I'm with Northern on this. There was nothing in the OP to suggest the woman was looking around.

I parent ds very loudly. I have to concentrate and keep the questions coming, sometimes at a high level to keep him engaged and not deliberately weeing in yur handbag. It doesn't flow naturally. I sometimes even have to be creative and showy-offy for my OWN boredom levels, but it makes the difference between being able to go swimming and not.

I am a bit offended that people are intolerant of this, but the reason it upsets me is because it highlights further discrimination and ingoraance that me and my family have to face because ds is disabled.

Norkily - actually that's a pretty eloquent explanation. The op's example is bang on the sort of conversation we would/do have as well.

thanks morecrack it h'd a lot

please no more attempts at wit on mn
tis a serious forum
for serious parents

I parent loudly as I have to make sure everyone hears when I'm nice to the dcs!!

Apologies. I can't help it. Just wait until there's a thread about death It's an affliction!

I can't be arsed to read the other replies agree with the OP

I was swimming a few weeks ago and there was a mum with her DD who was obviously the only 2 year old ever to swim judging by the very loud constant comments

the op reminded me of that joyce green....(what was her name) play

George dont do that