To want my 1 year old to eat healthy food and be left alone about it?

[littlesez]

Ok so I am sure IABU but just wondering if there is anyone who agrees with me eeeeek!

My daughter is 14 months, she eats what I eat which happens to be healthy stuff and often steals it from my plate I dont let her eat sweets, chocolate, cakes, crisps, juice and such but often feel as though people (other mums) think I am being mean Like I am depriving her in some way, just by general comments.

From my girl being a few months old I had MIL (who is generally lovely and just wants to help) asking me to give her some rusk at bedtime and suggesting formula because I had done so well to get this far BF

FIL has started to comment now. She doesnt have meat as I don't eat it, and she doesnt have dairy for a few reasons. He has lectured me about how important Iron and Calcium are for her. My response was that she gets plenty in her diet. He was then questioning me about what she drinks. Have you tried her with ribena? my response is that she has water.

I just don't understand! she eats plenty, loves her food and is healthy so why mess with it?

I know when she is old enough she will go and eat what she wants but while she is a baby I just want her to eat the right stuff and don't think i am depriving her.

I'm not hopping mad or anything just wish people would stop questioning me about what she eats/doesnt eat

littlesez If you're still here, can you pop onto the other thread please?
Thanks xxx

'At parties they were like two angry wasps. I actually saw her DH forcing mini rolls whole into his mouth as quickly as he could before his mum came back'

This is what I see all the time when mothers insist on controlling every item that passes their DCs lips and is horrible (made worse by the fact that the mother in question has no idea!). I think that people should take note of CrapSuzette's post. The aim should be that when your DC is old enough to be responsible for their own diet they can choose to regulate it themselves. They don't have to gorge on 'the forbidden' because they have had them in moderation and they are no big deal-they have decided for themselves that they don't actually like prawn cocktail crisps etc. Lead by example and if a kindly person gives your 14month old a piece of chocolate it really doesn't matter.

'Hubby, was allowed whatever, whenever, huge portions, regular take away's, and ended up being obese as a teenager and overweight now and unhappy about it.'

Of course he would! This is the other extreme and is worse than the over control! Have a healthy diet most of the time and relax on odd occasions.

Littlesez

You may be a little obsessed but so am I!! I give my little one diary and meat as as eat these as a family but juice, sugary biscuits, choc etc is not on the menu!

All her food is home made from scratch none of this cook in sauce stuff and then call it home made!

I even send her to the CM with her meals even though they would provide them for free (well not for free - our fee includes food) I saw the other kids eating pizza and curley fries followed by a choc mouse. I just dont want my child eating that at 1 year old, we will have enough of a battle when she is older.

If they have developed varied and healthy tastes now it surely will make things easier when they get bigger? Well I am hoping so

You stick with it. As long as they are healthy and happy what more do they need?

Make the most of it MyBoo-they eat whatever you put in front of them as babies but at the age of 2 yrs they realise they have a choice and if you are not careful food becomes a battle ground.
It is a relaxed attitude, a healthy diet, food being fun and sociable that develops varied and healthy tastes. I have 3 DSs who are all slim and active and cook themselves, when they need to, healthy well balanced meals. We achieved this through eating healthily as a family and not by anxiously controlling what grandparents serve up or what they got at parties or odd visits to fast food establishments. It is a huge mistake to allow food to become an issue.

Piscesmoon Have a healthy diet most of the time and relax on odd occasions.

sounds like perfect sense the things you list in your last post is whta we have too, a healthy diet, food being fun and sociable. Ok I know i need to relax a bit more and really do not want food to be an issue.

Thing is of course there are going to be odd occaisions when my girl eats certain things like at parties and I just have to get over myself and let her. I just mean generally.

It does work littlesez-you just have to have faith in your DD.

Snobear you sound a real delight of a person

YANBU - I can never understand why on earth people give babies and toodlers sweets - had constant battle witrh my parents who couldn't understand it, kept worritng about how the baby needed to 'develop a sweet tooth' and when the kids got older it was/is a stage whisper in front of them 'can they have a bag of crisps?' Why?????? Constantly badgering about whether they could bring cakes, easter egss, 'angel delight??????? etc.
No problem with chocolat occasionally or the odd biscuit, and general crap at parties & sleepovers (pancakes - for BREAKFAST!), but for their 'real' food we don't have crisps, lollipopsn, fizzy drinks etc - pudding is fruit.
(btw Very depressing - today @ Thorpe Park saw a woman decanting a fruit shoot inot a baby's bottle what hope has that poor defenceless little kids wtih an ingnorant parent like that )

The worst thing I ever saw was someone giving her 2 year old coke in his bottle at a Christening & then letting him run round screaming in church saying she thought he must be autistic or something. Having had numerous tests inflicted on him there was nothing wrong with him that a few tonnes less sugar wouldn't have cured. Hideous

Whilst at a baby and todler group at our local surestart centre a young teenage mum was proud to announce how her 9 month old baby had had a macdonalds with a coke and she loved it!

She then complained that her baby was not sleeping well and she was having loads of tests at the hospital for a skin condition. Not sure if they are linked to diet but I'm sure Coke will not help.

The following week the lady from surestart brought us all info on healthy diets for kids - not sure if it hit home or not.

I don't know it all about diet but you can see how the cycle continues. This young mum had no idea about diet, probably because of what she has been brought up eating.

A healthy, balanced start is always best.

But that mum will have had several years of schools wehrer they bang on all tehime about healthy eating. Its just a darn sight easier for a lazy person to scoff McD bought om the fly think ahead, plan, buy, carry home and peel a coupla potatoes.

Am on the fence here a bit. OP, on the whole I agree with you, I had a similar situation when my DCs were that age, I was strict about what they ate (didn't stop ds1 needing fillings but that's another story) but you're onto a loser with the grandparent generation who will regard the no meat/dairy etc as barmy and I think some element of compromise can be warranted e.g. if you let dd have a biscuit at Granny's then she will learn that these are occasional treats at Granny's, and in the meantime GPs will be so delighted at your flexibility which they will see as their own doing, and your future relationship will be that much more rosy! (Which you might be thankful for when you need a babysitter.)

Not at all, you're not being unreasonable, you are being sensible. My little boy (4) has to follow a very strict diet due to his asthma, eczema and severe allergies. It is an absolute pain, I have to cook everything from scratch, even bake all his bread (and saying that, I do allow him to eat home-made cakes and biscuits in moderation as sugar is a natural substance and not a trigger for him). At the end of the day, though, for all the hassle, at least I know he is following a healthy diet. I try to make sure he gets protein, carbohydrate and plenty veggies each day, and all he drinks is water and it's done him no harm. He was pestering me to buy a pineapple in the supermarket the other day then pestered to eat it + he keeps asking me if I'll make him sweet potatoes with brown rice for dinner, I am serious! So for having to follow this strict diet, he has actually developed a taste for healthy food and that makes the hassle worth it. If anyone questions his diet I just show them his inhalers and epi-pen, and that tends to stem the commentary although not always, I have to say. It depresses me the amount of rubbishy food marketed at children, full of colourings, preservatives and flavourings and not enough awareness of the effect these chemicals can have on them.