To get a teeny bit irritated by people who "parent loudly"

[Rollergirl1]

I was at the swimming baths yesterday and there was a mother with her toddler DD getting her dressed into her swimming costume. They were sat the bench just across from me and mother kept up a running commentary in a booming jovial voice the entire time...

" Come now Evie, shall we take your trousers off now? What colour are your trousers? Are they pink? Can you say pink? Oh good girl! Can you stand up for Mummy? No Evie, stay here like a good girl. Gosh you are a little monkey aren't you. What sound does a monkey make? That's right. Okay, shall we bring Ducky with us? What colour is Ducky? Is he yellow? Oh you clever thing. Can you say ducky? What sound do ducks make? Quack quack yellow ducky." And it went on. And on.

It really isn't a crime atall but I got the distinct impression that it was all for everyone else's benefit and she was expecting everyone in there to comment on her exceptional parenting and how well she interacts with her child, and isn't Evie just the cutest little thing and how old is she.........when instead I was just thinking SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

I know it probably makes me sound like a right cow but I just find the whole "look at what a great parent I am" thing kinda irksome.

(I have enjoyed this - I like SALT info, I think I should have headed down that career path myself; also I do tend to ask my ddog earnest questions!) We sat beside a family in a National Trust tearoom years ago, and have a new family tradition if out. My kids say loudly 'This brown bread is delicious, may I please have some more?' Parent agrees, with added discussion of it being so healthy. Later parent slips kid some money for showing us up in a good light.

Hello again rosie

jajas You see that is the very comment that is getting people's backs up. HOW do you know the difference. People in home counties have disabled children too you know.

I spent 10 very busy minutes talking to ds2 about his week before lunch today.
It saved cutlery from bouncing off the light fittings in the pub while food was awaited.
Which is preferable? I am quite happy to accept that both are irritating, though.

Whats this home counties business... which are the home counties... am I thick? I have never had the guts to ask anyone before as Im sure I should know this...?

I live in Berkshire.

I am middle class.

I have never parented 'loudly'

Jajas, I live oop North, work and live in a deprived area of the inner city and I don't hear a lot of it about, believe me.. far more likely to hear a kid called a 'useless fucking c*' than conversations about basil and lime icecream. I've sat in clinic with parents who have called their kids 'lazy idiot' and 'good for nothing' . So it seems fairly distant..

Okay, so now I am a bit annoyed. Because UQD's example in the Science Museum was far more dramatic and obvious it makes it all the more reasonable and understandable. It probably didn't even happen atall but was a scenario he invented for drama and to make his point.

But my everyday scenario didn't cut the mustard because the way I worded it was too average.

So you disregard me as someone that can't tell the difference?

Yeah, great fucking reasoning.

I remember being a young single Mum and doing this all the time and, yes, I was looking for approval because I felt so judged by everyone and wanted to prove I was a good Mummy - DD now 12 and delightful BTW.

10 years on, 2nd dc is almost 2, I am more confident and I never seek the approval of others when it comes to parenting.

Anything has to be better than the Mums who sit on the bus texting their mates.

I didn;t say anything about UQD's post. I didn't like it either but didn't comment because it wasn't the OP.

Why does the OP, or anyone really, think that a parent who is talking to his/her child, actually cares the slightest what a random stranger thinks? I find this bit absolutely astounding!
When I am out with my children, (or without them) I rarely pay any attention at all to strangers, why, you'd have to be truly striking to be be noticed. Why on Earth would I care what you think????????? (Nothing personal, OP, I am terribly self-absorbed and talk to my children all the time, they are happy and very articulate for their just-two-years you know )

No Rollergirl1, as others have said, it just sounded a little too close to what they do themselves rather than something very OTT as you intended it to.

AngryWasp: That wasn't directed at you. I think you have been very fair and direct and level-headed. And I have enjoyed reading what you have to say. And you have made me re-think certain things.

I did post in AIBU so am fully prepared for the flak and differing opinions, and I guess that is it really.

It does remind me why I don't bother with AIBU most of the time (since I started and wanted to make my presence known). It inevitably makes you unhappy........

guys it's called over-sharing

YANBU this makes me want to vom.

Now I'm well past those days I think it's sweet - I saw either an older mother or a younger grandmother with twins (about 18months) in a trolley in Sainsburys the other day and she was doing the whole running commentary/stream of consciousness thing that I probably used to do - "Which nappies should we get? Shall we get these nappies? Now where's the cat food? Shall we look for cat food?". I smiled in a thank God it's not me sort of way.

rollmops: well you voiced the other side of it perfectly. I am sure she had not a clue of my grumpyness. And she wouldn't have cared anyway. I was just voicing an irritation. I think the thread ran away with itself.

LOL. AIBU really CAN sting. I've been there a few times and you end up wanting to chuck your computer at the wall.

I do find Unquiet.... post rather odd, quote here:
"You get a lot of them in the summer holidays in the Natural History Museum. "Now, what's that, Alfie? That's right, a STEGOSAURUS. And what does a STEGOSAURUS eat? That's right, and what do we CALL a dinosaur that eats plants?..." etc.

Subtext is "Alfie is a Very Middle Class Child, don't you know, and we Talk About Things and he eats organic hummus." "
Now why would this bother you? YOu don't like organic produce? You dislike hummus? Your child doesn't know Triceratops from his elbow and has no idea what a carnivore is? Or is it because 'those' children being so horribly middle class and just might go to evil private schools? (sorry for the drift)but being curious.

because you want to think your own thoughts/talk to your own child, not listen to someone else

rollmops, I was just going with the flow of the thread... sigh... It's about LOUD, pubic "parenting."

'Now why would this bother you? YOu don't like organic produce? You dislike hummus? Your child doesn't know Triceratops from his elbow and has no idea what a carnivore is?'

none of the above would bother me
the irritating factor is the parent who is desperate to tell the bloody world

it's the performance that is annoying

we get this at dancing class
loud chatter about 'oh no look how huge my bill is' 'oh god, we practically live here

tis fakery
not a genuine attempt at conversation
a carefully crafted performance designed to make them appear to be the most 'committed^ parent

AAGGHHH! I missed the fecking L out of "public".... oh my god... nightmare...

Anyway, in an attempt to redeem myself:

My NHM overheard conversation was only slightly exaggerated for comic effect, honest!

What would pubic parenting involve?

one has to wonder

'oh god we practically live here'

I say that regularly at our local surestart centre. Its true though.