To get a teeny bit irritated by people who "parent loudly"

[Rollergirl1]

I was at the swimming baths yesterday and there was a mother with her toddler DD getting her dressed into her swimming costume. They were sat the bench just across from me and mother kept up a running commentary in a booming jovial voice the entire time...

" Come now Evie, shall we take your trousers off now? What colour are your trousers? Are they pink? Can you say pink? Oh good girl! Can you stand up for Mummy? No Evie, stay here like a good girl. Gosh you are a little monkey aren't you. What sound does a monkey make? That's right. Okay, shall we bring Ducky with us? What colour is Ducky? Is he yellow? Oh you clever thing. Can you say ducky? What sound do ducks make? Quack quack yellow ducky." And it went on. And on.

It really isn't a crime atall but I got the distinct impression that it was all for everyone else's benefit and she was expecting everyone in there to comment on her exceptional parenting and how well she interacts with her child, and isn't Evie just the cutest little thing and how old is she.........when instead I was just thinking SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

I know it probably makes me sound like a right cow but I just find the whole "look at what a great parent I am" thing kinda irksome.

hatchypom - can I have a badge too. We are also learning makaton with DS2 as he has a speech delay. So I probably look like I am trying way too hard, speaking loudly and doing signs.

at Superman Isaac

I don't want to upset people (let alone add to the fearful angst that this topic appears to have generated) but it really is important to stop being so precious and actually read what is being written. Nobody, like nobody is suggesting that the individual children of parents on this topic are suffering from "Performance Parenting". This unfortunate condition not being the same thing as needing to speak to your child, needing to speak loudly to your child or even speaking to your child. Let alone enjoying the fun of having conversations with your children.

smallwhitecat: Yes and posting insults on an internet forum is far more productive.

"A potato is actually a tuber , Androcles"

lol
not REALLY
i heard of a kid the other day with a kerazee name, god what was it - something biblical in the wrong way,,will think on

You are making a lot of assumptions.Perhaps the child has hearing difficulties

ha at tuber!

Christonabike!

Samson

that was it.
white kid
weedy
samson.

no Pikelit, it was samson

I have spent most of my career working with children with a wide range of communication and behavioural difficulties.

I- and I'm sure most others on the thread- can tell the difference.

FGS - this is a fun thread about gruesome parents who are showing off.

This is exactly what people are complaining about now re MumsNet: you have a laugh and then this bunch of professionally offended people come in and pour cold water all over it.

and ENJOY being offended.
a dn go on and on reading the thread taking offence!

tethersend - I'm not sure how you spot a deaf child unless you can see their aids ?

It is about the parents, not the child.

Sniggers @AnnDaloozier

Seconds everything gramercy said.

I think the telling sign between a parent with a SN child having to use extra effort because of the SN (perhaps a hearing problem) and 'loud parenting' in terms of smug attention seeking, is the look given immediately following the loudness. If they hold their child's gaze then they are simply being normal. If they look up and around to see who's noticed what they said/did then they are an attention seeking arse who needs validation from people everywhere.

Perhaps those that do the latter should become Z list celebs.

oh dear: i am a CM and am now convinced I overdo it sometimes!!!

sometimes it is because something is just that interesting. other times it is to diffuse an otherwise explosive situation. other times it is to focus the children's attention on something for some reason or other.

gramercy - that is not the case at all. I have posted on mnet for 3 years and have rarely been upset by anything. I am about as far from the professional offended as you can get. This thread has really got to me though and I am entitled to say as much. It's all very well (and very kind) of posters to be clear this doesn't mean me - but how do you know that? I don't see anybody here posting a cast iron way of differentiating between the minority who are so misled as to show off about their child's attributes and those parents who are simply talking to their children about topics of mutual interest.
I repeat - tis is not an aspect of my parenting I had ever thought people would judge one another on - and I'm bloody upset to discover I was wrong. Especially as parenting dd3 in public is a challenge and I can do without being undermined.

of course people judge you though
of course people think other people are loons
so what?

( i speak as one who got a thrill from cleaning out my airing cupboard today)

Nobody IS judging your parenting, NM. Please, please stop taking everything personally when in fact, nothing is aimed at you!

i dunno
it is
everyone judegs everyone else

its stupid to think they dont.

Northernlurker for me, the difference is that a nice, normal chatty mum talks TO their children and engages with them. A Performance Parent talks AT or FOR their child and without fail looks around them seeking attention and approval from everyone around.

It's the looking around that gets me. I can speak quite loudly, and often spout nonsense in an effort to keep kids entertained, but I don't do it for the benefit of the other adults in the vicinity. Someone very close to me does and it's cringe-worthy.

vair posh lady at farm today doin this

ooh Hatty look at donkeys tail
rather like a fox no?
what do we call foxes tail?
ooooooh clever girl it's a BRUSH!

was all going splendidly til hatty took a swipe at enormous donkey cock hanging at eye level

they swiftly moved on
rucksack and all