To want my 1 year old to eat healthy food and be left alone about it?

[littlesez]

Ok so I am sure IABU but just wondering if there is anyone who agrees with me eeeeek!

My daughter is 14 months, she eats what I eat which happens to be healthy stuff and often steals it from my plate I dont let her eat sweets, chocolate, cakes, crisps, juice and such but often feel as though people (other mums) think I am being mean Like I am depriving her in some way, just by general comments.

From my girl being a few months old I had MIL (who is generally lovely and just wants to help) asking me to give her some rusk at bedtime and suggesting formula because I had done so well to get this far BF

FIL has started to comment now. She doesnt have meat as I don't eat it, and she doesnt have dairy for a few reasons. He has lectured me about how important Iron and Calcium are for her. My response was that she gets plenty in her diet. He was then questioning me about what she drinks. Have you tried her with ribena? my response is that she has water.

I just don't understand! she eats plenty, loves her food and is healthy so why mess with it?

I know when she is old enough she will go and eat what she wants but while she is a baby I just want her to eat the right stuff and don't think i am depriving her.

I'm not hopping mad or anything just wish people would stop questioning me about what she eats/doesnt eat

op keep up the good work , but don't be surprised if your eat all good stuff baby turns into a fussy junk food monster in a year or so

I've managed it, piglet!

Apologies for the hijack again!

Ha ha ha. OP stated in her orininal post that she is sick of people questioning her judgement.

And then what does MN do? 6 pages later and people are now asking for a run down of her DD diet.

Very odd not to give your child meat and dairy, IMO. But I definitely agree with the OP on not giving juice or sweets or sugar.

I don't put sugar on DS1's cereal either - he doesn't know that you can even put sugar on cereal, and I hide the fact that I do - because I don't want him to develop a taste for it. I was given sugar on cereals, sugar in my tea (in a bottle ) and sugar on my fruit from a young age - and there are very few teeth in my mouth which don't have a filling. By contrast DH - who was raised on a generally awful diet but never had sugar on cereals, etc - has only 1 filling.

DS does have sweets and puddings, as part of a meal, or for a treat - I just don't want him to get into the habit of sweetening everything.

1. The OP is not vegan, her child is not vegan. The OP eats fish, as does her child - WFT is odd about that?

I personally think it is odder to feed your child on meat that is processed god knows how, pumped full of growth enhancing chemicals and carcinogens!!

What about those with dairy intolerance? Are they odd too

Absolutely gobsmacked by this thread.

No i never put sugar on dd cereal when she use to have it, now she just wants toast, cheese and bits and bobs for breakfast.

"What about those with dairy intolerance? Are they odd too"

I share your exasperation, LEM. So many people persist in thinking that a diet devoid of dairy is risky, despite an estimated 70% of the world's population being lactose intolerant. Dairy is a made-up food group. Dairy is not essential to a healthy diet. Calcium intake is important but there are a number of additional dietary/lifestyle factors that contribute to bone health. I think a lot of people don't think beyond dairy = calcium.

I wrote this post yeaterday. Posted it. but it did not post. since then I have read soobears post, and I am very sorry to say that her post is just the kind of thing i objet to.
Her list of :Do I go up to them and say, "You are being mean, depriving your fat kids from mange tout, hummous, bean sprouts, sun-dried tomatoes, mango, passionfruit, healthy breakfast cereals"? No, I don't. I let them get on with fattening up their little piglets.

see, is that that i don't think is balanced. my boys are skinny little things. ds1 eats similar portions to me. i'm sure that kid has worms. and they eat all of snobears list. but they also have the occassional , actual regular fish fingers, bits of chocolate and puddings and crsips and biscuits. in amongst their toones of fruit and home made grub.
so, can't we get some sort of balance here ? it appears not.

And i don't even like to think of them as treats. if you like a nice chicken salad, go for it. if you want to eat brie and crackers , do so. if you want to eat 2 mars bars, then why not.

I do. and I want me kids to aswell.

Here is yesterdays post :

Sometimes I query what my definition of healthy food is to other people.
I cook most stuff. I am blessed with children who will eat anything put infront of them. Ds1(6) isn't keen on lettuce and cucumber. ds2(1.6) is a total carnivore. But they eat every casserole, curry, vegetable, i put in front of them.
I cook from scratch alot. make my own shepherds pie and lasagne.
but we also eat processed food. last night we had beans on toast. dh and i both ill. hadn't had it for months. forgotten how nice it was.
we have had 6 bbq's this year. dh is bbq king. I buy costco burgers. they are 99% steak beef. they stay the same size after being cooked. this, says dh is the sign of good burgers.
both ds's lap them up.
this is processed food. but i think you guys have an unrealistic view , of what proceesed is. or a totally different view to what healthy is.

my kids eat high carb, becasue i am a diabetic. but they eat ANYTHING. every veg. everyhting. loads of fruit. crisps, biscuits, chocolae biscuits and chocolate too.

I feel like i am the minority on this thread. which i don't think i should be.

' I think a balanced diet & a relaxed attitude about food are among the most important things you can provide for your children. '

That seems to be the most sensible advice on here-and the best way to produce a DC who will grow up to be a healthy adult.

I agree with you Oblomov. ds1 had Burger King for lunch yesterday but it's an occasional thing not a regular occurence. He has sweets & chocolate sometimes but not as a treat. I hate the idea that sweet things are for when you're good. Doesn't seem a healthy attitude to me & having had an eating disorder myself I'm very aware of the mental associations with food.

I find Snobears reference to fattening little piglets ridiculous. Feeding your children processed junk morning, noon & night is obviously bad for them but the odd bar of chocolate or whatever is not a bad thing.

Sweets for being good or sweets when you are upset are giving them the wrong association. Sweets are just a pleasant food that you have in moderation, on odd occasions.

I've just read the thread, and I agree with you oblomov!

ds1 had a very restricted diet as an infant, partly for health reasons and partly because I didn't want him to have sugars/bad fats/processed food etc.

When ds2 (ds1 was 22 months) was born our landlady gave ds1 a chocolate lollipop as a present. I didn't get it out of his hands quickly enough so he unwrapped it and started eating it. After a bite or two he decided that he didn't like it, so shoved it in the baby's mouth. ds2 had his first chocolate at 3 days old, second hand. Mmmm, delicious!

Anyway, that was a bit of a turning point and I have relaxed a lot since then.

There is space in a diet for a lot of different foods, as long as the vast majority of them are healthy and nutritious.

But, I can't bring myself to McDonalds. That would be a step too far, imo.

Red wine, Thanks for your replies

I dont count calories or fat, I don't buy all organic food, I rarely eat lentils and never mung beans. We don't live on vegetables. we just don't eat meat, dairy or very sugary foods

I don't think of my daughter as a princess, she is just my girl and I want her to have a good start with food. She loves food, the social aspect of eating and gets a lot of enjoyment from it.

Oh but I do grow food out of my own overbearing arse though

So all kids who dont live on organic grown out of their overbearing mother's arse vegetables must be 'fat kids' hey?

oops I had copied and pasted the quote and didn't edit properly, rolls eyes

Red Red Wine...

Thanks for your ehem courteous reply.

When you ask, "Nice pressumption- are your kids four eyed jesus sandal wearing losers who are picked on at school Snobear?"...

...I wonder, are your kids the ones bullying the hippy kids at school? Are they the ones pounding their stomachs with crisps and using their excess weight to attack the kind of kids you throw scorn at?

You see, most of what my DS learns from us are not lessons taught, but through observation. We seek to lead by example, so when we are seen enjoying fresh fruit, salads, delicious smoothies, and vegetable-rich dinners. Are you one of these parents who says, "I just can't get little Gary to eat his carrots" whilst you yourself are eating hamburger mince all day, leaving your boiled spuds on the side of the plate? I suspect so. If your attitude is that it is fair to pick on children who eat well and don't conform to fashion trends (ie: wearing Nike from head to toe like a chav), then I suspect this will have rubbed off on your kids and they will be seeking to make life miserable for the healthier, higher-achieving children in their class when they begin back at school tomorrow.

And regarding the sandals... DS wears trainers like anyone else, is tall for his age, strong and fit, and enjoys playing football. He gets on well with the other kids at nursery school and is, in fact, somewhat of a leader.

Isn't it just a question of moderation?

My son eats a v healthy organic diet with fish 3 times a week. But children are gentically programmed to consume high calorie foods. This doesn't mean chocolate, crisps, sugary drinks etc. It could mean salmon, avocado, oils,peas, full fat yoghurt and full fat milk etc. Don't forget we do need some saturated fats in our diet for cell membranes and tissue formation, the ones we produce ourselves aren't as good as those taken into the system. What's wrong with a bit of high quality chocolate twice a month for an older child of 4 upwards?

My SIL had a friend who brought up her dc on an extreme diet without any treats. At parties they were like two angry wasps. I actually saw her DH forcing mini rolls whole into his mouth as quickly as he could before his mum came back. Kid's parties are a problem, and also the fact that you shouldn't dictate what other people eat. My DS went to a friends house for tea, and she asked me in advance whether he liked Smiley Faces and Airplane Chicken Nuggets...I just smiled and said I'm not sure but he's a good eater, he came back complaining there were no vegetables!

So I would say give them the best start that you can, but know that eventually you'll have to relax a little on the treats otherwise they won't be able to enjoy parties/teas/sleepovers. By that age though you can educate them to know what an acceptable amount of chocolate or cake is.

lol sorry her DS was forcing mini rolls in his mouth not her DH....

Yes great guess at my kids eating habits/behaviour/my eating habits.... EPIC FAIL to you Snobear!

My 3-year-old DTs have a balanced diet. By balanced, I mean plenty of protein (milk, meat, cheese); carbs, fruit, veg. Some cooked from scratch, some (kill me now!)ready-made or tinned. Sometimes they get chocolate as a snack; sometimes a piece of fruit. Sometimes they have wholemeal bread; sometimes white. it's no big deal. Food is there to be enjoyed; there is a place for occasional white-bread plastic ham sandwiches just as there is a place for an organic chicken fillet in a home-made curry sauce. Chocolate can be a snack sometimes, as can an apple. No food is ever turned into a 'big deal.'
While I do stick to definite meal and snack times, I've never made anything 'off limits', or been over-controlling about what they eat, or over zealous about them eating 'healthy food.' My reason? Because of an old friend of mine. Her mother controlled EVERYTHING that went into my friends mouth until she was a teenager and old enough to have freedom to eat what she liked. She was never allowed biscuits, chocolate, sweets. EVER - only 'healthy' food. So what happened when her mum was no longer able to control her? She ate for Britain. Chocolate, biscuits, cheese - everything that had been forbidden, she crammed into her 14-year-old mouth and she ballooned to 20 stone.
It's taken her 20 years and a lot of counselling to lose that weight. And I'm not entirely sure she's ever forgiven her essentially well-meaning but completely OTT mother for completely f*ckin up her eating habits.
My point? Before you slap yourselves on the back for never allowing any 'crap' to pass your child's lips, remember that there will come a time (not that far off in the future!) when you will not be there to control whether your child eats a chocolate bar/McDonalds/Chuppa Chups etc. And if it's been forbidden in the past, believe me - it'll be soooooo attractive when your back is turned. Because forbidden fruit is delicious.
Besides, allowing a child chocolate and sweets from time to time helps them learn to moderate themselves. If there's never been a huge issue over 'good' or 'bad' foods, a three-year-old IS capable of handing over a half eaten chocolate bar and saying, 'No more - I've had enough.' My son did it today.
Oh - and lottaluvin, agree with you about the angry wasps thing. I know two boys who eat an organic, completely vegetarian diet with no chocolate, sweets or anything deemed unwholesome. At every party I've ever been at where they've been guests, they don't actually play - they just hover by the food table hoovering up as much food as they can.
And I feel bloody sorry (and actually quite angry) for them.

Red Wino... Equal great guess at my kid's shoes and playground status.

You really do like to get on here and insult people. Neat use of "epic fail", indicating you are aware of recent internet inspired language (ooh how "now"). Are you also one of these people who comment "FAKE!" on YouTube clips?

You're a very negative person. Glad you're not my mum.

The jesus sandals comment was after you mentioned people who give their kids anything other than bloody mange tout had fat kids! If you are going to try and be insulting at least keep up with what YOU have posted!

*never eats any crap unless we are unfortunate enough to go to some fat-kid party.

Idiots say to me, "you are being mean, depriving him of biscuts/chocolate/cheeseburgers".

Do I go up to them and say, "You are being mean, depriving your fat kids from mange tout, hummous, bean sprouts, sun-dried tomatoes, mango, passionfruit, healthy breakfast cereals"? No, I don't. I let them get on with fattening up their little piglets*

This little gem is what my jesus sandals comment was about. Its me trying to be as pig ignorant as you are about parents who dont have a coronary about their little Tarquin eating the occasional biscuit or crisp.

Oh and ftr seeings as you are so misinformed, my kids are both skinny whippets on the 25th centile for weight and 75th for height, as mentioned earlier DD who has school dinners chooses pineapple/kiwifruit/grapes for pudding, DS doesnt like chocolate and eats pears til they literally come out of his bottom and his idea of a treat is a piece of bread and butter (seeded batch loaf if you must know).

Ignore him/her RedWine. The kids might eat 'healthily' but I sure as hell hope they get their attitude from the other parent. What an unpleasant sounding person...

I am not slapping myself on the back, I havent created this thread to say oh look at what my baby eats aren't I fab.

She is 14 months old, I know things will change I have said in the thread a few times including original post that I know when she is older things will be different. But to me she is just a baby and I dont want her to eat sweets, ribena, cakes, fecking mcdonalds and other such crap!

I am not anal about food I just like to lead what I believe is a healthy lifestyle, whats the point of me doing that and then going out to buy biscuits and cakes for a 14 month old baby

I have two examples of my own.

1. Myself, I was brought up by my hippy mum who homemade everything, she baked her own bread and i ate all kinds of lentily hippy meals. We were not allowed sweets until we were older.Even then we got 20p every friday to go to the shop I have never been underweight or overweight.

1. Hubby, was allowed whatever, whenever, huge portions, regular take away's, and ended up being obese as a teenager and overweight now and unhappy about it.

So you could find tons of different examples with different outcomes.

To me she is having a healthy balanced diet. I am trying to do the best by my girl like every mum.

I have liked reading all the replies and will certainly think about everything T